brain and nerve and bounding heart

Your future self is talking shit about you

I’m talking shit about me too she ain’t special

when in doubt slap His ass

His is capitalized….are you talking about god’s ass?

are you in doubt? just slap His ass

oh my god

forbidden fruit

Why do grown ass adults want to eat Tide pods so much?

Human Brain: Don’t eat the posion pod its fucking posion Monkey Brain: Eat the fruit pod its fruit Lizard Brain: The Washing Machine Is Vibrating Give It The Sex Fish Brain: Climb inside the washing machine it is safe.

this bearded dragon enjoys dressing as a real dragon.

Why is it on Tumblr Mobile™ you can close the app and open it 3 days later and still be on the same spot of your dash, but then other times you switch out of the app to respond to a text, and when you immediately come back, it’s gone, your family is gone, your house is gone, your dignity is gone.

if you wake up while McDonald’s is still serving breakfast then you’re doing good

doesnt mcdonalds have all day breakfast now?

if you wake up at all then you’re doing good

I got my heart broken and I survived, I failed 3 courses in university and graduated, I got rejected in the very first job I applied for and got promoted yesterday, I went through hard times with my family but then two years later, we laughed our hearts out over lunch, The closest friends disappointed me several times but I made new friends and loved them with all my heart. I did it once, I can do it again.

I NEEDED THIS SO BADLY

This. This everyday. I need this everyday.

Reblog this within 10 seconds and unexpected extra money will cum to you this week

The money will do what now

i hate pacman.  stop eating all the dots.  leave some dots for the rest of us you stupid piece of circle