veggiecass

There is an old belief in Serbian villages and small towns that certain pumpkins (and watermelons), when left outside during a full moon, will turn in to a vampire.

Happy Halloween, everyone!

I’ve mentioned before that I had an eating disorder for many years, and though I consider myself “recovered” there are aspects of my disorder that I still struggle with today — being quite a bit heavier than my wife is one of them.

When my wife and I moved in together back when we were still girlfriends, I was at my skinniest. She used to pick me up all the time and lift me off the ground, and I’d laugh and kick out my legs ‘cause I was just delighted to have her holding me.

But I started gaining weight as I went through recovery, and where once we were pretty close in size, I began to get bigger. And bigger. And bigger. And she remained her naturally petite self. I began to almost dread when she’d try to pick me up, sure that this time she wouldn’t be able to get me off the ground.

But every time, even if I protested, she’d lift me up and say something like: “See, you’re not so big that I can’t lift you!”

And one time I just blurted out: “But someday I’m going to be so fat you won’t be able to.”

She looked me dead in the eye and said: “No you won’t. Because if that ever happens, I’ll start working out.”

It was the best possible thing she could have said to me, because she wasn’t saying I wasn’t going to get fat — neither of us knew that for sure. She was just saying that I was never going to be “too fat” for her.

And every time I worry about getting bigger, I remember that I’ll never be so big that she can’t lift me, because baby knows how much I love being held, and she’ll change her own habits to ensure that I never feel “too big” or “too heavy” because in her eyes I’ll never be “too” anything.

Here’s a short list of comforting activities to do this October! These range from basic self-care to luxurious so there should be something for everyone.

- snuggle up with blankets and pillows

- try a new recipe, even if it’s just adding spices to your hot chocolate

- pick your own pumpkin (bonus for supporting local growers!)

- journal, particularly gratitude journaling if you suffer from seasonal depression

- stay hydrated!

- eat! trying a new dinner idea once a week is a good way to keep food interesting if you have the money.

- go on an autumn stroll (keep cosy if it’s cold out and pre-plan an accessible route if you need to)

- write a list of things you need to do this month and challenge yourself to tick at least ½ off

- set yourself achievable goals

- read a scary or autumn-y book

- try to have at least one day completely off your phone even if this is broken up into hour-long blocks across the month

- have a candle-lit bubblebath or a luxurious shower

- invest in light therapy if the darker months get you down

- change your bedcovers or buy new seasonal ones

- try a new craft such as knitting