Hitsuzen and Twelve Point Fives

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this is the oldest post on all of tumblr, posted in october 2006 before the website even launched publicly in 2007.

literal tumblr history

thanks

posting this panel was a mistake on my part

This post hit me like I was a cabbage stand.

i dont "use" tumblr im just here

Everyone, do not do this! Your local Dracula probably isn’t hurting you, and helps manage the area’s wolf and rat populations! In fact, most Draculas never leave their castles for more than an hour or two a night unless disturbed by humans. The FEW recent cases of Dracula attacks have all been proven to have been the result of a stressed Dracula mistaking clumsy hikers for its natural enemy, the werewolf. After overhunting by millennials in the 2000s, there are fewer than a thousand Draculas left in the wild today! Please stop spreading misinformation about an endangered species crucial to the ecosystem :(

Guys… when talking about the invasive species PLEASE use the correct terminology. Your local domestic vampire MIGHT be a Dracula or he MIGHT be a Cullen or Nosferatu or some other type, and it makes a difference as far as bait and deterrents. You’re better off consulting a pro with this kind of thing, because take it from me — the last thing you want is to spend a fortune on a Dracula trap filled with virginal maidens in nightgowns only to find out that the Lestat that’s been stalking your neighborhood would have been just as happy with a silk scarf and a few bottles of cheap red.

Let’s be honest, going productively psychotic in isolation is this year’s mood.

Tumblr is a hellsite but goddammit its our hellsite

Hellsite (affectionate)