Avatar and Banner by Moosopp-art

Charlie Kirk is scheduled to speak at UVU. I have the opportunity to do the funniest thing of all time

IT WASN'T ME I PROMISE

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

Hotdog vender lays down their life to protect their suicidal partner, who then takes over the hotdog stand to carry on their memory...

It's like talking to a 2010 Old Spice commercial with you people

*reels it in* aw yea this fish must be like 12 pounds. i cant wait to catch another one *feels around in my empty worm can* hmm *looks at my buddy steve napping with his hat over his eyes and his penis hanging out in the sun* *notices his penis* *notices the shape of it* *looks at my empty can that used to have worms in it* *looks back at his penis* *looks at him sleeping* *looks at the hook on my line* *looks back at his penis*

*reels it in* aw yea this fish must be like 12 pounds. i cant wait to catch another one *feels around in my empty worm can* hmm *looks at my buddy stephanie napping with her hat over her eyes and her penis hanging out in the sun* *notices her penis* *notices the shape of it* *looks at my empty can that used to have worms in it* *looks back at her penis* *looks at her sleeping* *looks at the hook on my line* *looks back at her penis*

its gonna be so nuts when our generation of old people is shuffling around with big stupid meme tattoos imagine being a personal support specialist in 2080 and peepaw has a bee movie script sleeve and youre twenty years old and delivering pills like dude what is that and he goes Its from a movie about a jerry seinfeld bug lusting after a human woman who looks like flo from progressive who is still a prominent american cultural figure and you say OK and then you help him plug into his VR headset to play for2nite the sequel to fortnite and he mains former president hunter biden and then you go on lunch break and pay $75 for a ham and cheese sandwich

dude’s fucking TORN about whether or not to buy a beret

Encounter: skategoons

i promise: however big you think this wave will be, it is bigger

I like to imagine that, thousands of years ago, humans still stood a (reasonably) safe distance from the ocean during weather like this to watch the waves, hooting and cheering when the spray came closer than expected and left them drenched