Loki's Pet🥀

“And have you wait around all night in my room for me to finish work when you should be wrapped up in your own bed and fast asleep?” He raised his eyebrows, tucking a stray hair behind your ear, “Nah, that doesn’t sound fair for you. Next time, sweetheart.”

But I don’t want to go home.

You frowned but didn’t argue against him, you had already left your toothbrush at his place last week after you managed to convince him to let you stay another night, and now you kept it beside his, reassuring him that it’s the one you’ll always use when you sleepover. 

“Okay, promise?” You asked, slowly dragging your feet on the carpet out of his room.

“Yeah, yeah, I promise.” Eddie pulled his door shut and followed you out of his trailer, Wayne was passed out on the couch so the two of you kept it down until you climbed in his van.

Eddie noticed that the closer and closer you got to your home, the quieter you became and your smile faded,pressing the side of your head into the window, watching other cars drive past before Eddie eventually turned right and drove down your street, stopping his van outside your home. 

“Is everything… are you okay?” He asked, his doe eyes watching you carefully. 

Being this clingy will scare him off, we haven’t been together that long. 

Don’t tell him, not yet.

You cleared your throat and blinked, “Yeah, I’m just tired,” you lied, “probably a good call you dropped me off.”

Eddie hesitated for a moment, “you sure?” he watched as you slowly unclipped your seatbelt and picked up your bag by your feet.

You nodded, “Mhm,” you opened the van door and got out, “you’ll call me tomorrow when you're awake, right?”

Eddie smiled, “You know I will.”

You gave a small back and waved before shutting the van door and walking towards the front door of your home, already dreading walking in and being without Eddie for another week. 

Eddie always waited until you were inside before he drove off but something didn’t feel right tonight but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was. He sighed and shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his eyes focusing on the road as he went back, his eyes quickly glancing through his rear mirror to take another look at your house. 

Eddie returned to the trailer to brush his teeth and get dressed, his eyes glued to your toothbrush. 

“You workin tonight, Edward?” Wayne asked, walking over toward his nephew with a cigarette between his teeth. 

Eddie spat his toothpaste and saliva mix into the sink and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, “Yeah, won’t be home ‘til late, you know how it is,” he replied, rinsing his toothbrush before placing it next to yours.

Wayne nodded and took a drag, “Your girlfriend, she’s a good one, Edward.” he turned around, shuffling over to the couch.

“Wayne?” Eddie called out, following him, “Can I ask you something?”

Wayne blew the smoke from his mouth and fell onto the couch, putting his feet up on the coffee table, “She’s not pregnant is she?”

Eddie smirked for a moment, laughing lightly but quickly shook his head with a sigh, “No, no, nothing like that. It’s just…” He walked over and sat next to his uncle, knowing he’d be late for work. “She never, uh, wants to go home. She always stalls me and begs to stay another night.”

"What's so bad about that, kid? Sounds like she really likes you,” Wayne muttered, continuing to smoke, the ashtray resting on his stomach. 

“There’s nothing bad about it at all, I guess I’m not used to it, you know, having a clingy girlfriend.” Eddie held his hand out to Wayne, his signal to borrow a cigarette. 

“Clingy isn’t a bad thing,” Wayne passed him the cigarette, “beats having a girlfriend who ditches you after promising a record label or whatever that mess was.” 

Eddie lit the cigarette and placed it in his mouth, taking a drag and letting out a thick cloud of smoke, “I’d rather have clingy any day over that but.. Something just feels off, you know? I’m kinda worried about her.”

Wayne rubbed his back into the cushions and fabric of the couch, getting himself comfortable for another nap. “Have you talked to her about it?” 

Eddie shook his head. 

“Well I’d suggest you get talkin’ to her,” Wayne crushed his short cigarette in the ashtray and shut his eyes, “think it over during your shift.”

The moment you walked through the door, the heavy weight on your shoulders and the grey cloud above you returned, you kicked your shoes off and focused on making a swift escape upstairs.

“When did you leave the house?” Your dad called out, his eyes fixed to the TV, “Did you get any beer from the store?”

Typical. 

“I didn’t go to the store, dad. I was at my boyfriends, remember?”

You wish you could remember a time when your dad remembered you, even acknowledged you with his two eyes and a warm hug, but the truth was you couldn’t. Your dad was emotionally unavailable, and part of you at times was sure that he didn’t even know who you were. 

When your parents divorced, you weren’t given the option to choose who you lived with, and living with your mom wasn’t an option you were given after she was deemed too emotionally unstable to be left responsible for a child. 

It started off with being late for school, not because you ran late for the bus or because your alarm clock didn’t go off, but because your dad would be so hungover, sprawled across the couch or bed, too out of it to wake up and get you ready. 

Then when you did make it to school and managed to get yourself home, you weren’t being fed. He’d whack a meal in the microwave to eat himself, but you were left to take care of you.

It had always been this way, you forced yourself to just get used to it.

He still didn’t look at you, “Boyfriend? Since when did you have a boyfriend?” his eyes were still on the football.

You huffed quietly, careful so that he couldn’t hear you. 

“Eddie. The guy I’ve been dating for over a month now, I’ve told you about him, I’m at his place every week.” 

Eddie felt like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, he remembered the little things about you and went out of his way to indulge in your preferences, like which side of the bed you felt safer and comfier sleeping on, or exactly how you liked your coffee, all within such a short time.

Your dads eyebrows knitted slightly and he hummed, sipping the last of his beer, “I didn’t even notice you were gone.”

No, you never do.

You went on to walk up the stairs when he called out to you again, “Hey, do me a favour, later on can you go through that big fabric pouch and pull out whatever change you can and get me some beers? Need them for the game.”

You glanced down at your wrist watch “Can’t dad, it’s getting late.” 

Get your own fucking beer.

“Fucking useless.” He grumbled, tossing his empty can across the room, still in the same dirty, stained shirt from before you left to see Eddie. 

You wanted to sleep but you couldn’t. Your thoughts about Eddie consumed you and your paranoia over being too much or too clingy began to eat away at you. 

He didn’t want me to stay an extra night, was I coming off too strong?! 

It’s not like I stalk him or anything, I just wish I could tell him, maybe he’d understand… his dad isn’t around either.

You tried to tell Eddie about your dad and how he treated you since he got custody but you never found the right moment, something would always come up or get in the way. Either Eddie would unintentionally start getting excited over a new album release, unable to control his outbursts of high expectations for certain tracks and tours, or Wayne would peek his head through Eddie’s door, getting to know you a little better or trying to embarrass his nephew.

The phone on your bedside table woke you up, you didn’t remember falling asleep but it didn’t matter. Eddie said he’d call you, and you’d never risk missing an opportunity to hear his voice, no matter how sleepy either of you were. 

“Hello?” you answered, holding back a yawn. 

“Hey babe, it’s me,” Eddie smiled on the other end, sounding just as tired as you were. 

You pressed the phone a little closer to your ear, gripping it protectively, “How was work? I’ve missed you.”

Eddie dampened his lips with his tongue, he stayed quiet for a moment before finally sighing down the phone, “Ah, you know how it is. Same drunken assholes starting fights, finishing later than usual with no overtime pay…” he paused for a moment, “I was wondering, are you available later? I was thinking we could go for a drive, maybe pick up some greasy food and just chill for a bit.” 

Eddie didn’t sound cheerful but you didn’t think anything of it, you assumed he was just tired from his shift.

Your ears pricked up and the relief of being able to escape these four walls and the roof ran through your system, waking you up. 

“Oh Eds, I’d love to!” you smiled down the phone, “What time were you thinking?”

“Well, I kinda haven't figured that out yet,” He paused again and you didn’t like it, he didn’t pause like this on the phone “was thinking like half an hour after I’ve woken up? Gives me enough time to have a shower and a quick smoke.” 

I’ve ruined it, haven’t I?

I’ve been too clingy.

Cancel on him, make it seem like you aren’t desperate to get out of the house. 

Don’t cancel! Are you kidding? You’ll rot away in your room all day! 

Just play it cool. Take it easy.

“Sure,” you replied, trying to tone down your excitement, allowing your intrusive thoughts to drown you, “will you call ahead of time or?”

“What’s better for you, sweetheart?” 

Sweetheart. See? He can’t be mad at me.

You weighed up the options for a moment and realised either would be fine, your dad wouldn’t care or notice anyway. 

“Hmmm, call me beforehand? Just so I know when you’re about to leave.” 

“Alright, you sound almost as tired as I do, get some sleep and I’ll call you when I’m coming, got it?” Eddie yawned down the phone, rubbing his eyes.

You nodded, sinking back into your bed, “Got it.”

By the time Eddie woke up and began to get himself dressed, a thought drifted into his head that he couldn’t shake, a reality he hadn’t considered before; what if you weren’t safe or happy at home?

It made perfect sense, you always changed the moment it was time to leave, stalling him with your shoe laces or peppering him with kisses when you weren’t looking for something that was secretly in the bottom of your bag. You always went quiet and seemed queasy when he’d pull up outside your house when dropping you off. 

You weren’t being clingy. 

Things weren’t good at home. 

You felt safe with him.

Eddie hurried outside, catching his uncle sitting in the afternoon sun, putting his carton of cigarettes in his pocket before he left for his shift at the plant. 

“Wayne, do you have a sec?” He asked, “I did some thinking, like you said.” 

Wayne raised an eyebrow, “What is it?”

Eddie took a deep breath and sighed, shrugging, “I don’t think she’s happy or safe at home, going back there… it makes her shrink into herself, I recognise that now.”

Wayne thought for a moment, wiping the building sweat from his brow, “I know you’ve not been together long and all but if this is the case and you really love her, she can always stay with us. She might hate it once she gets used to it, but I don’t have a problem with it.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to add more on to your plate-”

“I took you in, didn’t I?” Wayne approached Eddie, placing his hand on his shoulder. 

Eddie rarely thought about his dad, doing so usually came in phases on Fathers Day, at Christmas and on Birthdays, but Wayne managed to take the edge off in the beginning, and as time went on, the pain seemed to dissipate for Eddie. Sure, his dad was a deadbeat, but he had an uncle that loved and care about him; Wayne made up for his dads shortfalls. 

“Yeah,” Eddie nodded, his heart hurting from the thought of his dad and missing his mom. 

“If her moving in would be good for her and will keep you happy, then it’s no issue for me.” Wayne tapped Eddie on the shoulder and walked away, not wanting to be late for his shift.

Eddie didn’t need to think about you moving in for a moment longer. It wasn’t a risk. 

“Fuck,” Eddie sighed, rubbing his face with his hand, “I gotta buy a better bed.”

You managed to get some extra sleep once you were reassured that Eddie wasn’t mad and woke up an hour before he called, giving you enough time to get yourself freshened up. After Eddie called, you slowly slipped downstairs, the smell of mouldy food and grease making you gag as you reached the bottom step. 

Your dad was in the same spot as he was yesterday, the TV on but replaced by MTV now that the football game was long gone. More beer cans were dented and scattered across the floor, your dad was nodding and humming away, not hearing you coming down the stairs. 

“Dad?” you called out. 

He didn’t hear you. 

“Dad?” You repeated, a little louder. 

Still nothing. 

You turned and walked towards the door when your dad finally leaned forward and tilted his head, catching you. “Hey,” he raised his voice, “Where are you off to?” 

“Out,” You replied, slipping on your shoes. 

“Where?” He picked up the beer next to him, swirling it for a moment before tossing it across the room in disappointment. “You know what, don’t tell me, I don’t care. Do me a favour,” he began to cough, “get me some beers, will you? The walk is too far for your poor dad.” 

Eddie’s van pulled up outside, KISS blaring from his tape deck. 

Your hand hovered over the door handle and you quickly turned around, looking at your dad in the eyes, “It’s not even a five minute walk, Dad. The fresh air will do you some good.”

Your dad began to scowl and he scrunched his mouth up into a tight ball, grumbling under his breath. Frantically, you grabbed the handle and pulled it, opening the door and slipping out without experiencing his rage. Each step closer to Eddie felt like coming to the end of a long marathon in the exhausting heat, with a table full of ice cold bottled water waiting for you.

Eddie turned the music down slightly, Paul Stanley’s voice and the instruments now faint background noise. He waited for you to climb in. 

“Afternoon, Sweetheart.” He smiled, his eyes still a little heavy, “Food?”

You didn’t bother to clip on your belt, your heart rate already steadying at being in his presence, “Food sounds wonderful.”

Yesterday you were the one who went quiet in the van, fading into the window as Eddie dropped you off, but today Eddie wasn’t his usual self. You noticed he wasn’t raving about the new music video, probably the same one your dad was humming along to and how crap it was shot, or complaining about his shift. Instead, he just kept quiet, his eyes occasionally chancing a quick glance at you.

When he pulled into the parking lot rather than going straight to the Drive Thru, you knew something wasn’t right. 

He’s brought me here to break up with me, hasn’t he?

Eddie didn’t cut the engine, he knew that no music in the background would only make things more awkward.

Eddie cleared his throat, “Babe, can we talk?”

Oh no. 

Here it is. 

He’s going to end things here, isn’t he?

“Wh,” your voice died in your throat, “What is it?” 

He sighed, shifting in his seat to face you, “Since we got together, I’ve uh, noticed more and more how you never want to go home.”

You prepared yourself for the inevitable.

He’ll tell you you’re too clingy, that you’re too much and too fast, and that he can’t be with someone so… intense.

Eddie swallowed the lump in his throat, looking away for a moment before forcing himself to meet your eyes again. “Is everything okay… at home?” He finally breathed, “You’re not being… are you?”

The air left your lungs for a moment, your eyes widened from expecting the blow but you weren’t expecting this. Your lips parted and wobbled, tears filled your eyes. 

How do I tell him?

What do I even say?

“Oh baby, come here.” Eddie murmured, pulling you into him over the gear shift, his hands wrapping around you. 

You buried your face into his neck, your tears running down his skin with your hands resting on his chest. He held you, stroking your hair until you managed to wipe your eyes and pull away. 

Taking a deep breath, you looked at Eddie, engulfed with the concern in his eyes. 

“It’s my dad, he… since he got custody he’s always been so emotionally, well, just completely unavailable. He doesn’t notice when I come or go, when I was a kid he neglected me. Forgot to get me up for school, never fed me, it was… it’s as if I’m invisible to him unless I’m about to walk in and out that door,” you shook your head, “and you know all he seems to care about? His drink.”

Eddie took your hand in his and squeezed it, “You feel like you’re just wasting away in that house, don’t you?” 

You nodded, “You make me happy, Eds. You actually acknowledge me and don’t make me feel like I’m a burden. You get me out of that place, that dark pit. I love you for more than that, I mean, I’m not with you so I can get out if that's what you’re thinking.”

Eddie let out a light laugh, stroking the top of your hand with his thumb, “I know, babe, you don’t have to reassure me.” 

A temporary silence filled the van, the KISS tape that was in looping back to the start. 

“I know we’ve not been together long and people will think I’m either crazy or you’re pregnant, but..” Eddie dampened his lips again, his eyebrows pulling together, focusing on your hand and tracing circles into it, “you could move in with me and Wayne.”

The offer came out as a nervous mumble but you knew he was serious.

Your eyebrows shot up and your hand twitched in his, “Oh my god, you’re serious.” You murmured, “Are you sure?!” 

“I spoke to my uncle about it and uh, he likes you, thinks you’re a sweet girl and he took me in, you know,after  my old man failed to be a dad..” Eddie presses a kiss to your hand before running his soft lips against your skin, “So what d’you say, wanna get out of that hell hole and stay with us in our cramped trailer?”

You’ll get to be with Eddie, always.

You’ll never have to go home. 

You can be invisible to your dad without it hurting anymore, living a happier life, in a happier place.