lil yellowjackets

Sometimes it happened without warning, a scent that tugged at a half forgotten memory, a tone of voice that reminded her of a long gone parent, or simply the quiet safety of being surrounded by people who understood.

Jackie had been there for every stage of it, quietly steady. The others were too, of course, but Shauna never let them close in the same way. With Jackie, it was different. Jackie was the one she would cling to without thinking, the one she’d press her face against when the world felt too big and she felt too small. Jackie was the anchor, the person who didn’t make her feel weak for slipping but made it seem almost natural, as though it was just another side of who she was.

Still, the problem hadn’t shown itself until almost a year in. By then, Shauna had settled into her own kind of rhythm. In her headspace, she hovered around four or five, old enough to understand things, young enough to need comfort. She was independent compared to some of the others, who needed near-constant care, or who fell into toddlerhood so deeply they couldn’t manage naps or nights without someone watching over them.

Shauna never needed that. Not once. She’d held onto a kind of pride in it, though she would never have said that out loud. There had never been accidents, never even a close call, though in secret, she didn’t mind the ritual that came afterward, the way Jackie would smile down at her and murmur, “Good girl,” or ruffle her hair when she went potty on her own. Shauna would roll her eyes sometimes, pretending she was too grown for that kind of praise, but it always landed, always warming something quiet inside her.

Maybe that was the contradiction, how she could be so sure of herself in one way, yet still ache for Jackie’s approval in another. She’d never asked for more, but sometimes, when she caught herself lingering too long in Jackie’s lap or feeling too small in her chest, the thought would flicker in her mind that maybe she wanted to be cared for even when she didn’t strictly need it.

And the first accident happened in early September.

Shauna had been curled up on the sofa with Lottie and Nat, her head nestled in the taller woman’s lap while Nat clung to her Mama’s side, already drifting. Nat’s soother bobbed lazily at her lips, her eyelids drooping in that telltale way that meant she wouldn’t last through the episode. Shauna, on the other hand, was still awake, though only just. her thumb tucked loosely in her mouth as her hazel eyes halfheartedly followed along with the bright colours of Paw Patrol. She knew the episode by heart; Nat had watched it countless times, always with the same absorbed little stillness that came when she was small.

Lottie didn’t mind in the slightest. She was Mama to Nat first, of course, but she never pushed the others away when they needed her. When Shauna curled into her lap, or one of the other girls leaned against her shoulder, Lottie took it with the same gentle ease. She had enough warmth to go around.

Halfway through the episode, Jackie padded into the living room, wiping her damp hands on the hem of her shirt after helping Tai and Laura Lee with the dishes from lunch. She paused at the back of the couch, peering over. Nat was clearly gone, lost to sleep, her mouth slack around the soother. Shauna, though, was still awake, eyes glazed but open. Jackie reached down without a word, letting her fingers slide softly through Shauna’s silky auburn hair. She always touched first, just so Shauna wouldn’t startle.

“Hi, sweet girl,” she murmured, her voice falling naturally into that soft, sing-songy cadence she used with the littles. “D’you wanna come take a nap with me?”

Shauna’s thumb slipped from in her mouth to let it rest against her teeth as she shook her head, her eyes darting stubbornly back to the flashing screen. She didn’t feel tired, not really. She felt heavy in her stomach instead, unsettled and off, and she didn’t want to move. But she also knew Jackie rarely let her win when it came to naps.

“Come on, bug,” Jackie coaxed again, brushing a lock of hair from Shauna’s forehead. “Lottie’s gonna have to get up to take Nat upstairs, and you don’t wanna be left all by yourself, right?”

That landed. Shauna hesitated, then tipped her chin up toward Lottie. Lottie gave her a small, knowing smile, nodding once like she was quietly echoing Jackie’s words. The reassurance made Shauna huff out a little sigh, tugging her thumb fully free before slowly pushing herself upright.

As Lottie rose carefully, cradling the sleeping blonde against her shoulder, Shauna sat back with another small sigh. Jackie was already there, hand extended, patient as ever. Even though she didn’t feel like sleeping, Shauna’s hand found hers without thought, her smaller fingers curling into Jackie’s palm.

“That’s my girl,” Jackie said warmly, giving her hand a squeeze as she guided her up from the couch. She tilted her head toward the kitchen as they passed. “Do you want some juice, pretty girl?”

Shauna hesitated, then gave the smallest of nods. Juice meant her cup. Juice meant routine.

Jackie smiled, humming a little tune under her breath as she pulled a familiar Winnie the Pooh sippy cup from the cupboard. The one with the faded honey pots and little bees buzzing around cartoon clouds. She knew it was Shauna’s favourite, it always had to be this one if it was clean.

“Stand right here for me, okay?” Jackie said softly, resting her hand briefly against Shauna’s shoulder before moving to the fridge. Shauna lingered by the entryway, toes curling against the cool linoleum through her socks, Winnie the Pooh also, as she watched Jackie fill the cup halfway with apple juice.

The silicone spout was perfect; Jackie knew Shauna liked to nibble on it as much as she liked to drink from it. Just one of her little habits that nobody really teased her for. Jackie twisted the lid on carefully before holding it out, waiting until Shauna’s hands came up to take it, almost shy.

“There we go,” Jackie murmured. “Nice and cold, just how you like it.”

Shauna lifted it to her mouth, nibbling at the spout before drawing a sip, her shoulders loosening almost imperceptibly. Jackie reached out with her free hand, brushing her knuckles across her cheek, pleased at the sight of her settling.

“C’mon, baby,” Jackie coaxed gently, curling her fingers around Shauna’s free hand. She noticed immediately how Shauna’s lips worked at the spout of the cup, not for the juice, barely a sip was gone, but for the steady comfort of sucking. The rhythmic motion was soothing her more than the drink itself.

Jackie’s thumb traced over Shauna’s knuckles as she led her out of the kitchen, guiding her down the familiar hallway. They passed the other girls’ doors on the way, Lottie’s room, where she caught just a glimpse of Nat being changed for her nap, her hair mussed and cheeks flushed from sleep. From Mari’s room came the faint sound of tinny voices and music, no doubt some YouTube video she’d gotten sucked into. The house felt alive, safe, everyone tucked into their own little rhythms.

“Almost there,” Jackie murmured, giving Shauna’s hand a light squeeze.

By the time they reached their room, Shauna was dragging her feet just slightly, thumb pressing against the spout of her sippy cup as if it helped her keep focus. Jackie nudged the door closed behind them with her hip before guiding her toward the bed.

“Alright,” Jackie hummed, her voice lilting with that softness she always used when she wanted Shauna calm and pliant. She gave her the gentlest of pats on the bottom to guide her forward. “Can you be a good girl and lie down while Mama gets you some pyjamas?”

Shauna gave a small, obedient nod, her hair falling into her face as she climbed up onto the bed. She curled herself near the foot of it rather than the pillows, lying on her side and drawing her knees up slightly, her sippy cup still nestled in her hands. The spout rested against her lips as she suckled, her eyes already fluttering heavier now that the comfort of her room wrapped around her.

Jackie moved quietly, tugging open the drawer where Shauna’s little clothes were folded neatly. Her fingers sifted through soft fabrics, past patterned shirts, oversized sweats, a few pairs of footed sleepers and soft onesies, before stopping at the sight of cozy pyjama pants dotted with tiny bears.

“Mm, here we go.” Jackie said softly to herself, glancing back over her shoulder at the girl on the bed.

She pulled them free, holding the fabric up for a moment like she was presenting a treasure. The little bears smiled back, cartoonish and round. Jackie already knew the reaction she’d get, Shauna wouldn’t say much, but the slight lift of her brows or the way her lips curved against the spout would give her away.

“Look what I found hiding in the drawer,” Jackie teased lightly as she turned toward the bed, giving the pants a playful little shake. “Think these guys missed you.”

Shauna blinked up at her, half-lidded and slow, but sure enough there it was, that almost imperceptible tug at the corners of her mouth. She gave a faint hum around the spout, clutching her cup tighter as if to anchor herself in the moment.

Jackie smiled warmly, setting the pants on the edge of the bed before kneeling down beside her. She reached out, brushing Shauna’s hair back from her face, her thumb stroking softly along her temple. “My good girl,” she murmured. “So sleepy.”

After a few long moments of simply admiring her little one, Shauna curled up small on the bed, her cheeks faintly pink as she soothed herself with steady, sleepy pulls on her sippy cup, Jackie finally moved. The quiet, rhythmic suckling noises filled the room, soft enough that they almost blended with the faint creak of the house settling.

Jackie found herself smiling at the irony. Shauna always tried so hard to insist she wasn’t tired, only to melt the second she had something to suck on. It was like watching the fight leave her inch by inch, her body betraying her stubbornness in the sweetest way.

“Alright, my little bear,” Jackie murmured as she picked up the fuzzy pyjamas from the foot of the bed. The fabric was warm against her fingers, familiar from being washed so often. “Let’s get you comfy, hm?”

She leaned down and began tugging gently at the waistband of Shauna’s baggy cargo pants, the ones she’d worn earlier in the day when she’d been trying to act a little older. They slid down easily, bunching around her ankles until Jackie carefully coaxed them off, folding them neatly for later. Shauna didn’t resist, just blinked slowly up at the ceiling, still clutching her cup, legs limp as Jackie guided each little foot into the soft pyjama pants.

“There we go, one paw, then the other,” Jackie said softly as she worked, pulling them up over Shauna’s legs and smoothing the waistband around her middle. She gave the bear print a fond little pat before sitting back for a moment, watching the way Shauna’s chest rose and fell with the beginnings of drowsy breaths.

From the nightstand, Jackie reached for the small basket that always held Shauna’s pacifiers. She didn’t need to rummage long, her fingers closed around the one she knew would be best, the one Shauna always settled with quickest. A Winnie the Pooh pacifier, tiny illustrations of each character scattered across the shield. A thin ribbon dangled from the clip, patterned with cartoon bees buzzing in looping trails. Jackie smiled to herself, clipping it to the neckline of Shauna’s shirt before laying the pacifier gently on her chest.

“Are you almost done with your juice?” Jackie murmured softly, brushing a knuckle against Shauna’s cheek. She tilted the sippy cup just enough to peek. The juice was gone, Shauna wasn’t drinking anymore, just sucking at the spout for the comfort of it.

“Baby,” Jackie cooed, drawing out the word as she stroked a thumb across Shauna’s temple. “You can’t do that, you’ll upset your tummy, remember?”

She let out a playful little gasp as she tugged the cup from Shauna’s mouth, exaggerating the motion just enough to distract her from fussing. Sure enough, Shauna’s brows knitted faintly, her lips parting like she might whimper, until Jackie slipped the pacifier into its place. The switch was seamless. Shauna latched on immediately, suckling with soft, eager rhythm, her big brown eyes only half open now, glassy and heavy with sleep.

“There we go,” Jackie whispered, leaning closer as her hand rubbed slow, soothing circles over Shauna’s belly. The gesture was almost a ritual by now, the one thing that never failed to help her relax into her body. “Get some sleep, little bear. Mama’s right here.”

Shauna shifted faintly under the touch, the pacifier bobbing slightly between her lips as she sighed through her nose, eyelids drooping further. Jackie stayed with her, hand warm and steady, watching as that stubborn little edge softened away.

Jackie left Shauna to nap for a while, knowing her girl could get rather fussy when she didn’t get a little rest during the day, especially when she was little. She sometimes made her take naps even when she wasn’t regressing, simply for the same reason, just a little different. Adult Shauna didn’t get fussy, she got cranky and moody, sharp with her words and quick to snap, and that was never good, especially when Mari was around to push her buttons.

When she returned to the bedroom an hour later, the house was hushed, the only sound was the faint hum of the old heater kicking on. Jackie crept inside, careful not to disturb the quiet, and climbed onto the mattress on her knees. Shauna was laid on her tummy, her breathing uneven but heavy with sleep. Jackie leaned down and threaded her fingers gently through Shauna’s hair, brushing it back from her forehead the way she knew calmed her.

Shauna stirred, lids fluttering open, but instead of the groggy adoration Jackie had been expecting, her body jolted with a shiver. She shifted almost uncomfortably against the sheets, and before Jackie could even ask if she was alright, Shauna’s face crumpled. A thin, broken hiccup escaped her mouth before she squeezed her eyes shut and began to wail, the sound raw and panicked.

“Whoa, hey,” Jackie whispered quickly, taken aback, her hand immediately moving from Shauna’s hair to her back. She rubbed broad circles, trying to soothe her, but Shauna only trembled harder, curling in on herself like she was terrified. Jackie’s own heart lurched in her chest.

“Shhh, it’s okay. Shh, you have to calm down, sweetheart,” she murmured, her voice as steady as she could manage. “Mama’s right here. I’ve got you.”

The words seemed to soften the edge of the panic, but not enough. Shauna still hiccuped through her sobs, her shoulders shaking, unable to catch her breath long enough to explain what was wrong. Jackie bit the inside of her cheek, torn between giving her more time and stepping in.

Finally, she tugged the blanket off Shauna’s back to scoop her into her arms, and that was when she saw it, the dark patch staining the sheets, spreading beneath her, clinging damply to the back of her pajama pants. Jackie froze for only a second, the realization hitting her like a wave, before her instincts kicked in.

“Oh, honey…” she whispered, the pieces clicking together. The tears, the trembling, it wasn’t fear. It was shame.

Jackie slid her arms under Shauna and lifted her carefully, holding her tight against her chest even as the girl buried her face in her shoulder, sobbing harder now that she’d been found out. Jackie didn’t flinch, didn’t hesitate, didn’t care that her lap was a bit damp now. She only held her closer, rocking them both gently as she rubbed her back with one hand.

“You’re okay, baby,” she whispered firmly, pressing her cheek against Shauna’s damp hair. “Accidents happen. Mama’s not mad. Not at all.”

Shauna shook her head weakly against her shoulder, muffled whimpers betraying how mortified she felt. Jackie only kissed the side of her head, keeping her voice low and steady, hoping Shauna would hear the truth in it, that there was nothing here worth crying over.

Jackie held Shauna until she was able to settle, keeping her close against her chest until the sobs finally slowed into little hiccups. She made sure Shauna had her pacifier, gently guiding it between her lips, and whispered over and over that she hadn’t done anything wrong.

Only once Shauna had stopped trembling entirely did Jackie move to clean her up, handling everything with practiced ease. She didn’t even spare the mattress a second thought, most of the beds had protective covers, since the little ones had a habit of wandering in and curling up wherever they pleased. Nothing was ruined. Jackie made sure Shauna knew it, too, assuring her with every step that it was an easy thing to fix, nothing more.

The second accident was a bit different.

Almost two weeks later, at the beginning of October, Jackie, Lottie, and Van were out in the backyard with the little ones, letting them run and play in the crisp autumn air. Leaves had begun to fall steadily, blanketing the yard in warm shades of orange and brown. The girls darted between piles of leaves, shrieking with laughter, or found their own small distractions, always within reason.

Akilah and Laura Lee had chosen to stay inside and handle dinner, which would prove to be much easier without a handful of kids in the kitchen.

Tai was over by the big oak tree with Mari, Mel, Gen and Misty, trying to string ghost decorations from the branches. The younger two, Mel and Gen, were determined to “help,” which mostly meant tangling the string or handing Tai leaves instead of tape. Jackie and Lottie sat side by side on the porch steps, chuckling at the chaos, Van leaning lazily against the railing beside them.

But Jackie’s focus drifted elsewhere. Her eyes kept finding Shauna. The younger girl was sitting on her knees near one of the raked piles, not diving into it like Nat, who had all but buried herself in leaves, proudly declaring she was digging like a raccoon. Shauna wasn’t really playing at all, she held a leaf loosely in her hand, turning it over and rubbing the edges with slow curiosity. Her Winnie the Pooh pacifier bobbed softly as she sucked, her gaze faraway.

Jackie almost smirked, faintly. Shauna usually only reached for her soother when she was upset or going down for a nap. Lately, though, it had become a near constant presence, nestled in her mouth from morning to night.

And Jackie noticed more than that. Shauna had been slipping more comfortably into her headspace over the past few days, her edges softening in ways Jackie couldn’t ignore. She wasn’t as quick with her words, wasn’t as sharp or restless. She seemed content just to watch the others play, her movements slower, more careful, like everything around her had grown too big and she was adjusting to it. She wasn’t really much smaller in her headspace now, she was simply comfortable and relaxed.

Jackie’s chest tugged at the sight.

She also noticed that Shauna had gravitated toward Nat whenever she did choose to play. And surprisingly, it worked. Even in her own regression, Nat seemed to sense how delicate Shauna was, how much softer she’d become. She’d play gently with her, letting Shauna take the lead in their small games, never overwhelming her. Jackie had caught the way Lottie would glance their way with quiet approval, later offering Nat little words of praise for how gentle she’d been with Shauna, since she was usually rather rangy and excitable about playing.

Jackie, though, didn’t say much. She just watched, keeping her slight worry folded behind a calm expression, her arms draped loosely over her knees as she studied the way Shauna clutched that leaf like it was the most fascinating thing in the world.

After a few moments, Nat seemed to freeze mid motion, her hands still buried in the pile of leaves as her eyes flicked sideways toward Shauna. Something in her expression shifted, a quiet alertness that didn’t belong in their play. She turned her head to Lottie, who was sitting on the porch steps, and gave her a pointed look, wide eyed and uncertain, as if silently saying something’s wrong.

Lottie caught it instantly. She rose to her feet in one smooth motion, striding toward the leaf pile. Her hand brushed gently over Nat’s messy hair as she leaned down to hear the hurried, whispered explanation. Lottie’s gaze shifted quickly to Shauna, her face soft but edged with concern, before she turned back toward Jackie and gave a small nod, beckoning her closer.

Jackie didn’t hesitate. She was already moving before she’d even fully thought it through, her boots crunching over the fallen leaves as her pulse ticked upward. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Lottie scooping Nat onto her hip, murmuring something about helping Tai with the ghost decorations. The words were casual, but Jackie knew better, Lottie was pulling her back to give Shauna space, to keep curious eyes away.

When Jackie reached the pile of leaves, she slowed, crouching down beside Shauna. At first glance, nothing seemed out of place. The girl was on her knees, her small hands sifting absently through the leaves, her expression distant but content.

“Hey, sweet girl,” Jackie cooed, forcing her voice light, her face warming with a genuine smile as Shauna lifted her gaze from the ground.

Shauna’s whole face brightened at the sight of her. Her pacifier bobbed as she smiled around it, letting it fall to her chest to speak. “Just playin’, Mommy.” She tilted her head and held up a leaf, as if the simple offering could prove her words true.

Jackie’s chest ached at the innocence of it. She reached to brush a bit of hair out of Shauna’s eyes, ready to tell her how proud she was, until she noticed it.

Her heart sank.

There, spread across the dark fabric of Shauna’s sweatpants, was a clear damp patch. It clung to her knees and thighs where she sat in the leaves, unmistakable now that Jackie’s eyes had found it.

This wasn’t like the accident during her nap. This was different. She was awake, fully conscious, smiling like nothing at all was wrong, completely unaware, or perhaps completely detached from it.

Jackie’s throat tightened as she exhaled slowly through her nose, schooling her face into calm. She reached out and rested a hand lightly against Shauna’s back, steadying herself before she spoke.

“Oh, baby,” she whispered softly, more to herself than to Shauna. She blinked up at Jackie, eyes wide and trusting, as though she couldn’t begin to imagine what she might have just noticed. “Come here.”

Jackie took a confused Shauna by the hand, gently tugging until the girl rose unsteadily to her feet. She brushed stray leaves off her pants as best she could before guiding her quickly but carefully toward the sliding glass door, her body angled just enough to shield Shauna from the others’ view. The last thing she wanted was curious eyes or awkward questions from the other littles.

Once inside, blessedly unnoticed, Jackie crouched down to help her out of her sneakers, slipping them off one at a time. She never let go of her hand, keeping that warm point of connection as she led Shauna up the stairs to the main bathroom on the second floor. The sound of the kitchen radio from downstairs buzzed faintly in the background, covering the quiet shuffle of their steps.

“Can you stand right there for a second? Mama will be right back,” Jackie cooed once they reached the bathroom, pressing a quick kiss to the tip of Shauna’s nose. The gesture earned her a puzzled, slightly nervous look, the kind Shauna always gave when she wasn’t sure what was happening but was too emotional to argue. Jackie bit back a smile at how soft she looked, clutching the edge of the counter for comfort.

“But… not long?” Shauna’s voice was hesitant, muffled a little around her pacifier as she shifted on her feet.

“Never long, baby,” Jackie promised warmly, brushing a hand over her cheek before slipping out into the hall.

True to her word, it was only three minutes before she was back, arms full of a fresh outfit. She laid it neatly on the counter, Shauna’s favorite soft Tigger shirt in dark green, a fresh pair of underwear, and some cozy sweats.

Shauna’s eyes lit faintly with recognition at the shirt but dimmed again as confusion quickly followed. She didn’t understand why she needed new clothes. Why Jackie’s voice had been so careful. But the answer came soon enough.

Jackie knelt in front of her and began tugging gently at her waistband. That was when Shauna felt it, the cling of damp fabric against her thighs, the cold weight of it. Her stomach dropped. Trembles overtook her small frame, and before she could stop it, little cries broke out of her chest, escalating into soft, breathless sobs.

“Oh, shhh… it’s okay, baby,” Jackie soothed immediately, rising to her feet to gather Shauna against her side for a moment. She rubbed her back in calm circles before easing her away just enough to continue. “Here, let me get your shirt done first, alright? Arms up. I’ll be suuuper fast.”

Shauna whimpered, cheeks burning with embarrassment. She didn’t want to move, didn’t want to face it. But she wanted to be good for Mama. So, with a shaky breath, she pushed past her jumbled thoughts and awkwardly lifted her arms. Jackie slipped the damp shirt up and over her head, careful not to tug too hard, then quickly set it aside. The hem had caught some of the wetness, just enough to make her shiver.

Without missing a beat, Jackie pulled the fresh Tigger shirt over her, tugging it down until it fell comfortably into place. She reached to untuck Shauna’s hair from the collar, clipped her pacifier back to the neckline, and gently guided the soother into her mouth.

“There,” Jackie murmured, her voice low and reassuring as she cupped Shauna’s damp, flushed face in both hands. Her thumbs brushed away the hot tears that clung under her eyes. “Mama isn’t mad at you, honey. Not one bit. You’re only little, and it happens. No more tears, little bear.”

Shauna sniffled around her pacifier, eyes glassy as she tried to process the comfort against the heavy knot of shame in her chest. Jackie’s steady gaze didn’t waver, her voice wrapping around her like a blanket until her sobs finally quieted into soft, shaky breaths.

After a few quiet, softly spoken breathing exercises to make sure Shauna was okay, Jackie pressed one last kiss to her damp cheek before rising. She moved over to the sink, twisting the tap until steam curled faintly from the flow of water, and dampened a soft washcloth until it was warm but not too hot. She wrung it out carefully, her movements unhurried, before turning back to her girl.

By the time Jackie crouched in front of her again, Shauna was already trembling, eyes darting nervously as her hands tugged at the hem of her new Tigger shirt. Before she had the chance to fuss, Jackie’s gentle hands were at her waistband, coaxing her out of her damp pants and underwear.

The cold air against her skin only worsened the reality of what had happened, and the poor girl’s tears welled up again until they spilled freely, her face crumpling as sobs bubbled out. She whimpered behind her pacifier, trying to hide her face with her sleeve, but Jackie’s quiet presence left no room for shame.

“Shhh, I know, baby,” Jackie whispered, her voice a steady hush as she brought the cloth to her skin. “It’s just Mama, only me. You’re safe.”

The warm strokes of the cloth were slow, tender, each pass meant to soothe as much as clean. Jackie worked carefully, not rushing, but not lingering long enough for Shauna to grow more distressed. As much as every sob broke her heart, she knew she couldn’t just scoop her up yet. Not when she was still damp and uncomfortable, she couldn’t risk her little one getting a rash or irritation.

Shauna’s cries softened into small hiccups as the warmth chased away the chill, her shaky breaths broken by muffled whimpers. Jackie murmured soft encouragement with every stroke. “There we go… almost done, my love. You’re doing so good.”

When the cloth was finally set aside, Jackie reached for the clean underwear, holding it open with both hands. “Step in, sweetheart. Nice and slow.”

Shauna wobbled forward, still sniffling, but obeyed. She clutched Jackie’s shoulder for balance, her legs a little unsteady from the intensity of her tears. Once she was secure, Jackie guided the waistband up and over her hips, then reached for the soft sweats. She held out one leg hole, then the other, steadying Shauna as she climbed into them. The fabric was pulled snug and comfortable at her waist, clean and warm against her skin.

“All done,” Jackie said softly, her voice warm with pride. She didn’t even wait another second before opening her arms. “C’mere, sweet girl.”

Shauna practically collapsed into her, burying her head against Jackie’s chest as though she had been waiting the entire time for permission to fold into her arms. Jackie gathered her close, one hand rubbing soothing circles along her back, the other cupping the back of her head.

“My brave girl, hm?” Jackie murmured into her hair, rocking her ever so slightly. “It’s okay now. Mama’s got you.”

Shauna’s breathing hitched as she tried to calm down, her pacifier bobbing gently as she suckled for comfort. Jackie could feel the small shudders of each remaining sob, but slowly, with steady reassurance, they faded into calmer breaths.

“Good girl,” Jackie whispered, her lips brushing her hairline. “That’s it. Breathe with me.”

She kept her arms firm around her little one, not letting go until Shauna’s body softened against her, until she could feel the tension begin to leave her shoulders. Bit by bit, the tears slowed. The pacifier helped too, Jackie could see the way her jaw loosened and steadied, how each quiet suckle made her breaths more even.

Finally, Shauna understood she wasn’t in trouble, that she was safe and cared for. She wasn’t alone with her accident, she was loved through it.

“Why don’t we go have a little nap before dinner? Maybe you’ll feel better after some rest.” And Shauna didn’t have the energy to fight it, wanting to be wherever Jackie was, so if she was going for a nap, Shauna was going too.

Jackie led Shauna gently across the hall, her hand never leaving the small of her back as though guiding her with touch alone. Their shared room was quiet when they stepped inside, the soft glow from the afternoon light slipping in through the curtains. Jackie made sure the door was nudged mostly closed behind them, enough to give privacy without shutting them off entirely.

She guided Shauna over to the bed, smoothing out the covers with one hand before helping the little one crawl up onto the mattress. Shauna moved slowly, her limbs still heavy from the crying, but she went willingly, settling down with her blanket tugged loosely against her chest once she’d found it discarded on the duvet. Jackie followed right after, climbing in beside her and immediately drawing her close.

Her arms folded instinctively around Shauna’s small frame, holding her snug against her body. The younger girl curled in without hesitation, her cheek pressed to Jackie’s chest, her breathing already slowing as the steady rhythm of safety surrounded her. Jackie tilted her head down, brushing a soft kiss against her temple before letting her fingers wander gently through her hair, combing through the strands with patient strokes.

Shauna’s eyes, glassy but heavy-lidded, lifted to Jackie’s face as if searching for reassurance even as sleep tugged at her. Jackie gave it freely, a faint smile, calm and warm, eyes soft enough to hold her there.

“You’re okay, baby,” Jackie whispered, her voice a hush meant only for her little one. “Mama’s right here.”

The words seemed to be all Shauna needed. Her lashes lowered, her eyes fluttering as though she wanted to keep them on Jackie but couldn’t fight against the weight of her exhaustion. Each soft stroke of Jackie’s fingers through her hair coaxed her closer to rest, until her body grew limp with trust.

She was asleep before either of them realized it, her face relaxed and slack against Jackie’s chest. The faint traces of dampness from earlier tears still clung to her skin, but her expression was peaceful now, her mouth parted slightly around the pacifier she hadn’t let go of. Jackie tightened her arms just a fraction, letting her own cheek rest against Shauna’s hair, breathing in the faint, comforting scent of her shampoo.

Nothing else mattered, not the smell of dinner wafting up from the kitchen, not the noise of the others still playing outside, not even the memory of the accident. All that mattered was this. Shauna was safe, clean, warm, and loved in her arms.

And the final accident took place just a while later.

Jackie had made sure she didn’t nod off, even though her body had begun to relax with Shauna curled against it, just so that Shauna wouldn’t end up sleeping the entire evening away. When the clock ticked past the hour, she leaned in close, quietly stirring the girl awake with the same patience she always needed for Shauna when she was little.

It took a few minutes of gentle whispering and a soft bit of rocking in her arms before Shauna’s lashes fluttered, her eyes peeling open just enough to squint against the thin slice of sunlight sneaking in through the curtains. The brightness made her whine softly, hiding behind her hands as if that would shield her.

“Shh,” Jackie fawned, brushing one of the hands down so she could see her face. “C’mon, my little bear. We have to get some food in that tummy.” Her tone was light, coaxing, though Shauna only answered with a muffled, tired sound, still burrowed against her chest.

Jackie tried shifting her upright, but every little adjustment brought another soft whine, each one tugging at her heart. She didn’t want to keep upsetting her girl, but she also knew Shauna needed to eat something, and skipping dinner wasn’t an option. So in one smooth practiced movement, Jackie sat herself fully upright, Shauna curled snug against her chest like she belonged there.

“There we go,” she soothed, rocking them just slightly. Every fussy noise Shauna made was met with a quiet shush, Jackie’s lips brushing the top of her forehead in soft reassurance.

“I know you’re sleepy, baby, but you need to eat, okay?” Jackie whispered. “And then after, we can come back up to bed and watch your show. Pinky promise.”

She untangled one hand and held out her pinky with all the seriousness of an oath, waiting patiently. Shauna let out one last little whimper before surrendering, wrapping her small finger around Jackie’s. The ritual was complete only when Shauna leaned down to kiss her own knuckle, something she always did, and Jackie followed suit, pressing her lips to her own side of the promise. All the while, Shauna still kept her pacifier tucked between her lips, making the whole exchange impossibly soft. Jackie had to bite the inside of her cheek to stop herself from cooing aloud.

“Good girl,” she murmured instead, finally getting to her feet while holding Shauna’s hands in hers. She guided her gently off the bed and into the hallway, walking backwards just so she could keep her eyes on her.

“Let’s go, baby. We’ll be done before you know it,” Jackie encouraged, squeezing her hands.

Shauna followed obediently, though her steps were sluggish, her expression still hazy from sleep. Her pacifier bobbed faintly as she sucked on it, eyes heavy-lidded, cheeks still a little pink. Jackie couldn’t help but note how soft her girl looked, how the weight of her sleepiness seemed to linger on her whole body, tugging her smaller and smaller even as Jackie coaxed her along.

The kitchen, as per usual, was buzzing with soft conversation, everyone falling into the familiar rhythm of their evening routine. Nat was whining from her chair about wanting a different sippy cup with her dinner, her voice edging toward dramatic as she insisted she couldn’t use the one in front of her.

Across the table, Mel was trying with all her might to wriggle herself onto Van’s lap, despite Van balancing their own plate. Van looked half-amused, half-exasperated, murmuring something to Laura Lee about “needing an extra set of arms” as Laura Lee laughed and tried not to give away the top secret recipe for the chicken she somehow always made so perfectly. Mari was being Mari, loud, playful, and teasing anyone who got within reach, which explained the occasional whines, bursts of laughter, and soft scolding from Tai drifting across the table.

Jackie kept Shauna close through it all, steering her gently toward her usual spot at the table. She eased her into the chair, scooting it in carefully so Shauna wouldn’t have to fuss, then brushed her shoulder lightly before heading toward the counter to make her a plate.

Laura Lee, predictably, had outdone herself. She never made just one dish, there was always something for everyone, especially when Tai helped in the kitchen. Alongside the golden-crisp chicken sat steaming bowls of sides like roasted vegetables, mashed potatoes, and a big pot of homemade macaroni and cheese. Jackie didn’t need to think twice. Shauna’s sleepy face and sluggish little body told her enough, she probably wouldn’t want much. Something easy, warm, and filling would do.

Jackie scooped a small portion of the macaroni into a pale-blue Eeyore bowl, one of Shauna’s clear favorites, then reached for the soft plastic spoon they usually used when Shauna was in this sleepy little mood. Setting it aside, she filled a sippy cup with apple juice, humming under her breath as she screwed the lid on.

Behind her, she could hear Lottie soothing Nat.

“Bubba, there’s no other cups, okay? Mama needs to wash them. You can have your regular cup before bed, I promise,” she explained, calm but firm.

Jackie turned her head just enough to glance back. Nat’s lip was trembling, her little body squirming in her chair as though the entire world might end without her beloved Chase sippy cup. Jackie almost rolled her eyes but caught herself, Nat was Lottie’s problem tonight. She was her primary caregiver after all, but that never stopped the other carers from stepping in sometimes.

Sure enough, Lottie was already caving. Nat’s whine softened into a needy reach, arms tugging insistently toward her Mommy. Lottie sighed, her stern expression crumbling instantly under those soft blue eyes.

“Do you want a bottle instead?” she offered, her voice low and gentle, the corners of her lips twitching into a small smile despite herself. “Mama knows where the Marshall one is.”

Jackie smirked faintly at the phrasing, turning back to the counter as she poured the apple juice into Shauna’s cup. She didn’t need to see Nat’s reaction to know what had happened, since by the time she capped the cup, Lottie had appeared at her side with an exasperated but fond sigh, clearly having lost the standoff.

Jackie didn’t say anything, just shook her head with amusement as she took Shauna’s plate and cup into her hands, nudging Lottie playfully once before striding over to the table. The chatter around her carried on, but her focus stayed where it always did, back on her little one, waiting patiently at the table, her pacifier bobbing gently as she blinked sleepily at the rest of the room.

“Why is Shauna a baby?” Mel asked softly from Van’s side, her voice barely above a whisper. She knew better than to let anyone but Van hear, her curiosity tugging harder than her instinct to stay quiet. There was no edge to the question, no judgment, it was just Mel’s smaller self struggling to understand why Shauna seemed so different lately, so much softer, almost delicate.

Van lowered their head a little, making sure their words were just for Mel. “She’s not a baby, bud. She’s just tired, so Jackie is helping her,” they explained gently, their tone warm enough to settle Mel’s little furrowed brows. Van knew Mel well enough to see she meant no harm, she was simply watching, wondering. Together, the two of them let their eyes drift across the table to where Jackie was seated.

Jackie had just plucked Shauna’s pacifier from her mouth, setting it down carefully by her sippy cup before lifting the first spoonful of pasta. Her voice was low and coaxing, eyes locked on her little girl.

Of course, Mari’s ears perked at the exchange. She always had a knack for tuning into things that weren’t meant for her, and this time was no different. She lifted her eyes from her own plate just as Tai carefully made sure each item of food on it didn’t touch the others.

“Those are for babies,” Mari announced matter-of-factly, pointing toward Shauna’s pacifier where it rested on the table beside the sippy cup. Her tone was pointed, though it wasn’t clear whether she meant the pacifier, the cup, or both.

“That’s not nice, Mar,” Laura Lee cut in before Shauna could react, her voice soft but lined with that practiced firmness that usually kept the littles from getting too bold.

Across the table, Shauna’s head lifted slightly at Mari’s words. Her brows pinched together as she worked at the mouthful of pasta, chewing slowly, her small face twisting with the beginnings of unease. Normally she would have snapped back, had some sharp retort ready to throw Mari off balance, but today, nothing came. There wasn’t any fight in her. She just sat quietly, staring at her bowl, her shoulders hunched faintly as if she could make herself smaller.

Jackie saw it instantly. Her hand reached out, brushing Shauna’s arm, her voice slipping in like a lifeline. “Good job, my girl,” she praised softly, catching Shauna’s wandering eyes. “Ready for another bite?”

She exaggerated her expression, widening her eyes and puffing her cheeks a little as she held the spoon up. It was enough to tug Shauna’s lips into the faintest, shyest smile, her shoulders curling as if embarrassed by the attention. Still, she leaned forward obediently, letting Jackie slip the spoon into her mouth. Jackie made a gentle airplane sound as she did, playful and light, coaxing Shauna into easing again.

But Mari wasn’t done. Her head tilted, watching the exchange with narrowed eyes. “But only babies need help eating,” she said, louder this time, her voice carrying over the table. “Shauna is a baby.”

The words hung in the air for just a moment too long.

Then, without missing a beat, Tai interjected. She scooped a piece of chicken onto one of the silicone forks and leaned across, pushing it carefully toward Mari’s mouth with enough pressure to get it past her lips, but not enough to hurt.

“You mean like this?” Tai arched a brow, her voice calm but sharp, waiting.

Mari froze, her mouth parting just enough for the fork to slip past. She chewed reluctantly, shrinking a little in her seat as her bravado crumbled under Tai’s steady gaze.

“Now mind your business and eat your grub, nosy pants,” Tai added, sitting back as if the matter were settled. Mari ducked her head, cheeks warm with sheepishness, and didn’t argue further.

Jackie’s eyes flicked up long enough to catch Tai’s, sending a small, grateful look across the table before turning her full attention back to her girl. Shauna was still there, still waiting, though her head had dipped forward slightly, her body swaying with how close she was to nodding off. She looked impossibly soft in that moment, her lashes low, her mouth parting faintly as if even chewing took too much effort.

Jackie gathered another spoonful, voice dropping into that gentle sing-song meant only for Shauna. “Almost done, little bear. Just a few more bites.”

Shauna’s body sort of froze for a moment as she leaned in for another sleepy, and then she looked up at Jackie with this look on her face, like she was so completely afraid, like she’d been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Her shoulders stiffened, her small fingers tightening around the edge of her chair, and her eyes darted away and back like she was trapped between wanting to confess and wanting to vanish.

“What’s the matter?” Jackie asked softly, her voice carrying none of the suspicion Shauna seemed to fear. She sort of lowered the spoon in her hand, the one that had been halfway to Shauna’s lips, as she watched her girl’s eyes begin to gloss over. Her chest tightened when Shauna’s bottom lip began to wobble, trembling in a way that looked like it hurt.

Jackie dropped the spoon into the barely touched bowl of pasta, worry spreading across her face. Shauna just sat stiff in her chair, staring down, her breathing quickening as if every inhale might betray her. She wanted so badly to curl up in Jackie’s arms and just cry, but at the same time she flinched each time Jackie reached out, her body caught between longing and terror.

“Baby,” Jackie cooed gently, sensing the sudden fear in every bit of Shauna’s body language. She kept her voice low and warm, letting the others’ chatter at the table blur into the background. “Can you tell Mama what’s wrong?”

She reached out slowly, deliberately, not rushing, her hand hovering before cupping Shauna’s cheek. She paused when Shauna shrank back a little, but didn’t withdraw, just waited until the girl’s panic softened enough to let her touch.

She was thankful that Lottie seemed to be distracting the littles with a conversation about what they wanted to do after dinner, hearing Mel ask if they could maybe go back outside to play. Mel’s voice carried that familiar pleading tone, her hands probably already folded under her chin. She was very much in a phase of wanting to be outside all the time.

“It might be a little cold out, bud,” Jackie heard Van say softly in reply, her voice careful and patient, before she could focus fully back into the sound of Shauna’s fragile sniffles.

“Tell Mama what happened, baby. You’re safe, I promise.” Jackie coaxed, her thumb smoothing little circles over Shauna’s cheek, her other hand resting lightly against her knee, steadying her.

The girl let out a soft whimper, tugging at the hem of her shirt almost frantically, like she was trying to peel it away from her skin. Jackie reached down to feel it, her brows knitting as she tried to understand what was bothering her girl. Her fingertips brushed the hem, but it was perfectly fine, visually. She didn’t understand.

“Can you use your words? Hm?” she coaxed gently, her tone never pressing, but Shauna only hiccuped in reply. Her little hands kept pulling at her shirt uncomfortably, stretching the fabric out just a little, her body curling inward as if she could hide the truth.

Then the first soft sob left her mouth, muffled enough to miss the ears of the other girls, who were still animatedly trying to convince the grownups to take them back outside, even if it meant bundling up in pyjamas and sweaters to fight the chilly air.

Jackie’s heart ached. She understood that Shauna probably wasn’t going to talk, too mortified by whatever was going on in her little head. The shame was written all over her. Jackie stood slowly, sliding her hands under Shauna’s arms with careful strength, lifting her onto her hip the way she did a million times before.

But it wasn’t until she was reaching for the sippy cup of apple juice and the soother from the table, feeling the dampness seeping warm and heavy into her shirt where Shauna’s body pressed against her side, that she understood.

“Shh, baby…” Jackie’s voice broke into a whisper, kissing Shauna’s temple quickly, her lips lingering there as if to ground her. She tried her best to comfort her as she quickly hurried through the living room and back up to their room, clutching her close, murmuring soft nothings into her ear.

The poor girl was still sobbing, but a little more freely now that they were alone, her neck tightening with each jagged breath she sucked in through her cries. Her hands clung to Jackie’s shirt, balled into little fists as if she could anchor herself by holding onto her.

“Shhh,” Jackie soothed as she crouched down, her movements deliberate, stripping Shauna’s wet clothes from her trembling body with as much gentleness as she could manage. She noticed the shirt was dry, Shauna had been tugging on it at the table to keep it that way. The realization made her chest ache. Shauna had been trying to protect her, trying to save her the trouble of having to change another piece of clothing, too ashamed to let Jackie work so hard.

The thought of her worrying about being an inconvenience after having an accident was nearly unbearable. Jackie’s throat burned, her heart heavy. “You’re okay, sweetheart. My poor girl… you’re not in any trouble, okay?”

She hung the wet pants and underwear on the doorknob, intending to take them with her when she inevitably left for the bathroom to fetch another washcloth. For now, she turned back to her poor sniffly baby, who stood small and bare, hugging her own arms. Jackie’s hands came back up to Shauna’s cheeks, cradling her hot, damp face, feeling the way it burned against her palms.

“You’ve been feeling so small, haven’t you, bug?” Jackie whispered, her voice a mix of tenderness and ache.

And Shauna’s whole body seemed to collapse inward at the words. A rough, raw sob tore free, one that sounded like it had been wedged deep between her ribcage for hours, waiting to break loose. She gave the smallest, shakiest nod, burying her damp face back into Jackie’s chest as if she could hide there forever. Jackie just held her close, her own eyes prickling, whispering again and again, “It’s okay, sweet girl. Shh.”

Jackie held Shauna against her chest until she could at least take in a breath without jolting, rubbing her back in long, steady strokes and praising her softly for being so brave. She whispered little affirmations into her hair until Shauna’s sobs finally thinned into shaky inhales that didn’t rattle her whole frame.

And once she had, Jackie pulled back enough to separate herself from Shauna, brushing damp strands of hair off her face and reaching for her soother to slip it gently into her mouth again. Shauna took it automatically, lips closing around the teat like she had been waiting for it all along, her shoulders loosening just a fraction.

“That’s my good girl. Stay right there, baby,” Jackie encouraged softly, giving her a reassuring squeeze before standing. She turned toward the doorway, not forgetting to snatch the damp clothing from the door handle as she headed into the hallway, her steps quick but careful.

Shauna wanted to stay calm, she really did. She was already tired, her whole body heavy from crying as hard as she just had, and there was a strange hollow ache in her chest from letting so much out. But standing there half-naked and small, the cool air brushing her bare legs, her face still hot with shame, she couldn’t help it. The embarrassment of the whole situation pressed down on her, the memory of wetting herself at the table replaying in her head, and the shame clung like something sticky she couldn’t peel away. It all started to creep back up her throat until she was crying again.

These weren’t the same sobs as before, these were heartbreaking little cries, fast and breathy, almost gasping, with those sharp little hiccups after each one that made it sound like her chest hurt with every inhale. Her hands twisted in her shirt again, the only thing she had to hold onto.

Jackie had heard the first little break from down the hall in the storage room, where she’d gone to grab some supplies to better take care of Shauna. The sound made her pause instantly, her stomach sinking. She didn’t waste a second, she gathered what she needed into her arms, an armful of soft onesie, wipes, and one other thing, and hurried back toward the bedroom, her pace quickening into a jog when the crying grew clearer.

Her face completely softened when she spotted her poor little girl. Shauna was standing idly by the bed, her head ducked, tugging desperately at her shirt with both fists as she bawled around the soother that trembled uselessly with each sob. It was so hard to watch Shauna like this, to see her drowning in her own tears, but harder still was the way she tried to comfort herself with her pacifier and couldn’t catch her breath enough to use it properly, her lips trembling too much to draw in the soothing rhythm she usually found there.

Jackie immediately laid a soft little mat down on the floor, spreading it out with practiced hands before dropping the rest of the supplies beside it. She didn’t even glance at what she had grabbed, her eyes never left Shauna’s face, her first priority was tending to her girl.

But Shauna was trying to push her away again, her shame flaring so brightly that it overpowered her need for comfort. She shook her head, hands balling against her chest still refusing to let go of the shirt, guilty words spilling in between muffled sobs, broken and desperate.

“Didn’t… mean to,” she whimpered, her voice small and jagged, repeating it over and over like a mantra, like she was pleading for her life with Jackie over something so simple and easy to fix.

Jackie’s chest ached sharply at the sound. She couldn’t understand why Shauna was so terrified, whether it was just the weight of her guilt, or if something like this had happened when she was younger, if someone had made her feel this same suffocating shame before. Or maybe it was just instinct, the way her little self reacted, bracing for punishment that would never come.

“Shh,” Jackie soothed, crouching down and gently beginning to pry Shauna’s trembling hands from the tight grip she had on her shirt, her knuckles white and shaking. “Mama knows you didn’t mean to, honey.” She spoke in the calmest tone she could manage, repeating it slowly, again and again, her voice steady and grounding: “Not your fault, baby. You’re not in trouble. Mama understands. Just an accident.”

It took time, long, aching moments of gentle words and soft touches, for the panic to finally ebb, for Shauna’s cries to dull into little whimpers. Her shoulders loosened, her fingers finally letting go of the fabric as Jackie’s hand smoothed over them.

“Can you lie down for me?” Jackie cooed, keeping her voice feather-light as she took Shauna’s hands in her own, guiding her carefully toward the mat. She tipped her head, catching her eyes, smiling softly. “We’ll get you nice and clean, and then we can eat a little bit more, and maybe you can play outside if you wanna, huh?”

Her words were a promise, but more than that, they were gentle scaffolding, a reminder that this wasn’t the end of the world, that normalcy waited just beyond this moment. Jackie kept her voice low, soothing, every syllable soaked in reassurance.

Shauna hesitated, her chest still hiccuping with leftover sobs, but when Jackie looked at her like that, so warm, so steady, with nothing but love in her eyes, she couldn’t resist. She let herself be lowered back onto the mat, her body giving in to the touch she trusted most. And Jackie’s heart ached with relief at how easily she allowed herself to be cared for, not that she’d ever been anything else to her.

Once Shauna was laid down, Jackie reached for her blankie from the end of the bed, giving it a good shake before draping it gently over her chest. She tugged it high enough to nestle it just beneath Shauna’s chin, tucking the corners close to her shoulders the way she knew she liked, soft and secure. Shauna immediately burrowed into the fleece, her lips working slowly around her pacifier as the steady rhythm of sucking began to calm her. The tension in her body melted a little more with each pull of the soother, the little lines of worry easing from her between her brows.

“Atta girl, baby,” Jackie murmured, stroking the top of her head once, just for reassurance.

She stood after a moment, glancing back at Shauna to make sure she was still settled. The occasional little whimper or sleepy coo drifted from behind her as she moved to the dresser, careful not to make too much noise as she rummaged through the drawers. Her fingers brushed through neatly folded stacks until she pulled out a pair of Shauna’s oversized pyjama pants, deliberately dark in colour. Jackie had chosen them on purpose, she knew Shauna would feel safer that way, less worried about anything showing.

“Alright, little bear,” Jackie said softly as she brought them back over, her voice playful but steady. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

She laid the pants neatly beside Shauna on the bed before reaching for the package of baby wipes from the pile of supplies she’d brought in. With a soft rip of plastic, she plucked one free, rubbing it lightly between her fingers to warm it as much as she could.

“This is gonna be a little cold, okay?” she warned gently, crouching beside Shauna’s side, waiting until she saw the tiniest nod from beneath the blanket. Only then did Jackie begin to clean, carefully stroking down her thighs first, slow and tender, before moving to her bottom. She switched to a fresh wipe halfway through, making sure not to use a yucky one on sensitive areas.

She paused before the more sensitive spot, holding another wipe ready. “This might be a little scary, but Mama needs you to be a big girl and give it a try, okay? Can you do that?” Jackie’s hand rested protectively just above where she meant, her eyes waiting on Shauna’s face.

The girl hesitated, her pacifier bobbing as she sucked nervously, but finally she gave a gentle, reluctant nod. Jackie praised her immediately, her voice syrupy and warm: “That’s my brave girl.” She worked quickly but thoroughly, wiping softly at Shauna’s most private parts, murmuring little reassurances each time the girl shifted or squirmed.

Shauna only fussed once during the cleanup, a startled whimper slipping out when the first cold touch broke through the warmth her blanket had been giving her cheeks. She immediately buried her face into it again, pressing her nose deep into the fabric as if to hide.

Jackie set the wipes aside once she was satisfied, reaching into the pile and holding up one of the nighttime diapers she’d grabbed from the storage room, what was practically a nursery by now. Her fingers pinched at the pastel print on the front as she held it where Shauna could see.

Shauna’s face faltered instantly, her eyes wide and uncertain.

“I know, baby. I know,” Jackie soothed quickly, lowering the diaper to her lap as if to soften the moment. “But it’s only for a little bit. Just to make sure we don’t have any more accidents, hm?” Her tone was apologetic but firm, laced with the kind of gentle authority that told Shauna she wasn’t being punished, only cared for.

Shauna’s face twitched as if she wanted to protest, to fuss and cry and push Jackie’s hands away, but she didn’t. She was still big enough to understand the truth: it was either this, or more tears over wet pants, and she was just so tired of crying. So instead, she clutched her blanket tighter, the pacifier rising and falling with nervous little sucks, and watched Jackie shyly from beneath her lashes.

“Mama’s gonna start now, ‘kay?” Jackie cooed, holding the diaper ready but not moving until she saw a signal. “You let me know if you’re uncomfortable, and we can take a break.” She waited, patient, until Shauna gave the tiniest nod, her cheeks pink as she nuzzled into her blankie again.

With practiced care, Jackie slipped her hands beneath Shauna’s hips. “Okay, baby, lift up for Mama… just a little.” Shauna obeyed with effort, raising her bottom just enough for Jackie to slide the diaper beneath her. Jackie guided her down onto it, tugging it into place with steady fingers.

“You’re doing so good, pretty girl,” Jackie praised warmly as she smoothed the soft material across her, pulling it snug but comfortable. “Almost done.” One by one, she fastened the four tapes securely, making sure the edges didn’t pinch her skin. Then she tugged Shauna’s shirt down to cover the waistband, tucking everything in neat and snug.

“There we go. Good job, baby.” Jackie’s smile softened into something almost proud as she reached for the oversized pyjamas, holding them open. “Feet in for me, love.”

Shauna pushed her little socked feet forward, obedient but still shy, and Jackie guided each one through before pulling the baggy fabric up her legs. She stood Shauna carefully, steadying her as she tied the strings to keep them secure around her hips, her movements slow and deliberate so Shauna wouldn’t feel rushed.

Once everything was in place, Jackie scooped her girl up with practiced ease, settling her comfortably on her hip. She patted her bottom through the soft jammies, a tender little gesture that said more than words.

“Do you feel okay?” Jackie murmured, kissing the side of her head. “Wanna try and eat a little more?”

Shauna wasn’t too sure about going back downstairs, her nerves prickling under her skin. The thought of sitting at the table again, even in clean clothes, made her stomach twist. She worried about being looked at like she was dumb, about someone making fun of her, despite knowing deep down that there was really only one person who’d even think to tease her. Still, the shame clung like a shadow, and it was hard to shake it off.

But Jackie would probably want to eat something herself, and Shauna had already taken up so much of her time, all of Jackie’s attention, and the little one would have felt guilty saying no. So she just gave a weak shrug before a faint nod followed, the gesture small but enough to tell Jackie she’d try. She tucked her face shyly into Jackie’s shoulder, letting the older girl carry her, her blanket pressed to her chin.

Before heading out the door, Jackie snagged Shauna’s sippy cup from the nightstand, holding it in one hand as she balanced Shauna on her hip. “I’m so proud of you, baby. So, so proud,” she murmured against Shauna’s hair, planting a few soft kisses onto her temple and cheeks as she walked down the stairs. Each word made Shauna melt a little more into her, clinging as if she could disappear into Jackie’s sweater.

Van spotted them first when they entered the kitchen, and immediately pushed their chair back. “Want me to heat her food up a bit, Jack?” they asked, already halfway to the other side of the table.

“If you don’t mind,” Jackie replied, a little smile tugging at her lips at the nickname Van had given her. She watched Van wave her off, pulling the little Eeyore bowl from the table and settling it into the microwave.

Jackie lowered herself into a chair, settling Shauna carefully onto her lap this time rather than trying to put her in her own seat. She offered soft little pats to the front of her diaper without even thinking about it, her hand gentle and steady. Surprisingly, the action soothed Shauna instead of embarrassing her, her eyes grew heavy again, drooping as she snuggled deeper into her blanket.

The microwave beeped, and Van quickly pulled the bowl free, holding it carefully with their sleeves before setting it in front of Jackie. Mari’s gaze lingered, her head tilting slightly as she seemed to realize something from the soft sound the pats had made.

“Sooo,” Taissa broke the quiet, taking a bite of asparagus before speaking again. “Have we picked out any Halloween costumes yet?” She glanced around curiously as Van slid the food in front of Jackie, a soft “thanks” leaving the other girl.

Nat, still in Lottie’s lap, immediately perked up, wiggling with excitement. The sudden motion made both Lottie and Taissa laugh, and Tai nodded, giving Nat the go-ahead to speak. Lottie praised her softly for being patient and waiting her turn instead of blurting it out, her hand smoothing Nat’s hair.

“Um, well,” Nat started, voice gentle and small as always. “I’m bein’ Luigi, and Shauna is gonna be M-” She stopped abruptly, her face crumpling as someone talked over her. Nat was such a soft speaker, and interruptions always upset her, her lips pressing together tight as her shoulders curled. Lottie and Laura Lee immediately leaned in to soothe her, murmuring reassurances, while Tai sent over a sympathetic look.

“I know what Shauna should be,” Mari announced suddenly, almost too loudly, a strange little grin tugging at her lips as all eyes shifted to her. “I think she should be Padding-ton Bear.”

The silence that followed was immediate and heavy. Van’s face fell completely, her brow knitting as she stared at Mari in disbelief, her jaw tight.

“Mar.” Their tone was sharp, but not cruel. “That was not a nice thing to say, and it certainly wasn’t funny. Especially when you know exactly what you’re wearing under your own clothes.” Van’s voice softened at the end, their disappointment clear. “Don’t be mean to people if you don’t like being treated that way, remember?”

Mari shrank back in her seat, though the defiance in her face hadn’t fully melted yet. She hadn’t expected the joke to land so poorly, hadn’t expected Shauna’s reaction. At least, not until a soft, broken cry came from Jackie’s chest.

Jackie immediately drew Shauna closer, rubbing her back and bouncing her gently in her lap. The little one pressed her face into Jackie’s sweater, muffling her tears, her small body shaking. Jackie’s chest ached at the sound of it, her jaw tightening as she rocked her softly.

Mari’s grin fell instantly, her eyes widening. She hadn’t meant for that, she thought Shauna would snap back at her like usual, toss a biting remark. But watching her cry, watching Jackie soothe her so tenderly, made her face drop.

“See what happens when you aren’t nice?” Taissa added firmly, crossing her arms as she gave Mari a disappointed look.

“I didn’t… I thought…” Mari stammered, her voice unsteady now as she glanced toward Jackie almost desperately, searching for some way to make it right.

Jackie only shook her head, still focused on rubbing Shauna’s back. “I know, hon. You can apologize when Shauna is feeling a bit better, okay?”

Jackie knew that Mari wasn’t a bad kid. She just had a knack for sticking her nose where it didn’t belong, and she liked to tease, but it was clear that she hadn’t meant to upset Shauna. She understood that much.

Mari nodded quickly, almost gratefully. She hated when Jackie was mad at her, worse when she felt she’d truly let her down. She hadn’t realized this wasn’t just like their usual banter, not when Shauna wasn’t in the headspace to spar back. For the first time that night, Mari really did feel bad. And she would apologize, even if it took a while for Shauna to hear it.

Mari had long since lost interest in her dinner, her plate pushed halfway aside as she slouched in her chair. She suckled almost remorsefully on the spout of her sippy cup, her lips pressed tight around it, not even caring about the peach juice inside. It wasn’t about the drink anymore, just something to keep her mouth busy while guilt sat heavy in her chest.

Shauna, meanwhile, was still having such a hard time calming down. Her little cries kept stuttering up through her chest no matter how tightly she tried to push them into her blanket, the small hiccups breaking Jackie’s heart. Jackie shifted her gently, turning her in her arms so she was facing her instead of curled inward. She gathered Shauna close against her chest, the girl’s face burying quickly into her shoulder as if hiding could make it all disappear.

“Shh,” Jackie whispered, her palm rubbing slow circles against Shauna’s diapered bottom while she swayed in the chair, rocking her like she was smaller than she even felt. “Mama’s right here, baby.” Her voice was soft, steady, that same soothing cadence she always fell into when Shauna was like this.

Shauna only whimpered, muffling herself deeper into her blankie. The poor thing was damp at the edges now from her tears, the fuzz sticking to her cheeks as she forced each hiccup and cry into it. Jackie could feel the way her breaths came too fast, shaky and uneven, her whole body tight like a little knot against her chest.

Jackie sighed, kissing the top of her head before glancing over the table, her eyes landing on Taissa. There was a silent plea in her eyes, help me, just this once, and her voice cracked faintly with how quickly she asked, “Could you make a bottle? Please? I need to get her in bed.”

She was already half-standing as she said it, Shauna clinging tighter to her as if she was afraid of being put down. Jackie rubbed her back and rocked her a little as she took a step backward, Shauna’s whimpers spilling against her neck.

And of course, Taissa didn’t hesitate. She gave Jackie a firm nod, shooing her off gently with a small smile, trying to keep things light. “Go, Jacks. I’ll bring it up as soon as it’s ready.”

That was all Jackie needed. She turned on her heels almost immediately, her arms tightening securely around Shauna as she carried her quickly up the stairs before she could get too worked up again. Each step was deliberate, her sway never stopping, her cheek resting against Shauna’s hair until they were back in the safety of their room.

Jackie laid her little one down carefully on the comforter, tucking the blanket close around her before reaching for the remote. She didn’t even make it two steps toward the TV before the first shaky little cries broke out behind her. Shauna’s tiny voice, muffled through her pacifier and blankie, carried that desperate note that made Jackie’s chest ache all over again.

“Shhh, baby. You’re okay,” Jackie murmured as she quickly turned back, setting up Winnie the Pooh on the television with a few quick clicks before sliding onto the bed beside her.

She propped herself up on her elbow so she could stay close, her other hand smoothing over Shauna’s chest in long, careful strokes. The steady pressure helped guide the girl’s breathing back down from its panicked rhythm. Jackie leaned close, her words brushing against Shauna’s hair. “My poor little girl, so sleepy, hm? I know, baby. Mama’s got you.”

Shauna’s little body relaxed by degrees under the touch, her soft, uneven breaths beginning to match the slow rub of Jackie’s palm, the flicker of the TV casting a warm, steady glow over them both.

After a little while of silence, Jackie had settled into a rhythm, Shauna curled up securely in her lap, her small body draped across Jackie’s chest like she belonged nowhere else. The flicker of the television played across her tired face, her eyes barely open, lids heavy as if they couldn’t decide whether to keep fighting or just give in to the pull of sleep. Jackie rocked her slowly, her arms firm but gentle, her cheek pressed to Shauna’s hair as the girl suckled faintly on her pacifier, each soft breath ghosting warm against Jackie’s skin.

The quiet was broken by a soft knock at the door. Jackie’s head lifted, brows drawn at first, until she spotted the familiar frame leaning against the doorframe. Taissa, holding one of Shauna’s bottles carefully in hand, like it was something delicate and important. And beside her, just a little behind, almost as though she wanted to disappear into Tai’s side, was Mari. The girl’s hand was tucked tightly into Tai’s, her posture awkward, small, her eyes low as though she wasn’t sure she should even be there.

“We come bearing apologies,” Tai hummed softly, her voice light, but carrying enough warmth that Jackie felt her chest ease. A little smile ghosted across her lips as Tai lifted the bottle just slightly, “and milk.”

Jackie gave a small nod, shifting Shauna up against her shoulder as Tai stepped inside. The quiet padding of her steps filled the room, and after a small pause, she perched herself on the edge of the bed in front of Jackie. She gave Mari’s hand a gentle squeeze, tilting her head in silent encouragement.

Mari hesitated, but after a breath she climbed up carefully, settling on her knees at the edge of the mattress. She didn’t say anything, just watched with wide eyes as Jackie took Shauna’s pacifier from her lips, slipping it into her lap, and nestled the familiar bottle in its place.

Shauna accepted it without even thinking, her lips closing around the teat in instinct. The first slow pull drew the softest hum from her throat, her lashes fluttering as her body fully melted back into Jackie’s hold.

Mari blinked, her little hands folded awkwardly in her lap as she stared. She’d never seen Shauna like this before, not really. Not soft, not this quiet, not with her whole body relaxed like she didn’t have to hold herself together. Normally Shauna snapped back at her, teased her just as quickly, or carried herself like she didn’t need anyone’s help. She was sharp, independent, always keeping her edges up.

But right now… Shauna wasn’t sharp at all. She wasn’t cutting or distant. She was small, her cheeks pink and damp, her eyes heavy with exhaustion, her mouth moving lazily at the bottle in Jackie’s hands.

For the first time, Mari understood. Shauna wasn’t being a baby the way she’d teased her about at dinner. She was a baby, but in a way that made sense, gentle, tired, soft. And not in a way that was wrong or embarrassing, but in a way that just was.

“Can I…” Mari started, her voice small, hesitant, like it might crumble if she spoke too loud. Her eyes darted from Shauna’s sleepy face, her lips still slowly working around the bottle, to Tai’s steady, encouraging expression. Finally, she glanced up at Jackie, who was watching her with that patient, open look that never seemed to rush or scold. “Can I apologize now? Before she goes t’sleep?” she asked, almost nervously. She’d clearly noticed the way Shauna was already half gone, her breaths slow, her eyes fluttering shut between pulls of warm milk.

“Of course, sweetheart.” Jackie nodded, her smile gentle and proud, though she kept her voice hushed, so as not to jar the baby in her lap. She gave Mari the space she needed, watching her scoot closer, slow and careful, until she was near enough to peer over Shauna without crowding her.

“Hi,” Mari whispered, almost comically soft, as though she really believed she had to whisper to babies. Her eyes flicked to Shauna’s face and then down to her own lap, her fingers twisting in the hem of her shirt. “Um… I’m sorry I was mean to you at dinner. I didn’t mean to make you sad, or cry. And, and I don’t think you’re a baby.” She stopped, fumbling a little before blurting the rest in a rush. “And I think your costume idea is silly. Natty told us what it was, and I-”

“Okay, okay,” Tai cut in with a quiet laugh, her palm patting Mari’s back like she was smoothing down ruffled feathers. “I think she gets it, bub. That was good. Really good.” She gently tugged Mari back just enough to ease her nerves, keeping the smaller girl balanced on her knees.

Shauna’s lashes fluttered at the sound, her eyes opening in tiny, fleeting blinks. A little coo slipped past the bottle teat, like she was trying to say something in response but couldn’t quite hold onto the thought long enough to form it. Her body relaxed again almost immediately, heavy against Jackie’s chest.

“That was a very nice apology, Mar.” Jackie hummed approvingly, leaning to press a faint kiss into Shauna’s hair before carefully swapping the nearly empty bottle for her pacifier. She slipped the soother between her lips with practiced ease, smiling as Shauna latched without even opening her eyes.

“Why don’t you show Aunt Jackie what we chose for bed tonight?” Tai suggested after a moment, her voice holding a playful lilt that made Mari’s whole face warm.

Mari’s cheeks flared crimson. “Do I have to?” she whispered, already wriggling like she wanted to disappear into the blankets.

“Just a quick peek,” Tai teased gently, brushing her thumb over the girl’s hand.

With a reluctant little sigh, Mari rose higher onto her knees. Tai helped, lifting the hem of her sleep shirt just enough to reveal the distinct crinkle peeking from her waistband, the soft white printed with faint pink shapes across the front.

“Oh, wow!” Jackie cooed, the words full of exaggerated delight, clearly meant to tease but never to hurt. “How do you feel?”

Mari ducked her head, her ears as red as her cheeks. “Comfy… sorta,” she admitted shyly, tugging the shirt back down as quickly as she could. Her fingers fidgeted in her lap, eyes fixed on them instead of either of the older girls.

Jackie’s expression softened at once. She knew Mari had been put into a diaper instead of her usual bedtime pull-up, an obvious punishment for her sharp tongue at dinner, but instead of pointing that out, she just let the teasing note fade, leaving only reassurance in her smile.

Silence sat warmly between them for a beat, broken only by Shauna’s faint, steady suckling.

“We should probably head to bed, huh? And let Shauna get some rest.” Tai finally said, rising smoothly to her feet. She extended her hands toward Mari, who didn’t hesitate this time. She leaned forward, letting herself be gathered up onto Tai’s hip in one practiced swoop, her arms wrapping around Tai’s neck as if the contact settled her nerves.

Jackie exhaled softly as the door eased shut again, pressing her palm protectively over Shauna’s back as the little one stirred faintly in her arms.

“Alright, little bear. Let’s get you comfy.” She whispered, maneuvering Shauna to her side of the bed as carefully as she could. Thankfully, she was practically asleep by then, and barely even noticed being laid down by herself. She offered one soft whine before she was hushed, her face softening and her breathing shallowing.

Jackie pulled the covers up to Shauna’s chest, smoothing them out before tucking her blankie carefully under her chin, letting the fuzzy edge brush her lips the way she liked best. “Sweet dreams, my girl.” Her hand lingered against Shauna’s cheek for just a moment, brushing over the soft skin that was still a little warm from her earlier tears, her thumb idly tracing along her jaw until Shauna’s expression settled into something even gentler.

After making sure that Shauna was comfortable and had everything she needed, Jackie flipped off the television, letting the soft quiet of the room settle around them. She checked that the nightlight was casting its gentle glow across the walls, that the shadows looked safe, not frightening, and finally, she slipped under the blankets herself.

She didn’t close her eyes yet, she couldn’t, not with how soft Shauna looked right then. She lay on her back, watching her chest rise and fall in slow, steady rhythm, so small and peaceful, her pacifier bobbing faintly with each breath. Jackie’s chest swelled at the sight, her heart aching in the kind of way that only came from love so deep it hurt. All she could think, as her eyes started to grow heavier, was how much she adored this girl, how precious and unique and beautiful she was, and how lucky Jackie felt to be the one who got to love her this way, in all ways.

By the time her own breathing slowed, Shauna had shifted in her sleep, instinctively curling into Jackie’s side, her head tucked under her chin like she always belonged there. Jackie pressed a tired little kiss to the top of her hair, and with that last gesture, her eyes finally closed. Sleep found her quickly, contentment flooding every part of her, the weight of the day dissolving into something soft and safe.

For all the chaos, for all the tears and fights and apologies, this was how it ended, the two of them curled up together, warm, safe, and closer than ever.

It isn’t supposed to happen this way.

It isn’t supposed to happen at all, is all Jackie can think as she pulls at her bottom lip as she opens the door.

On the other side, Lottie is standing in front of her. She doesn’t look angry - she never does. But she looks confused. Firm. It’s a look that takes Jackie right back to the time when she was six and got in trouble with her favorite teacher for the first time. The guilt had eaten away at her for the rest of the week.

Glancing at her friend, Jackie resists the urge to slip her thumb into her mouth. Instead, she shifts her weight between her heels and tries to think about something else. Anything else. But it all comes up empty. And when Lottie puts a soft hand on her upper arm - Jackie can’t help but whimper in protest.

It’s just that - it should be soothing. Normally it is. But right now, Jackie’s chest is so tight and the world feels so big. All she wants is to squirm away, slam the door, and hide again.

“Jax… what’s going on? What is it?” Lottie asks. Her voice is soft. Quiet. Just like always.

Still, Jackie doesn’t respond. She knows she needs to; she’s just spent the past half hour hiding in the bathroom after snapping at everyone in the hotel when they started going over sleeping arrangements. But she can feel the tears springing back to her eyes - if they ever really left - and they’re burning within her. They twist in her throat the way they had before and for a split second, Jackie thinks she really might try to hide again. She could lock the door and cover her ears because at least once Lottie’s on the other side, she can pretend she isn’t being perceived anymore.

“Are you feeling small?” Lottie asks.

Jackie nods, the motion out of her control. She hates herself for it, just like she hates herself for forgetting Luna Bunny. But neither of those things are in her control now.

“Sweetie…” Lottie coos.

Jackie whimpers quietly at the acknowledgement. She pulls her hand away from her lips and wraps her arms around herself. She doesn’t trust herself to keep her fingers out of her mouth and she doesn’t feel strong enough to stand like a big girl.

But she needs to, Jackie reminds herself. Nat is sitting on the bed and she can’t be little in front of Nat.

“Do you want to come sit with me?” Lottie asks. “We can read for a bit before we sleep.”

Jackie shakes her head. She holds herself even tighter and looks down at her feet.

“Can’t sleep.”

“Why not?”

Jackie shrugs. She can feel Lottie’s eyes on her - expectant as they are caring. And still, Jackie can’t bring herself to say it. The whole thing is just so pathetic. It’s just a stuffed bunny - she shouldn’t need it the way that she does. She shouldn’t still feel like such a baby.

But she does. And she is.

She’s three hours away from home at a hotel in Connecticut and she should be focusing on their soccer game in the morning - the game they’ve spent weeks preparing for. Yet the only thing Jackie can think about is her pink bunny with the strawberry ears. The bunny that must be sitting on her bed where she’d left her this morning - too wrapped up in last minute packing to remember to grab her too.

“Jack?” Lottie presses. “What’s going on?”

“I forgot Luna,” Jackie whispers, her voice cracking at the confession. “She’s at home and I’m not and I’m gonna be awake forever.”

“Oh, baby…” Lottie rubs Jackie’s arm once more before pulling her in for a hug.

Jackie wants to resist it; Nat’s still sitting a few feet away and if Jackie didn’t look like a baby before, she certainly does now. But Lottie’s embrace is so warm and so sturdy. Jackie can’t help the way she falls into it - the motion easy and familiar - just like always.

“Shauna might-”

“No.” Jackie shakes her head and nuzzles her face in the crook of Lottie’s neck. Shauna had yelled at her this morning over another miscommunication and Jackie still doesn’t know what to do with that. All she knows is that Shauna's anger feels so heavy and confusing in her chest. It’s sticky like molasses that trap her within them. The harder Jackie tries to peel away from the stringy pieces, the more they seem to tighten their hold.

“Okay,” Lottie says. “Why don’t you come sit with Nat and I? On the big bed?”

Jackie shakes her head again.

“No,” she says. “Can’t see.”

“I know… I know that it’s scary,” Lottie says. Jackie sinks into her. Her fingers twist around the fabric of her pajama shirt as Lottie rubs soothing circles against her back. “But Nat won’t judge, I promise. She just… she gets it.”

Jackie sniffs.

“How do you know?”

“Because she’s seen it with me too.”

—-

Jackie peers over Lottie’s shoulder, squeezing her hand as she stands behind the taller girl. She gives an explanation to Nat using terms that Jackie doesn’t quite register, saying something about how she isn’t sick but she isn’t feeling well either. She’s feeling different… feeling younger and needs something else right now.

Support, Jackie thinks. That must’ve been the word Lottie used.

“Shit… I’m sorry, Jax,” Nat says. She gives a small smile from where she sits, relaxed on the big bed, and puts down her gameboy. “That really sucks.”

Jackie nods. She swallows the lump in her throat and presses her forehead into the back of Lottie’s shoulder. She wishes she could just disappear. The tears are burning through her again and her stomach feels knotted like a pretzel.

It’s all just so painfully unfair, she thinks. Nat is the coolest girl on the entire team - maybe in the whole world - and here Jackie is, crying like a stupid little baby over her stuffed bunny.

“I uh, I got some Twizzlers when we stopped at the gas station in Newark,” Nat says. “I still have some if you want?”

Jackie sniffs, lifting her head just a bit. It’s enough for her to see that Nat is smiling at her. It isn’t the kind of mocking smile she’d expected, rather one that reminds her of Lottie’s. One that feels real.

After a moment, Jackie manages to step out from behind her friend, but keeps a firm grasp on her hand just in case. She watches as Nat scrambles to grab the candy from the drawer in the nightstand, then pops back up with the open package.

“I hid it when everyone else was in here,” she explains. “Can’t trust anyone. Especially Lottie.”

Lottie scoffs and rolls her eyes, which is enough to get Jackie smiling - even if just slightly. When she feels Lottie give her a push, she lets herself climb up onto the bed beside Nat. She takes a Twizzler then another for Lottie, handing it to her before making room for her too.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad with the two of them.

—-

“So… what happened?” Nat asks.

They’re sitting alone after Lottie went out to the Mexican Restaurant across the street to bring back a late dinner.

“If you want to tell me, obviously. I just like… I don’t know, figured something must’ve been going on.”

Jackie shrugs and tucks her knees into her chest. She picks at a pill on her pajama pants, pretending it’s the most fascinating thing in the world as she avoids Nat’s gaze.

“It’s not a big deal,” Jackie says. “I just… I have this stuffed bunny and normally it comes everywhere with me but I uh, I forgot it at home. It’s dumb.”

There’s a moment of silence before Nat gives a simple:

“Oh.”

Jackie looks at her.

“That’s not dumb.”

“It isn’t?” Jackie laughs - more at herself than anything else.

“No,” Nat says. “Not if it means something to you.”

Jackie nods, mustering a small smile.

“Hey - give me a second, I’ll be right back.”

Without an explanation, Nat hops off the bed. She runs into the bathroom but leaves the door open. Curious, Jackie tilts her head so she can watch as Nat rummages around with a hand towel. She mumbles to herself as she works - the occasional swear slipping out which makes Jackie want to laugh. Somehow, she manages to stifle it until Nat’s done.

She turns around, towel behind her back, and approaches Jackie with a cheesy grin. It shows her dimples by her cheeks (Jackie hadn’t even realized Nat had dimples) and little creases by her eyes.

“If you tell anyone I did this, I’ll insist you’re lying,” Nat says. Before Jackie can even ask what this is - Nat removes the towel from behind her back.

Except - it isn’t a towel anymore. It’s a bunny.

Nat’s tied it off with rubber bands to have floppy ears and a little head. It’s the sweetest, most precious thing Jackie has ever seen - a hotel linen turned into a careful recreation of her biggest comfort.

“It’s for you,” Nat says.

Jackie just stares in amazement as she carefully accepts the little creature.

“For me?”

Nat nods.

“Yeah, until you get your bunny back. You can take care of this one.”

Jackie smiles softly, fingers tightening around the bunny. After a moment, she allows herself to hold it to her chest and glance back at Nat.

“I make little things for the kids in the trailer park,” Nat explains. “They don’t always have the best toys.”

“Oh…” Jackie breathes. Thinking about that makes her whole meltdown feel pretty silly, but she tries not to let herself linger on it. “That’s really kind of you.”

Nat shrugs. “I just do what I can.”

—-