Existential Orgasm

There’s red on the ceiling and red on the floor, red dripping from the window sills and red globules splattered across the walls. It looks like the artist Anish Kapoor has been let loose with his wax cannon again. But this, in fact, is what the making of Christmas looks like; this is the very heart of the real Santa’s workshop – thousands of miles from the North Pole, in the Chinese city of Yiwu.

Our yuletide myth-making might like to imagine that Christmas is made by rosy-cheeked elves hammering away in a snow-bound log cabin somewhere in the Arctic Circle. But it’s not. The likelihood is that most of those baubles, tinsel and flashing LED lights you’ve draped liberally around your house came from Yiwu, 300km south of Shanghai – where there’s not a (real) pine tree nor (natural) snowflake in sight.

Christened “China’s Christmas village”, Yiwu is home to 600 factories that collectively churn out over 60% of all the world’s Christmas decorations and accessories, from glowing fibre-optic trees to felt Santa hats. The “elves” that staff these factories are mainly migrant labourers, working 12 hours a day for a maximum of £200 to £300 a month – and it turns out they’re not entirely sure what Christmas is.

BDSM is so much more than sadism or masochism. If you don’t like pain, you don’t have to include it in any of your relationships or in any of your play. Not including pain doesn’t mean you are ‘doing it wrong’ – you’re simply doing it whatever way works for you. And that’s awesome.

Some example relationships that don’t need S&M:

- pet and Handler / Owner / Trainer

- little and Babysitter / Daddy / Mommy

- servant and Master / Lord / Lady

- primal prey and Alpha / Predator  

- doll and Maker / Owner / Master

- slut / whore and Sir / Master / Owner

- submissive and Sir / Master / Owner  

- student and Teacher / Headmaster / Professor

Some examples of play that don’t need S&M:  

- bootblacking

- cigar / tea / drink service

- housekeeping

- bondage

- breathplay

- watersports

- sensory deprivation

- sensation play

- mindfucks   

- erotic massage

- human furniture 

- humiliation 

- leashing, caging 

Beautiful vintage 1930’s Cara Mia heart and arrow powder compact.

☆Aries: Do your best to compromise with whatever unexpected curve balls might get thrown in your way. Figure out which ideas are worth investing in and which ones to abandon.

☆Taurus: Focus on your emotional needs. Make sure to find a healthy outlet for pent up stress.

☆Gemini: Be mindful of the way your respond to certain circumstances. Learn how to receive criticism with patience, grace, and understanding.

☆Cancer: Stop giving attention to people who don’t match your energy. Don’t bite off more than you can chew. Only take on what you can handle and know you tried your best.

☆Leo: Don’t burn your bridges with someone, especially over a different in opinion. Try to believe in yourself more and give yourself the chance to be your own hero.

☆Virgo: Break free from your same old routines and tap into your creativity. Make good on all your debts, it’s time to free yourself from heavy emotional baggage.

☆Libra: Don’t let anything stand in the way of your own happiness, you have the power to design your destiny. Do something just for you. You often have tons of commitments that aren’t always for you, so find time to try a new hobby or pick up an old one.

☆Scorpio: Start being more honest with yourself and with the people around you. Learn to accept yourself before you decide to jump into the next relationship. Don’t bring your old problems into the new year.

☆Sagittarius: Start prioritizing the people that matter the most. Having tons of acquaintances is great until you realize that they won’t be there through thick and thin. Expand your network, but find time for the people who have your best interest at heart.

☆Capricorn: Stay ahead of the game and don’t let outside influences distract you. Pick a place you’ve been dying to visit and make plans to go. You’ll come back feeling refreshed with memories you’ll never forget.

☆Aquarius: Take a step back from social media. Be more vulnerable and let go of the tough act. Nobody is going to read your mind so let them know how you feel.

Aries: you’re about to find yourself. it’s about to be hard, scary, and it almost might seem unbearable. you’re going to reach new highs that you’ve never thought you would, and maybe some new lows that will rock you. but, you’re about to find positivity within all the moments that you have. you’re about to understand yourself and your limits more than ever. you’re going to realize that all the strength you’ve ever needed was always inside of you. all of it was fucking worth it, you’re going to feel all of this.

Taurus: you are going to be in a huge transition period this year. you’re going to find immense change in your own world. it might scare you to your core, but it’s exactly what you needed. new things and new people and a new life. most of all, a totally new perspective. you’re going to open your eyes to so many things and you’re going to realize that things weren’t what you always thought they were… they’re better.

Gemini: you are about to feel free. you’re about to go through a year of letting go. you’re going to let go of people who caused you pain in the past, you’re going to let go of shit that messed you up. you’re going to realize that moving forward is the best thing you can do for yourself. you’ll find things that you enjoy doing again this year. you are going to get out of that fog, but don’t completely cross out what brought you here. it’s still a part of you.

Cancer: what a curse it is, to feel so very deeply. oh, but it is also a blessing. this year is going to give you many awakenings. you’re going to use your empathy to your advantage, you’re going to make a change in many peoples lives. seeing someone so authentic like you, gives other people hope that they can open up too, just like you. you’re going to use the things you find the most unappealing about yourself to help other people. it may seem small to you when it happens, but it’s huge. this, for you, is going to be very fulfilling. don’t forget yourself in the process, but remember that what you’re doing is important.

Leo: in 2018, you were lost. you might’ve hit your breaking point and you might’ve thought there was nothing left in you. however, you were just getting started. this year, you will find your fire again. you’ll stand up taller than you ever have and you’ll roar louder than ever. this year, you’re going to learn that you are stronger than you ever believed yourself to be. you’re going to find your confidence again, you’re going to take on this life thing on your own and make it your absolute bitch. the people who left, don’t matter. you’re not going to let them affect you any longer. you’re going to figure out who was always meant to be by your side.

Virgo: this year, positivity is going to be your best friend. you’re so used to things going wrong or not going your way, that you’ve conditioned yourself to think about the worst possible outcomes. but, what if thinking differently was actually the key to everything? you have the power to change your own mindset, and this year, whether you believe it or not, it’s going to happen. you’re going to be so caught up in living life and being busy that suddenly you’ll realize that you aren’t so afraid of being happy anymore. you will flourish, you will get the things you want. all you have to do is keep on believing.

Libra: your worth is greater and bigger than what you think. this year, you’re going to realize this. at some point, you’re going to look at your life and how you let people take advantage of you and you’re finally going to say “no more.” you are wonderful and capable and worthy of all the things you want. you just have to see it for yourself, you have to see that your life should not be lived based on making people happy that wouldn’t do the same for you. it’s going to be an awakening for you, but it’s going to be beautiful.

Scorpio: you are in the midst of chaos right now. you’re thinking that life is always going to be this whirlwind of emotions and that nothing will ever settle down. this year, you’ll find your safe place. the one you can run to when things are going bad. whether that place be an actual place, a hobby, or even a person. it’s going to bring you peace like you’ve never felt before. remember to hold onto it. you’re going to finally let go of that wall you’ve been holding up forever, don’t be alarmed when it comes crashing down. it’s going to be natural.

Sagittarius: what a year you’re going to have. first and most importantly, pure love is in store. this doesn’t have to mean romantic love, but it sure is a possibility. you’ve been holding back for quite some time when it comes to opening up your heart, but thats going to change now. secondly, when you find this love, you’re going to be faced with your natural instinct, which is to run. when this happens, don’t run. you’ll be missing out on a happiness that you haven’t felt before. learning to open up is one of the most important lessons you’ll learn in this life, you have to let it come.

Capricorn: this year, you’re going to end cutting out people and things that don’t make you happy. this is pure self care and the first step to putting yourself first. you tend to not put your needs first too often. you’re no longer going to let everyone walk all over you. you do everything for other people, and this year will be your selfish year. when you find yourself feeling bad about it, don’t. this is the start of something that always needed to happen, and you’ll find yourself much more peaceful if you run with it.

Aquarius: who you are now, might be a stranger by the end of 2019. but doesn’t it always go that way? maybe, but it’s going to be different from what you imagine. you’re going to become stable in who you are. you’re going to suddenly have an understanding of your place in the world, perhaps you might find your purpose. it’s going to come so fast and naturally, that you’re going to question what your world was before this reason for living came along. remember that this is happening for a reason, you are meant to do great things and you’re about to see what all of this means.