From Over Here

#i'm losing my SHIT#would you like to not see a dog?#it's brown Thank you, @dreamwaffles, that's it EXACTLY 😂

People are like “it’s so beautiful no clouds at all” it could use a little clouds if I had to be honest.

the problem with being a person is that it's all the time

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)

*gets back to the nest* baby you are NEVER gonna believe how i got this fish

my summer plans consist of unclenching my jaw + forgiving myself

I love this, because there’s obviously something very clever going on to analyse patterns of language, but it’s also profoundly ignorant.

[ID: A screenshot of a Grammarly correction, labelled “clarity: conciseness”. The original text reads “Every book, which wasn’t many…” This is crossed out with the suggestion “Everyn’t many book” and the note “Consider shortening this phrase.” /end id]

Story time: this reminds me of some kids in an English class I’m in. They were doing written work and the teacher and I were going around checking their work. They had to do like, “do/do not”, and one example was “prepare”. Something like “My father does not/doesn’t prepare dinner”. I look at this one kid’s paper and this galaxy-brained child had written “My father preparen’t dinner” and it took everything in me to not lose it laughing right there like. This child saw a pattern and ran with it and I respect that.

Reminds me of that post on how Irish(?) doesn’t have a way to use “yes” or “no” to answer a verb question, or something like that, so that if somebody asks if you murdered somebody you can’t say “yes” or “no,” you have to say “I did murder” or “I didn’t murder,” which led my brain to produce the negative verb “murdidn’t.”

In the spirit of this post: *shouldn’t’ve hidden it in the tags. 😂