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#REAL LEAKS

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2 years ago, we released POKéMON FLUX: Episode One for PC and Mac. Since then, we have been hard at work on Episode Two, which continues the player's adventure across Altera, where they will encounter new Pokémon, characters and challenges!

We know many of you are eager for an update on the status of the game, and we're ready to share some more details. Beginning with some new Pokémon and characters...

The Shrieking Pokémon, Amperincus! [ghost/electric]

“A ghostly pterosaur Pokémon that resurrected from extinction. Its loud sounds and jittery motions make it highly unpredictable.”

Amperincus is the partner Pokémon of a mysterious girl the player meets in the desert. With a helmet that covers her face, it’s difficult to get a read on her. Is she a friend, or foe?

Meet Alteran Meowth and its evolution Purrchance! [steel/dark]

These crafty cats are thought to bring good luck to gamblers. But if their trainer loses too much, they may choose to leave of their own accord!

Go head-to-head with other players in battles online! Test your skills in standard battle formats, or try out the all-new, asymmetrical Online Alter Battles! One player controls the powerful boss Pokémon, and the other takes them on!

Finally, an update on development progress... As of now, the critical path of Episode 2's story has been implemented. We are adding more content, visuals, fixing bugs, and balancing gameplay before release!

Normal: Most normal types are pretty fuckable, but like... c'mon, how many of them are gonna blow your mind? Snorlax? Arceus? Melotta? There's plenty of good lovers, but not many great ones. 7/10.

Fire: A collection of the most fuckable pokemon, arranged for your pleasure. From Cinderace to Arcanine to Volcarona to Magcargo, there's something for everyone. One point deducted because you will get burned somewhere sensitive. 9/10.

Water: There's just not that much to say about water. There's a few very good options, a few very bad ones, but mostly just a lot of boring ones. Honestly I'm taking two points off for the vaporeon memes. 3/10.

Electric: Some fantastic options for you in Zebstrika and Luxray, with added points if you're into electrostim play. If you liked getting trained with a shock collar, you should become an electric type's pet. I'm not sure how you're going to fuck an Electrode or a Magneton, though. 7/10.

Grass: Tsareena! Grovyle! Ogerpon! Tangrowth! Surely, Grass must be the most fuckable type of all, right? Yeah, actually. With vine whip, a plethora of status moves, and a variety of diverse body types (looking at you, Victreebel!), Grass tops the charts, whether you're looking for a vanilla, humanoid type, or a mind-bending experience by a creature that drugs you out of your mind and oh my god i'm just talking about HDG god damn it. 10/10. Sadly.

Ice: Already a small group of pokemon, ice types rate pretty low on the fuckability scale in general, even before accounting for the sheer unpleasantness of the cold. Saved by Froslass being willing and able to freeze you in ice, and, presumably, do things to your unmoving body. 1/10.

Fighting: Okay here's your next task; go to the nearest gym that offers a kickboxing class and start giving your number to everyone who walks out of it. Functionally the same experience as hooking up with a fighting-type. A good lay, but nothing special. 4/10

Poison: With pokemon like Salazzle, Tentacruel, and the Nidoran line, you might think that poison deserves a pretty high rating. Wrong! All of the most fuckable pokemon in the typing are dual-typed with another, more interesting type. They get a little credit for having Poison Fang and Poison Jab for people who are into intox play. 3/10.

Ground: Great Tusk, Mudsdale, Hippowdon... A great type if you like being overpowered and enveloped, but not too much else going for it, and not much variety. 5/10. Middle of the road.

Flying: Well. It's not BAD. But you're dealing with a lot of dual-typed pokemon. At least you've got the Forces of Nature, they're literally therians. 2/10.

Psychic: You do not fuck the psychic type pokemon. The psychic type pokemon fuck you. Every single one of them up to and including Wobbufett is capable of ruining sex with anyone else for you. 10/10. 15/10. I'm not being mind-controlled to write this, I promise. But, hypothetically, if I was, it would be a 20/10

Bug: Honestly, the main downside to the bug type is that they don't have ovipositors, as far as we know. We can still hope, though... There are plenty of misses in the bug type, but if you're into it then you'll find plenty to be happy with. Even if you're not into it, there's plenty that will give you a good time. 8/10.

Rock: Lycanrocs have been known to bite and convert unwitting trainers. Nihilego can take over minds. Geodude is a rock. Plenty of decent options in Rampardos, Terrakion, and Tyrantrum, but plenty of ??? options like Corsola. 8/10, surprisingly, but there are some real standouts carrying the typing. (Call me, Diancie!)

Ghost: A lot of overlap with the appeal of psychic-types, just worse at it. Some really strong standouts with Hisuian Typhlosion, Cofagrigus, and Spectrier, but also- wait, shit, Hisuian Zoroark is there. 9/10.

Dragon: I'm not entertaining this discussion. It's 10/10 or higher. Shut up. 30/10. Leave me alone. I'm strapping you to the belly of a Salamance. I'm calling a Goodra with a dinner bell. They're the most fuckable category and it's not even close. Latios, Latias, and Necrozma are the only Dragon/Psychic types, which is a relief, since if there was a non-legendary one then humanity would be their pets.

Dark: Honestly a lot more consistently fuckable than you'd think. Mightyena, Houndoom, Thievul, Liepard, Hoopa, Urshifu, Sableye, and so on and so on and so on. Can't justify anything less than a 10/10.

Steel: Steel type is mostly useful for making other types more attractive; it's a surefire way to make a dragon, or a fairy, or a psychic-type even more attractive. That said, there are a few good options within the metal typing; Melmetal, Skarmory, Corviknight, to name a few. Lots of points lost for being best as added spice, but points granted for having a few really strong contenders. 4/10

johto pokemon vs pokemon from new york

bonus: that phenomenon where japanese tourists visit paris and have a breakdown bc of how shit it is

you’re in the pocket of Big Ball, I see

there’s no pocket for me to BE in, there’s no LOBBYING involved, there’s no SUPPRESSION campaign because you don’t need one! traditional methods suppress themselves when you make modern pokéballs available. you might as well start accusing AT&T of deliberately suppressing the noble traditional art form of the goddamn semaphore.

not to mention OP demonstrates a total lack of understanding of the market realities of the pokéball industry- Silph and Devon are not monopolies, if they weren’t in constant competition their magic monster domination spheres wouldn’t cost two bucks a pop. the ball spec is a public standard, and Bill Masaki’s storage system based on that standard is an open-source project. they’re only the two largest players because they’re able to leverage economies of scale. you still get smaller operations like the Laverre City Poké Ball Factory, with better regional supply chains and local brand recognition, making room for themselves in the market. 

That notion was, and remains, a tool to limit general access to Pokémon in the interest of maintaining class disparities. I mean, have we already forgotten the Aether Foundation’s pseudo-conservationist nonsense? Their attempt to manipulate natural resources and establish a power base in Alola, while they were modernizing and taking their place on the world stage, was founded on this exact rhetoric of “rescuing” Pokémon from local disenfranchised populations, as if taking Pokémon away from places like Po Town would improve things instead of increasing competition between trainers and decreasing safety.

The release of the $2 pokeball meant that the balance of power shifted to the common citizens. If any child can wield the power of a god, the military and the government and the wealthiest businessmen have no power over them.

More than that, instead of power being determined by the wealth to acquire pokemon, power comes exclusively from the dedication, effort, and empathy required to train them to high levels and to maintain their loyalty. If a person simply buys their pokemon, then those pokemon will either stay at low levels forever, or refuse to obey the human because there is no respect between them; the most powerful people in the world are those who caught a critter at level 2-5 and then devoted their life to raising it into a world power.

Happy Pokemon day!! If youre a johto starter you either get isekai’d or become french

spin this wheel to see your pokemon type

spin this one to see how you'll look like