Deliriously Living

I have questions

To get to the other side

death of a bachelor is a good song

it’s a song about a dude being fucking stoked to marry his fiance and poking fun at the ‘marriage is the end right fellas’ culture by saying ‘guess ill die then! worth it!’ and i think that’s neat

i wanna go see detective pikachu this week but also our local theater has a mouse problem and i know friends who’ve legitimately seen mice climbing the theater walls and sitting on the sound boxes during shows and the thought of that makes me want to die

I made you a cookie but I…God, I’m so sorry. This is so difficult to say. There’s no point in lying to you. Please forgive me, but i fucking eated it. I’m so sorry.

im too much of a baby for tinder i wanna meet people the old fashioned way where we’re both on either side of a fish tank and notice each other thru the water… 

i am coming down off anesthesia and i have a great idea for a text post hold on

when someone asks you if you know the letter after F

Bugs Bunny could singlehandedly defeat Thanos by dressing up as a TSA agent and setting up a metal detector in the middle of the battlefield saying that all metal objects must be removed if you want to pass on through now stick around for my 2,000 word essay on just how effectively he would convince The Mad Titan to comply

I don’t think I’ve seen such a finely crafted Looney Toons joke in over two decades. Bravo.