my mom would be disappointed

Obi-Wan is like I got the kids in the divorce. They aren't even my kids. Or my divorce

happy birthday to all the queers I assume it just works like horse birthdays where they all turn a year older on Jan 1.

women! be difficult! be mean! they’re gonna hate you either way!

"they've had intercourse" "i know that i'm asking if they've kissed"

i have recently decided to shave my head. surprisingly good experience. have been given far more professional defference than i actually deserve as a result. but. slight hazard. my coworkers are very kind and they have insisted on complimenting my skull shape. they are very insistent that i have a very nicely shaped skull. this is a perplexing and mildly unsettling compliment. i feel like a hot twink at the gay phrenologist bar. a lot of people have walked up behind me and simply gripped my head like a bowling ball too, which i personally have enjoyed, but suspect the average person would not. also, unless i shave my head every day, it becomes surprisingly hard to take my hoodie/beanie/hat off. its like having my head wrapped in grip tape. overall 9/10 experience.

got a lovehate relationship with routine and repetition. yes if you put me in a repetitive situation i will start chewing on myself like a caged animal. but also no if you interrupt my self imposed routines i will start crying. this has made me so super good at being in the workforce #trust

imagine you have a movie with oscar isaac and john boyega and people fixate on adam driver instead. this actually happened

And in these next 50 years you will eat so many delicious meals, laugh so many times with so many people you love, shout and scream and sing and cry and smile so hard your face hurts. And you will see such beautiful sunsets and feel fresh cold air on your face and feel warm and safe wrapped up in your favourite winter coat.

I wrap this blessing around you like a shroud, so that no ill can find you, and every warmth is held close

But a reblog break indicates that time has passed.