death’s in love with us

“just hit it. you’re going to be fine.” you whisper at yourself once possum walked off and left you with the joint. you had never smoked weed before but the cute boy you met in town was an avid smoker you wanted to impress.

you took a big puff and inhaled deeply before coughing so hard you thought your throat flipped inside out. “oh shit you okay?” he stumbled over to you. clutching the joint between two fingers while you held back from gagging between each cough, you looked up at him and forced a nod. “can you just get me some water?” you squeaked out, swallowing your spit profusely to fight the cotton mouth. you began feeling the affect of the drug and you handed possum the joint and chugged the water he gave you.

he sat next to you and rubbed your back. “if you need to go home i can walk you.. it’s no big deal.” he whispered, watching your eyes squint and glaze over. “hmm? no i’m fine but i think i want to lay done.” you giggled awkwardly as you crawled onto his sleeping bag. “okay just let me know if you need anything.” he said, smiling though worry was still slowly bubbling up. “i think i just need a hug.” you asked and this was bold for you. you’ve never been able to flirt openly of make the first move in any sort of way. but you just didn’t want to speak and wanted to be held. apparently weed makes you settle down and relax your shoulders. possum nodded and crawled over to you.

you laid on his chest while he played with your hair. “can i tell you something?” you whispered, trying not to trip over your tongue. “what is it?” he switched to rubbing your back. “i’ve never smoked before today.” you giggled. “im glad my first time was with you though.. i could have easily freaked out when my throat started going numb after the coughing fit.” you melted into his chest. “i know, y/n.” he laughed so hard he had his hand over his stomach. “ why didn’t you say anything?” he asked taking deep breaths and looking down at you. “i wanted you to think i was cool.” you sighed.

“i’ve always thought you were cool.” he whispered. “really?” you remember every time you’d run into him, taking your clothes to the laundromat or going out for a walk and how shy you’d get around possum because yeah he was odd and got the occasional fixed stare he was sweet and funny and you enjoyed the way his brain worked. “yeah you could keep up with me and the weird shit i say. why do you think i asked you to hang out?.” his gaze glued to the cool sky.

you looked up at him and pressed a kiss to his lips. they were plush and tasted like weed but you loved the way he tasted. “i like you.. a lot.” you giggled uncontrollably. “i like you too.” he smiled but you were so dizzy you closed your eyes and rested on his chest. “maybe we’ll try edibles next time.” he laughed as he squeezed you to his chest tightly. “mhm.”