I think I understand why people tell you love comes when you least expect it.
Iām 23 years old, and Iāve yet to have anyone express any romantic interest in me. Iāve never gone on a date, kissed someone special, or even held hands. And it hurts. A lot. I am constantly thinking something is wrong about me that keeps people away. That Iām falling behind all my peers as I lack common experiences and milestones someone of my age should, at least according to society, have experienced already.
Maybe Iām really ugly and my friends pity me too much to tell me. Maybe Iām a terrible person and people are too scared to let me know. Maybe I smell weird or act too energetic or speak too loud.
But, I also think Iām too obsessed with love. I read romance books, I watch romance movies, I listen to romantic music. Yet, thereās a difference between appreciating love vs. becoming obsessed in all the ways you are lacking in it.
The people who say, āit comes when you least expect itā might be on to something.
Because in all the time Iāve spent wasted on crying over loneliness, it couldāve been time spent loving myself. Itās not giving up on love to let it go. Itās letting it go, so that when it finds you again, youāll be ready for it. One does not go out into a garden and wait for a singular flower to blossom, ignoring the rest of the opportunities around them in relentless pursuit of being desired.
So, I think itās time I let go of chasing love.
Because, as the poets say, itāll find me when I least expect it. And Iād rather spend my time in the present, enjoying my friends and the experiences Iām currently going through. Compared to sitting and waiting for a future that is unknown and unpromised. Sure, life could be better with a partner. But life can still be good with just me. I can still find new music, taste incredible food, make amazing memories with myself.
Then, if I ever get the opportunity to meet someone, Iāll have an abundance of life to share. And we can explore and continue growing together.
For so long, I considered myself unworthy of love, thinking I was not productive, perfect, or pretty enough for someone to desire. But I think in the chase for external validation of someone else, Iāve forgotten the parts of myself that are beautiful. Iāve forgotten that I donāt not have to prove my worth to feel love. I can just exist and that love will find me. I shouldnāt have to beg on my knees to have someone love me. I have friends, family, pets, and so much more.
But on top of that, I have myself. I can love myself. And I can love my life. And maybe one day, in all those small moments we deem unimportant, thats when Iāll meet someone. And that love can blossom, healthy and radient into something truly beautiful. And I wonāt have to worry about not being enough, because Iāll already be there. Because Iāve always been enough. And being single or lonely doesnāt impact my value as a human, but rather reminds me thereās still so much to explore.
So yes, while itās cheesy and repeated, I do think love will find you when you least expect it. And if it doesnāt, at least you still have an abundance of life to live through the time you spent cultivating it. Because your value is not tired to a person, your appearance, or your productivity. And we deserve to feel happy and loved in our lives, whether that comes from yourself depends entirely on you. So donāt wait to spend the next 50 years of your life hating yourself or wishing you were somewhere else or wishing you had someone else.














