PLATES OF DOOM

Anthony Finkelstein — Bad Academic Writing

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[Paul Kafasis](http://onefoottsunami.com/2014/02/19/death-pocket/): > Nestlé is [recalling](http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2014/02/19/hot-pockets-meat-recall--nestle/5602453/) their Philly Steak Hot Pockets. But besides putting a Philly cheesesteak on a croissant, what could be wrong? > > The USDA says the products were unfit for human consumption. > OK, but are Hot Pockets ever fit for human consumption?

> Chikungunya fever, a viral disease similar to dengue, was first spotted in December on the French side of St. Martin and has now spread to seven other countries, the authorities said. About 3,700 people are confirmed or suspected of having contracted it. How long before Floridians have to learn how to pronounce yet another tropical disease? Say it with me: Chikungunya... [chik-en-GUN-ye](http://www.merriam-webster.com/medical/chikungunya). Good job.  Just like *Salmonella* isn't from salmon and swine flu isn't really from pigs, [chikungunya fever](http://www.cdc.gov/chikungunya/) has nothing to do with chickens, or for that matter guns. It's mosquitoes, those damned mosquitoes. The symptoms are primarily fever, joint pain, headaches, fatigue, and other unpleasant conditions that can last a few days or up to a few weeks. The good news is that it's not often fatal. But still, not fun. The symptoms aren't the only thing that are similar to dengue fever. When mosquito-borne dengue fever re-emerged in the Florida Keys in 2009, it hadn't been seen in the U.S. outside of international travelers in 70 years. Florida had significant outbreaks in both [2009 and 2010](http://www.cdc.gov/dengue/epidemiology/local_dengue.html), but 2011 and 2012 were quiet, [likely due to major, impressive control efforts](http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/30/us/in-florida-the-front-lines-of-a-war-with-mosquitoes.html) by state and local officials, and probably also due to quite a bit of luck. We weren't so lucky in 2013, as [20 or so people up the Atlantic coast came down with dengue last year](http://diseasemaps.usgs.gov/del_fl_human.html). Although the case numbers are small, it seems fair to say that dengue has now re-established itself in Florida. A couple of years down the line and I wonder if we'll be saying the same thing about chikungunya. And maybe not only in Florida, as the mosquitoes that transmit dengue and chikungunya are [spreading north and west](http://www.infectionlandscapes.org/2011/01/dengue-in-united-states.html). Last year, the yellow fever mosquito *Aedes aegypti*, [was found in California](http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/10/30/us-usa-mosquitoes-california-idUSBRE99T1F220131030).

[NPR](http://www.npr.org/2013/10/30/239167270/medical-magic-leads-to-terror-in-parasite): > In *Parasite*, Mira Grant imagines a near future in which genetically modified tapeworms are a universal health-care solution. Once implanted, the worm provides immune-system support, making its human host healthy for the duration of its life — though like any good piece of commodified progress, the worms have planned obsolescence and need to be replaced regularly. Reviews are mixed (to put it kindly), but this is going on the wishlist. Maybe it's because I'm all into the weirdness of food and waterborne parasites these days (for example the possibility that *Toxoplasma gondii* effects [personality changes even in the latent state](http://schizophreniabulletin.oxfordjournals.org/content/33/3/757.short)), but the mix of drug-delivering tapeworms, Big Pharma conspiracy, and zombie apocalypse sounds like a fun premise to me.

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

Oh, man. This is a sold out [3-color screenprint](http://www.tinyshowcase.com/artwork.php?id=2195) by Steven Dressler that was created for that amazing [episode of This American Life](http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/484/doppelgangers) where they investigated the possibility of pork rectum being used as imitation calimari. It's an awesome episode, one that makes you squirm and giggle at all the talk of "hog bung" and deep fried appetizers. It's also the episode where Fred Armisen co-hosts with his Ira Glass impression.

Invitations to Chinese conferences are getting better and better. Can't wait to visit Barn.