welcome to the meatshow

my uncle Clit got his leg blown off by a landmine in the War on Christmas

i dont think coffee creates a turd but instead irritates an already existing one. like a bull seeing a red cape

want a shirt that says YOU SHOULD FEEL VISCERALLY VIOLATED BY THE UNSTOPPABLE CORPORATE ENCROACHMENTS ON YOUR ATTENTION SPAN, BY THE FACT THAT YOU STARTLE LIKE A TRAINED ANIMAL AT EVERY NOTIFICATION, BOTH OVERSTIMULATED AND BORED, LETHARGIC AND JUMPY, WAITING FOR THE NEXT BIT OF VALIDATION WITH THE SAME SICKLY EXCITEMENT AND FEAR AS A GAMBLER AT THE TABLE

i want a shirt that says “monkey time” lol. and has a funny ape on it

that aounds awesome i want that too

Please-a open the door!

Open up-a! Hehe!

Please

i saw you making a vegetable medley but not salting appropriately every time you added the next veggie in the cooking time order 

At your military wife’s house washing my hair with your sons calming bedtime baby shampoo

youtuber with a beard merch be like *silhouette of a beard*

When it shpuld be a silhouette of a cock...

?

Whats not clicking

If she's your girl why is she tearing me asunder

You walk into the kitchen and I’m wearing gloves and goggles and welding a sandwich together

what if i eat aquafresh

Yeah. What if you did.

i just checked the wii forecast channel and it said lightning is going to shock everyone to death

i meant legs fuck 

NO!

hey be cool thats drum n bass legend dj penis addiction