Sad Grl

But also if you don’t like people queering “straight” fiction you can take your shit opinion back with you to the rock you live under.

being gay is way more fun when you have someone to be gay with

i think most people are interpreting this as wanting a partner, but also being gay is way better when you have a bunch of gay friends

I fucking hate it when you’re in such a fantastically giddy mood and then you see one simple little thing that makes you think, “oh” and then you just get this empty feeling in your chest and you get nauseous and the world just crumbles and you want to just lay under a blanket and close your eyes and fall asleep and never wake up. 

Me entering a bookstore: *my skin clears, an ethereal glow emanates from my body, small woodland animals gather at my feet, I am at peace*

i love my mother dearly but ability-wise she frightens me bc not only can she find 20 four leaf clovers within the span of like 2 minutes, everywhere, she can also write her name w/ both hands on a dry erase board or w/e at the exact same time and have both be a mirror image of one another

to add to this: i was making breakfast this morning and i hear “hey milo! look who came to say hello!” and, expecting like, a moth or a frog or something of that nature, i turn and she’s holding a snake

Yer ma’s a witch. Be nice to her

so when are men gonna realize that women aren’t complicated and we’re actually just normal people and it’s men that lack emotional depth and interesting personalities?

i have no idea how to reply to this cause it’s simply just the funniest thing i’ve ever read and nothing will ever top it

I love how none of the things he stated are indicative of emotional depth or an interesting personality

Id like 2 learn how to build a house that would be a neat skill to have

there’s nothing funnier than android users talking about how unethical and exploitative and capitalistic apple is as if google/samsung are like. small organic phone co-ops instead of equally giant exploitative corporations

*overwhelmed at the adult toy store* *whispering under breath* The wand chooses the wizard. The wand chooses the wizard. The wand chooses th…

ok do you guys remember those Capri Sun “RESPECT THE POUCH, RESPECT IT!” ads where children would deface a Capri Sun pouch in some way and then suffer some karmic punishment thematically connected to the way they disrespected pouch then there were Airheads commercials where eating an airhead would turn your head into a balloon and there were Fruit Gusher ads similar to that except your head turned into an enormous piece of fruit what happened where for this brief period of time (in america at least) it was decided the best way to get kids to buy fruit themed junk food was to imply there was some kind of chaotic evil force that would let you sip its sweet nectar and feast on its fruit, but only if you were willing to sacrifice your state of existence and obey the artificially flavored outer gods