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Petition to rename the long game to ‘you seem pretty sad for a boy so in love’

the duality of man is Ilya Rozanov being simultaneously so straight passing that Shane Hollander could own up to being in love with him and have people assume it's an unrequited crush, yet so visibly queer that in 66% of instances where Scott Hunter came out to people prior to the on-ice kiss, they immediately assumed he was dating Rozanov

I'm willing to bet that at least one MLH player post-long game tweeted "We can thank Montreal for being so homophobic they got God and Satan signed to the same team. Say goodbye to the cup because no one else is gonna see it for another 10 years 😔" once it was announced Shane was going to play for Ottawa 😭

Ilya’s pre-game speeches to the centaurs being like “we are the gayest team in the mlh if we lose tonight you are giving homophobes a point. do not do that”

Headcanon that for an anniversary or perhaps their retirement, Harris is editing a video for Ilya & Shane showcasing their relationship and their dedication to the game and so on. The clips are mostly gathered from outtakes or snippets filmed on roadtrips, post/pre gams, in the locker rooms, during practice, at team gatherings etc.; it‘s hilarious, most of the team and assorted guests have a good laugh at it, mainly bc ilya and shanes bickering is highly entertaining while at the same time, it‘s spicked with very sweet moments causing soft smiles all around, perhaps some gentle ribbing by team mates and friends - „wow roz, you‘re so whipped“, „who knew hollander had this much rizz “ - but towards the end, the clips become older and on screen ilya & shane become younger until it‘s a montage, meticulously collected and edited to show a competetive smirk during face off, every hint of a smile or wink (in ilyas case) during interview snippets, award show poses together, all star games show offs - and ilya and shane just get quiet for a sec with tears in their eyes, because while it should feel kinda weird to have such old footage dug up, they don‘t really have a lot of photos from their first years together as they deleted everything in fear of being found out, and now their friend made the effort to give at least something back to them - and while their friends - or family really, at this point- around them is still joking, partly still bewildered by how long those two have been together, shane and ilya just sit there, leaning into each other, shane softly caressing ilyas wedding ring in their interwoven hands

getting so hard I’m gonna faint at the thought of some player chirping Ilya post coming out but it’s specifically targeted at Ilya’s mother (irina foundation being common knowledge) and for once, Ilya doesn’t have a comeback- he’s in a slump, he’s depressed, he’s feeling raw, and he freezes- just long enough for Shane to glide up, drop his gloves and punch the guy in the face so hard he knocks him out cold <3 that’s Shane’s man you’re talkin to <3

shane can’t stand in one place for more than five minutes without ilya coming up and snuggling with him. it’s so bad that the centaurs started betting on how long shane could stand alone before ilya popped up by his side and clung to his husband — the longest he lasted was 15 minutes. the best part is that shane never complains, he always holds ilya back. one of the centaurs, Bood, asked ilya why he does that, and he replied, "he’s right there, and i can be with him now." the whole team felt bad because, yeah, they had to hide for so long. now, they can just be together whenever. but that doesn't mean they'll stop teasing the couple and their captain’s clingy ass