hey, what's up everyone. my name is pando, i'm a kalosian pokémon trainer travelling with my partner pokémon, neobyte the porygon. although this is, first and foremost, a blog to talk about interesting mysteries and conspiracy theories i've heard, feel free to ask me stuff about pokémon, since i'm pretty knowledgeable on the topic. sometimes, i'll also just post generally interesting facts that not a lot of people know about, so look out for those.
more about me and this blog under the cut.
ABOUT ME
as i said, i'm pando. i'm seventeen, taking a year off to travel kalos with my pokémon and get stronger. i use any/all pronouns, so don't really worry about it. my parents are both college professors in lumiose, teaching courses related to poképaleontology and pokémon behavior, so i ended up knowing a fair bit about a lot of pokémon– it also helps that i’ve been surrounded with pokémon my entire life. i’m currently undertaking the gym challenge, and have four badges under my belt.
ABOUT MY TEAM
NEOBYTE
my first pokémon, who i’ve had since just about forever. cool little guy. sometimes they’ll fuck with my computer, though, so watch out for that.
ROZ
a beheeyem, and a bit of a bastard but i love them regardless. got them in a trade with some kid from unova, and have had them by my side ever since. has a penchant for erasing my memories when it's convenient.
EXCAL
currently a doublade, and a sweet little lass. very cuddly, but often forgets that she's literally two swords. still, she's a cutie pie in spite of it all.
RUCKUS
noibat, somewhat close to evolution(?) bastard no.2 electric boogaloo. likes to scare me by screaming at 160db and steals all my berries.
WHIRLIGIRL
she's actually a scolipede now, but the name is cute so i kept it. she is the only thing keeping ruckus in check. is the only one on my team with two braincells.
so, yeah. i might talk more about this later, but that's basically all you need to know about me + my pokémon– now, onto the rules.
GENERAL RULES
i will not accept asks about deeply upsetting topics. yes, these are conspiracy theories– but the fun kind, about where ditto really come from, the master ball, and the latest sightings of ultra beasts. nothing overly political, or violent, or whatever.
no racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, antisemitism, ableism, etc. if you are any of those things, please go fuck yourself. thanks.
know that, although i am pretty well-versed with pokémon, i am not nearly as knowledgeable as a professor or professional battler– i'm just a teenager on the internet. take my advice with a grain of salt, and defer to someone with more qualifications with me if they disagree with me.
stan lisia and ari. chaz stans DNI /j.
don't try to bullshit me– i know you did not catch arceus, or latias/os, or raikou, or whatever. fusions don't exist. conspiracies are only fun when they have a spot of truth behind them.
anyways, thanks for reading this, and i hope you'll come with me to explore the depths of this weird, weird world we live in!
———— ABOUT THE MUN
Hii! My name's Moni, nice to meet you! I'm seventeen years old, turning eighteen in December– but, please keep in mind that I am, currently, a minor. I use any/all pronouns but prefer he/they.
I've been writing creativity for about ten years, and roleplaying since I was around ten? I'm autistic, and pokémon has been my biggest special interest for about as long as I can remember! Thank you so much for reading all of this, and I hope you enjoy your stay here! Have a great day! 💖💖💖
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Fun fact from the Pokedex: "This Pokémon generates electricity and channels it into its legs to keep them going strong. Boltund can run nonstop for three full days."
This is correct, but you probably shouldn't allow it. That's a panicked survival tactic that usually leaves them vulnerable after running. If a Boltund runs for three days straight, that doggy is either in danger, or starving and chasing down prey.
pro tip: whenever you read the pokédex and you think to yourself “woah that's kinda wild is that true?” it either isn't, or it's a desperate thing they do when they're starving.
What is more important to determine the power of an Espeon, the head jewel or the tail split? Or do neither or those things matter?
Though the Espeon fan-club's all over will probably argue this, theres actually no correlation between the gemstone, or tails, in regards to this pokemon's powers.
The tail itself is very useful for balance, aids with agility sure, but we've got an old Espeon who has only about 6-7cm of her tail left, and is perfectly strong and capable without it (though she did need to do some physio when she first lost it to help with the balance thing)
As for the gemstone, sure, clarity, cut and size can change the physical appearance and beauty, and some believe that a larger, more vibrant gem is more powerful, but theres actually not a lot of data to support this. The only time the gem becomes less effective is if it's damaged, or lost. It acts like a focus, and an Espeon without a gem will have uncontrolled bursts of power, they'll struggle to harness their psychic energy, and almost need a complete overhaul in their training to be safe in public again. It can be a long and quite difficult journey, but a held item that will focus them is a good option to help out. We like to use shiny stone shards, they seem to help this pokemon the most to regain control.
I believe there was this old show called ‘Dexbusters’ where two Unovans tried to test the various ‘facts’ the Pokedex presented on whether they were true or a bunch of lies. Loved that show as a kid, and it taught me to take the facts from the Pokédex with a grain of salt. There was one episode where they tried to test if a Sharpedo can really sink a supertanker. It failed to sink even a yacht.
Ah yes, I remember that show! We had it in Kalos too, a dubbed version at least.
They should really bring it back, a lot of trainers could benefit from not taking the pokedex literally.
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this’ll be a very long post, and i feel bad for clogging your dashboard, so the full post is under the cut!
hoo boy, this is going to get weird. if you thought that mythical pokémon were stretches of the imagination, you definitely haven't heard of this strange, reality shattering group of cryptids.
ORIGINS OF GLITCH POKÉMON
it's not really known when rumors of these pokémon actually started, but, from personal experience, they've been around for a good while– enough for them to be popular elementaire school ghost stories. there have been an extremely low amount of reported sightings of these pokémon, if you could even call them that, which, we'll get to later. for some reason, most sightings occur within the kantonese island of guren, or cinnabar island– but the mainland is also a notable hotspot for these occurrences.
from most eye witness accounts, the physicality of glitch pokémon are.. strange, to say the least. most are completely unable to provide any sort of description, citing no possible human word that could be even remotely accurate to what they had seen. for those that are able to say something, they are described as extremely large– allegedly ranging all the way from 3m - 26.7m (10' - 81'80"). their appearances are said to be hidden in a static-like fog, although there are a couple of people who claim to have seen them, unobscured, and that they looked similar to complete fossilized specimens of kabutops or aerodactyl. in kalos, many of these pokémon are reported to look somewhat like a shiny bulbasaur.
WHAT CAN THEY DO?
in an unsurprising twist, there were a few of these witnesses who attempted to battle glitch pokémon. for some reason, some of them have reported that their battles have ranged on for days at a time– even though no sudden disappearances of them have been documented. some of these glitch pokémon will spontaneously burst into flames, while others seem to be inflicted with poison of unknown origin; every single trainer reported strange effects upon their own pokémon during battle, but, once their battles have concluded, these injuries miraculously healed as though nothing had happened.
it's important to note that these "pokémon" likely aren't actual pokémon. based on these trainers' accounts, they don't actually have any traditional offensive attacks that other pokémon have. this could suggest that they don't possess the element-channeling organelles that are signature for the domain pokémonica, which means that they aren't actually pokémon– at least not under the current definition of a pokémon.
POSSIBLE THEORIES
so– what the actual fuck? no, like, seriously, what the fuck? why are dozens of people reporting these sightings, and why are all of them somehow consistent in their stories– even when they have never spoken with one another personally?
HALLUCINATIONS
POSSIBLE SIGHTINGS OF LEGENDARY/MYTHICAL POKÉMON
the first and most widely accepted theory is that these people are suffering from a mass sociogenic illness, which causes them to vividly hallucinate for prolonged periods of time. and honestly? i really don't think that's the case. it's basically impossible for so many people, scattered around the world with no contact between each other, to all hallucinate very similar experiences independently of each other. could some of them have been hallucinating, sure, but i just can't really believe that every single account can be waved off like this.
one subset of this theory is that this was caused by the consumption of hallucinogenic drugs, but that can easily be disproved by the fact that each witness, when interrogated further, had passed drug tests– even if they had used in the past. all of these people were stone cold sober when they saw what they'd seen.
due to their extremely strange, cryptic nature, some people believe that these so-called glitch pokémon are either entirely new legendaries, or illusions caused by legendaries. for this theory, people often point to the pokémon known as hoopa, which, in its mythos, was a trickster god who had the ability to create illusions and transport objects through space through its rings. however, this doesn't really explain the time distortion reported by many of the people who encountered glitch pokémon– unless hoopa is working alongside dialga, i wouldn't really consider this to be factual. as for the theory that these glitch pokémon are actually new legendary pokémon.. yeah, i honestly just find that to be a little too much stretching of the imagination to justify that. that's all i, personally, can really say about that.
SIMULATION THEORY
oh god do i really have to talk about this? okay, so some people, including some witnesses themselves, believe that this phenomenon is proof that the entire world is a simulation inside of a supercomputer or whatever. because of how weird that shit is, they just don't think they can logically explain this in any sort of biological way. this group is also where the term "glitch pokémon" comes from, as it was extremely popular when the idea spread through cultural osmosis.
GOVERNMENT EXPERIMENTS
honestly, this take is very conspiratorial, even for me. just.. why? how would any sort of government or massive organization manage to create anything like what was described? the only known man-made pokémon that comes even close is type: null and silvally, but, even then, the two concepts are hundreds of kilometers apart. i'm just going to mark this one down as straight up impossible.
honestly, i would have liked to come out of this with a full opinion, but i really don't have one, even after my research. i want to believe that not everyone is lying about these so-called pokémon but.. it really just doesn't feel real? at the same time though, what would be the motivation behind that? i literally just do not know what to think about this, because it's just so plainly bizarre and unnatural– even for conspiracy standards.
As someone who had to go through Circhester Stadium's challenge, I can confirm this. It used to be deeper, up until someone broke their ankle. Apparently, it's an international unofficial agreement that a drop of over 76 cm/30 in would be a bad idea. At least, in official leagues.
Okay, I probably should elaborate. Bear with me, some of these are going to be stupid, half because Grandpa Kennedy was stupid and half because the laws used to be a lot more lenient.
1) The only reason there's a law against a drop being over 76 cm for a gym challenge in Galar is because Grandpa broke his ankle falling a little over 3 meters onto hard stone in Circhester Stadium. He was maybe 15 at the time, and so far he's the only reported accident, but since then we've enjoyed 50 years of a 65 cm drop.
2) There has to be an actual path through the Glimwood Tangle. This one's harder to explain, but if you go off path enough you might find the exact same bramble-filled pit my Grandpa fell in. There was nothing saying there couldn't be a maze, but there had to be a path. He wasn't the only case here, but he was the most notable.
3) You cannot fight people as a gym challenge. There used to be a Fighting-type gym challenge about 49 while ago where you'd have to prove your worth by fighting alongside your pokemon. It went... poorly. Grandpa broke his nose and another man's arm.
4) It's illegal to climb the walls around Hammerlocke. I don't want to explain this one, but I will say the law doesn't apply over in Motostoke.
That's all I can really remember, anyways. There's probably a couple more. Mum didn't like Grandpa Kennedy much, she said that "he was far too much." He was an interesting man.
In the current age, most professional battles are broadcast on television, often hours - or even days - after they take place. As such, most televised battles go through some form of post-production. Even if this editing is minimal, designed only to streamline and clarify beats of the match, the viewing experience is markedly different from seeing a battle in the flesh. If you’re lucky enough to get a ticket to a stadium match, here’s a few things that you can expect:
There will be pauses. Lots of them. If the match isn’t live, producers often edit out non-significant interventions by the referee, of which there are always plenty. Refs are cautious about excessive force and there are lots of finicky rules about how long moves can be sustained, so the whistle will go if anyone oversteps. ‘Breathing room’ intervals are also frequent; every half-minute or so, referees will command the pokémon to step apart, just for a few seconds. This gives them time to collect themselves, as well as breaking up combat that has become too one-sided.
At the same time, everything will seem faster than it does on the television. Post-production offers the opportunity for clear camera angles, close-ups and illustrative slow-motion - none of this is available in a live match. You will see a pokémon get knocked out and have no idea how it happened.
On a similar note, expect to be confused. Some stadiums will mic the trainers so that their commands are audible to the audience, some will only provide in-ear comms so that the trainer can be heard by their pokémon. In either case, it will be hard to follow what’s happening. Trainers often give commands in code or shorthand so as to retain the element of surprise. What little you can make sense of will be blanketed by cheering.
If you’re going to see a fire specialist, don’t get seats for the front row. There may be tickets available. They may be staggeringly good value for money. Don’t be tempted. You will spend the entire battle sweating into your seat.
Commentators vary in quality and not all stadiums will have them. Whether you find them a lifeline or a nuisance usually depends on your level of knowledge about battling. Trainers and enthusiasts tend to get annoyed by their ‘stating the obvious’; casual fans rely on it. In any case, live commentating is much less cohesive - and far more excitable - than the kind that accompanies a pre-recorded match.
Rain Dance will, nine times out of ten, extend beyond the arena. Don’t bring an umbrella. The people behind will hate you for it.
A television camera can never capture just how blinding Dazzling Gleam can be. At the last PWT, Flannery infamously donned sunglasses during her battle with Valerie. Everyone made memes about it, but protective eyewear is actually recommended at certain matches, especially if you’re in the front row.
Everything will look messier than it does in a pre-recorded match. Producers often ‘clean up’ battle footage for the sake of clarity and visual appeal - when fire moves are used, most of the smoke is edited out, as are shots that linger on the gunk and debris in the arena. When the battle is done, expect the field to look filthy - ash everywhere, scorch marks, shattered rocks, pools of acid, chips of ice, clumps of fur. Psychic specialists tend to leave the arena in the neatest state. Poison and ground trainers vie for the messiest.
Oh yeah. Puzzles for psychic types are the best. Once i gave my meowstic a jigsaw puzzle and my boye was /hooked/
My Medicham goes through 10,000 count jigsaw puzzles in a week, and for my birthdays sometimes I request puzzles for her so I don’t have to buy them weekly
beheeyem is a h u g e fan of rubik's cubes, so i just went out with some extra cash i got and bought this really massive pentaminx for them to play around with. usually, it takes roz a good couple of hours to solve it. i have a bunch of other cubes for them, like some that are in all sorts of irregular shapes, ones with mirrored surfaces, and ones that have braille on them. honestly, puzzles of all kinds are great for a bored psychic type.
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Somewhere on YouTube, there’s a compilation of me nearly dying several times during wild Pokémon battles. The battlefield gets really hectic especially when you’re using strong attacks that tear up the field. I can’t imagine how bad it must be in Galar when they’ve got dynamax battles
Okay well, I wouldn’t say dying per say. More like, nearly getting hit by attacks that were either dodged or misfired
it's a very guilty pleasure of mine to watch "bloopers" in high profile pokémon battles. that video of flint's hair getting caught on fire from his flareon's overheat, and then being subsequently put out by the stray water from his opponent's lickitung using hydro pump is just.. so perfect in its chaos. i watch it religiously.
carnivine are particularly interesting pokémon imo, since they're grass-types from densely forested jungles and adapted a similar strategy to that of the venus flytrap. it's interesting to see parallels between it and victreebel, which shares a common ancestor with carnivine but had followed the more sedentary style of pitcher plants rather than actively hunting. either way, i don't think i'd want to on the other side of either's jaws..
Clair: Carnivine and Victreebel’s bite force is actually pretty “weak” or at least their bite force isn’t strong enough to cause any real physical damages to a human. I still suggest not letting them bite you, tame or not, due to the sap/drool they secrete. It’s rather hard to remove from polyester and cotton
So, I am writing an essay about what the Pokedex gets wrong for my class. Right now, I am jotting down potential dex entries that are wrong in a blog post. Since I have the Wooloo thing down now, are there any other Pokedex entries that are harmful to the actual Pokémon in any way (Either physically or reputation wise)?
-The idea that Ghost Pokemon used to be human beings has lead to decreased adoption rates for Ghost Types in Pokemon shelters
-Bewear is often targeted by poachers due to their unique fur pattern, and they often get lighter sentences due to the belief that Bewear break people's spines
-The "Banette is a doll that came to life" legend sometimes result in trainers forgetting to feed their Banette, or putting them in washing machines to clean them
A ton of the mega evolution entries are extremely exaggerated. Trust me. Several researchers and I have run tests to make sure these Pokémon aren’t in pain. These entries actually have discouraged some people from using Mega Evolution but they seem to forget that mega evolution is temporary. The max a Pokémon can stay mega evolved is around 20-30 minutes.
A Pokémon does indeed get overwhelmed with excess power but that’s why you have to get approved by the Mega Evo Guru. There’s more to than “oh here’s a stone. Go crazy!” No it’s not that. You have to do special training with your Pokémon before it’s battle ready in their mega form. You and the Pokémon do exercises together to grow closer and so that your Pokémon can withstand the power
While it is true, Aerodactyl are no longer able to fully endure their supposed old strength, they can still very much withstand the change for 30 minutes. I always keep a close eye on my Aerodactyl during my battles
A mega gengar doesn’t actually curse everyone and take everyone’s souls. They don’t go mad with power. But their radius of their cold spot does grow
Mega Pinsir’s entry is really the only one that’s correct aside from skewering things. They’re just caught up in the adrenaline of flight
Sorry bout the long post. I just have a lot to say about mega evolution and the stigma(?) surrounding it
hattrem and hatterene, although possessing empathic telepathy and extreme sensitivity towards the emotions of people and pokémon alike, won't actually go and beat you up if you happen to be crying within 50km of it. actually, if you are in a secluded area with little other people around you, it may try to make its way towards you to help calm you down– so you can stop bothering it with your very loud human emotions; otherwise, it will simply teleport itself away.
honedge, doublade, and aegislash will not steal your life energy with its ribbon– while they are actually covered in digestive enzymes (such as the tentacles of jellyfish and jellyfish-like pokémon), they are unable to feed on intangible concepts such as "souls" or "life energy". their diet mainly consists of insects, vegetation, and most metals.
the pokédex is so unreliable– the best way to learn quickly about pokémon is from published pokézoological encyclopedias. good luck on your essay!
are we talking about pokémon stereotypes? oh boy. my honedge, excal, is literally the sweetest little cinnamon roll the world has to offer. i've seen her cry after eating a delicious berry, or while watching old sitcom reruns. she loves to cuddle everyone and everything, and is mostly unaware that she is swords.
My father has an Aegislash from his trainer days, I didn't get to be around him much until I was older because sharp objects and small children don't mix.
There are a lot of superstitions surrounding Vivillon, often associating it with evil and bad omens. For this reason they’re not too commonly owned in certain regions
i know that, in cyllage, we'd actually have different superstitions based off of a vivillon's pattern– kind of like fortune telling, more or less. some are very positive, but others? not so much.
if you see its elegant pattern, you're apparently going to experience great luck in love that day, however, a vivillon with the monsoon pattern will have the opposite effect. back when i was a kid, there'd always be this group of girls, and sometimes boys, who would try chasing down and catching an elegant pattern vivillon.
some other notable patterns are tundra and sandstorm, both thought to bring bad weather; garden, foretelling bountiful harvest and are really popular with farmers; archipelago, said to bring bad fortune in relationships with friends and family; and icy snow, associated with death (of either yourself or a loved one, depending on who you ask).
all in all though, it's a load of bs if you ask me– fun to think of, but pretty meaningless.
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What is the best medication for preventing parasites in pokémon, and for getting rid of them if the pokémon already has them?
This is a super broad question. While some species of Pokémon can use some human medicines, most can not, and most can't even use the same medicines as other Pokémon. Additionally, different Pokémon get different kinds of parasites. Your best bet on this one is to talk to your local Pokémon Center about your specific Pokémon. I am not a doctor or a Nurse Joy, and although I know a lot about Pokémon and how to care for them, parasites aren't super common among abandoned Pokémon. Usually, a trainer has brought their parnter to a Pokémon Center at least once when they first caught it, and Pokémon Centers generally go ahead and vaccinate new patients against common illnesses for their species. All medical treatments given here at the facility are on recommendation from a Nurse Joy and with the help of our team of medical practice Pokémon who have passed training courses.
As someone who had to go through Circhester Stadium's challenge, I can confirm this. It used to be deeper, up until someone broke their ankle. Apparently, it's an international unofficial agreement that a drop of over 76 cm/30 in would be a bad idea. At least, in official leagues.
