imagine having such a beautiful fairy godmother

this is the content that keeps me on this fucking site

I think next thursday is gonna be the best day of my entire life tbh

reblog for next thursday to be the best day of your life

please for the love of god turn ur sound on

I think it’s gonna be a good week

Reblog to have a good week!

the most painful social interactions are when you miscalculate someone’s meme literacy and reference something and the person/group doesn’t get it and u have to half-heartedly explain it knowing FULL well it’s 0% funny if people don’t have the full convoluted context of the joke and u feel the flames of hell start to lick at ur feet as they all give u a pity laugh 

never understood people who let candy melt in their mouth. ill bite down on a damn jolly rancher because i lack the patience 

It’s like a dishwasher

i dont understand even a little bit thank you

u ever go take a piss at a party and as soon as u close the door u feel like ur in a different dimension

1-800-ARE-YOU-SLAPPIN

Fuck I just assumed those chickens liked to accessorize

My favorite Gordon Ramsay moment is when his food was too slow so he took a jog and then fell asleep

this website was a mistake

what’s the mood… for april?

(to the tune of uptown girl) uptown rat. he wears a very silly pointy hat