MISTERSBEARD.TUMBLR.COM presents:
DD/lg BASICS - The Princess Journal
In a relationship such as the one that people have in the DD/lg and CG/l lifestyle, the little or submissive in the relationship looks for a lot of things in her Daddy Dom. One of the biggest is structure. However we are left sometimes asking ourselves as the Daddy just exactly how we can provide that structure, especially when we are new to the lifestyle or have not properly been educated.
One of the most simple ways to provide structure is through the use of something that I call the princess journal.
The princess journal is a simple tool for keeping it all together. Rules, punishments, requirements, expectations, and the goings-on of your daily life in your relationship can all be stored and put down in the princess journal. As an organizational tool that allows you to keep track of things, and as a comfort device it gives your little something physical that they can hold onto that not only reminds them of you and the relationship… But also gives them clear and concise directions and structure in the form of having a tangible physical thing in front of them to refer to.
But how do you set up a princess journal in the first place and then how do you employer and put it to use for the success of your relationship?
Step one – choose a journal.
There’s absolutely no wrong choice when it comes to what you select to use for the journal. As long as you are able to write in it, and it has plenty of room for all of the things that you will anticipate needing it for… Then it basically comes down to visual aesthetics and what your little would enjoy.
Also keeping in mind that it can be decorated, you can color it, and put stickers all over it and such anyway that you like, etc. And this will allow you to personalize it and make it your own. It can be a simple 80 page notebook, or it can be a fancy leather bound actual journal with blank pages and whatever it is that you like. The choice is yours according to what you find visually pleasing.
Step two – setting up the beginning of your journal.
In the past when I have set up a princess journal for my little for submissive I have always left the very first page blank. It’s just a matter of personal preference that I enjoy, probably because I enjoy literature and often times the first page of a book is blank.
The second page should be the title.
It could be “my princess journal”, or “little ones journal”, or however you want to make the title of it.
The third page begins the structure part of the journal. And I recommend that you make it the rules. Whatever rules you have set up for the relationship would go on this page in a list form starting with one and ending with whatever the last one on your list is. This makes it great for having them written down and in physical form for your little to refer to when ever she is confused.
And you may be asking yourself, what rules should I give?
In the past I have always tailored the majority of the rules according to the needs of the little. After all, everything you do… You do with a purpose. And that purpose is always more for her than it is for you. That’s not to say that you can’t have some special rules to appease the dominant side or whatever it is that tickles your fancy, but the majority of the rules should be those that help her, heal her, and see to it that she’s making forward progress.
Things like bedtime, nutrition, habits, and other things to move her along in personal evolution and progress are all good things to focus on. And always include a clause in somewhere that says something to the effect of “daddy has the right to change, amend, add, or remove any rules had any time.” And of course, everything should be negotiable and agreed on by the both of you.
“Because daddy says so” is a cop out and a sign of weakness and immaturity. When ever there has been a conflict, or something that needs to be talked about I have always preferred using the term “convince me” rather than “because I said so”.
Rule Examples:
“The Daily” - Everyday my little must send me 4 pictures. 2 of her under things (front and back) and 2 of her outer things (front and back). Makeup and accessories including shoes are her choice. This is often coupled with a secondary rule of “Daddy has the right to choose your outfits when he sees fit” and “I will ask for help when I cannot decide what to wear”
You may be asking “Why?… whats the purpose? Youre just wanting this so you can see her in her underwear, right?”
Remember: Everything with a purpose, and that purpose is more for her than it is for you
PRIMARY REASON- A little is a representation of her daddy and the way she appears in public reflects his image as well. It shows how she both feels about herself and the way that people view him. A sloppy presentation, a dirty or unkempt little… is a representation of a daddy who is not paying attention and has no respect for himself. Plus, when we look good… we feel good. When she feels good her confidence is higher, when its higher she makes better decisions, copes better with stress, etc and so on… when you approve of her appearence, she feels validated and fulfilled.
secondary reason - It causes her to be mindful of getting up earlier or getting ready earlier, which in turn helps to prevent her from being late to where she is going. (work, school, etc). This creates better habits for future punctuality.
secondary reason - improving punctuality and mindfulness in how she appears will ultimately improve the cognitive functioning of her brain. As she gets used to the new habit, she will be able to more quickly make decisions in the future and improve coping skills.
secondary reason - She will ultimately end up getting positive comments on her appearance. In addition to confidence building, it shows her that its okay to accept a compliment. (something many littles have a hard time doing). As this occurs more, it will also remind her “My daddy picked out this outfit for me and people love it”… that brings the both of you closer, and forms a stronger bond.
secondary reason - it shows her that you actually care and are actively involved in her daily life. The things she does, even the very small and seemingly unimportant ones, are important to her… and if you show you are paying attention and such, it makes her feel cared for and loved. This is one of those rules thats really big on building structure in addition to trust, confidence, decision making, and so much more. It also gives her a task to do, infuses responsibility and discipline in a simple way, and brings you closer together.
and thats five reasons before I have even gotten anywhere close to “because I have a cute panties fetish and want to see her in them everyday” which of course.. is the least important reason.
Always consider the reasons for the rule, and if there arent any good ones… then toss that rule out.
Other rule examples include:
“Always represent Daddy in your appearence, actions and words”, “My bedtime is XXXX”, “I will eat 3 healthy meals a day”, “I will always ask permission for….”, “I must inform daddy immediately when I have broken a rule”… like I mentioned, tailor them according to her needs and forward progress.
Page 4 should be set up as rewards.
Just like with rules, you set up the Rewards tailored towards her and not towards you. Choose things that she likes, things that she could feasibly work towards, things that the both of you could perhaps enjoy together.
The next page in your journal could be punishments, but that’s up to you. Not so much punishments in the likes of if this happens then that will happen… But more a list of punishments that you can choose from later, and that she agrees to. The following pages after that can be many things. You could have your limits list, you could have a page titled “lessons learned” in which she lists the things that she learns as she goes on such as it’s safe to ask questions, it’s OK to express emotion, it’s OK to do this or that… The simple things that maybe she has struggled with in the past but is working through and getting healing from.
The princess journall can also be used for lines… Which is a great form of punishment and will allow her to have something to reflect upon for her past mistakes. And of course… You can also be used for general journaling about the relationship, feelings, and so on.
One of the nice things if it is an in person relationship is that daddy can also steal the journal for moment at a time and right precious notes, encouragement and love letters for her to find later.
Ultimately the journal should be something that is used often and something that can be referred to as a physical comfort device. What I mean is, when daddy is away and she is missing him, she has that physical thing that is a representation of the relationship that she can touch and look at and reflect on. It should become one of her most prized possessions and something that is sacred to her.
If properly used and set up, the princess journal will bring you success in structure throughout the course of your entire relationship.
Thank you for enjoying. Please feel free to re-blog this if you think someone else will enjoy it and look for future parts of my DD/lg Basics series to come soon.
For further education:
DD/lg Basics: AFTERCARE
How to find the perfect Daddy
DD/lg Basics: THE MAD DADDY
littles 101: Spotting a BAD DADDY
Tech for littles: THE BOOSTER BUDDY
- Mister mistersbeard.tumblr.com
