I saw the monkeys at the zoo and climbed in

Some men gave him shit about doing that, bitching and moaning about “Maaaaaan you’re raising the bar!” or “Isn’t picking up the kids your wife’s job?” and so on.

But more men- many more men- came to him for advice. “Where did you learn to sing?” “My wife’s allergic to flowers and doesn’t like chocolate. What should I get her for her birthday?” “How did you get time off to pick up your kids early?” “I wanna do something nice for our anniversary, but it’s right before tax day and I never remember and I feel like an ass. How do you remember?” Net, he thinks setting a good example like that ended two relationships and saved five.

Setting a good example is a good idea to inspire people to realize they deserve better, but even better is that there are lots of people out there who want to do better and will glady take notes from you.

it took me asking three more times before she finally told me she wanted me to leave the fans where they are instead of moving them to my room or something. and I said oh! I had no intention of doing so but thank you for letting me know what the expectation is.

A few hours later, the villagers watched him riding off in his fireproof suit, his oil and whisky in a cart behind him.

“Do you think he's really going to…”

“Surely not.”

“I mean the oil…”

“At least he's considerate.”

“At least he needs whisky.”

For the rest of the day, the villagers went about their chores in the shadow of the mountain where the dragon made her lair, trying not to think about what might be happening up there. At one point there was a sudden rise of smoke, as if a great fire had been lit. Followed by a draconic roar.

At the end of the day, the knight rode down again. The cart was empty. His suit was blackened. He looked exhausted, and was sheened with sweat.

“Job done,” he said as he got down from his horse.

The villagers stared.

“Poor girl is barely out of her first shed. Poor thing. Never been in heat before, didn't know what to do.”

The villagers kept staring.

“Should be alright now.”

The head man of the village felt like he should probably say something. “Are you… are you alright?”

The knight looked down at his suit. “This? Oh yeah, she sent out a few warning shots. Didn't like me getting too close to her lair.”

“So you…” the head man's sentence was cut off by another roar, and the sound of wings flapping overhead. The villagers ducked as one, the knight simply looked up, grinning.

“Olive oil and whisky, never fails.” He looked around at their confused faces. “See, normally the female is meant to build a fire herself to draw the males to her. She produces an oil from her cheek glands that lets them know she's in heat. Burning olive oil and whisky mixed smells the same— at least to a dragon— so you can use it in a pinch.” He pointed upwards. “That'll be the male.”

I'm going to wait for water heater things because i don't want to schedule overlapping appointments on accident. also i wamt to do detector first because i dont want to bother the water heater guy with the dying chirping from the detector which would be directly in his ear the whole time. I can just push that off, my cold tolerance has improved i can probably do a night before and morning of cold showers if its for the purpose of not getting infected and dying.

next item now is ordering some post surgery food i can put by the recliner and computer in case its worse than the surgen said and i don't want to get up for a week. maybe have another go and assembling my dryer vent so i can wash my sheets. And also taking my neighbor's hint and also mow my lawn, if i can fix the mower with the wheels i bought two weeks ago because its starting to get tall and i don't want to deal with the fucking weed commissioner patrol again this year on top of everything.