new lumos

it's hard being a polyamorous action hero because whenever i have flashbacks to all my dead wives it takes like 20 minutes to get through all of it

it kind of sounds like youre just feeding local women to the deadwife montage

You guys are amasing dansers and are you gonig to eat thise colorful berrys btw ?? They lock delicius

we will share with you

you cant have any of mine alvin doesnt feed me

im in court again

update guilty no chance parole

im not bailing you out this time asshole

i swear if the wizard doesnt let me out of his abandoned salt mine soon im gonna fucking LOSE IT

what did you do to be put into the salt mine

i MAY have eaten his special wizard meal. but i think he should let me out tbh

was it good? was it worth it? are you able to bear the weight of your sin?

im not gonna lie it was fucking delicious i would fucking do it again. wait shit youre the fucking wizard in disguise seeing if ive learned my lesson arent you. fuck.

10 YEARS IN THE ABANDONED SALT MINE.

going with the flow in a face down in a river kinda way

you ever notice how covid cases have spiked since the cock destroyers split up? can’t be a coincidence 

since the what

not naming names but some of you are so creative and talented it's an honor to have you in my phone

i woulda survived the movie Carrie because i simply wouldn’t have bullied her.

Ok, but the thing was she didn’t just kill people that bullied her, she murdered everyone at the prom. Remember what happened to that one teacher that was and helped her? So if you were at the prom you would have died.

I do wish we could make it a little more socially acceptable to wander the streets at night weeping inconsolably I feel like that would have a great catharsis factor for a lot of people

not naming names but some of you are so creative and talented it's an honor to have you in my phone