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I would be oho-h-

spit mightve already expand it when its in your mouth

Yeah I'll summon my army. I'll try to summon some of The Big Names Of Tumblr™ while I'm at it.

Once again, not gonna check for retags.

@albanenechi @ask-badlydrawn-davekat @asters-tempo @astoriagalaxy @atinylilgoose @cantspellanexitey @choucon @crowofthestars @djdinky @distraughtparsnip @daggerhobbit @element-identifier @formertokenstraight @krevelaf @luckylavi @lezboondangernoodle @mildlybizarrecorvid @monarchofthequeerpotatoes @nepnepnepnepnepnepnepnepnepnep @pidgewildwind @raeprise @rins-batcave @since-times-long-forgotten @stars-on-my-bedroom-ceiling @the-silly-words-on-your-screen @the-ourple-ghost @thestolentypewriter @tigerbeancoffee @washington-offical-2

Now for TBNOT

@badjokesbyjeff @biggest-gaudiest-patronuses @pukicho @i-am-a-fish @i-am-the-crab @one-time-i-dreamt

Her: I am 100% sure there is a delay function on the coffee maker.

Him: and I'm sure there's not. I'm telling you I looked. There is no button for delay.

*after the fifth time they've had this discussion and she finally bothers to look up the manual to prove her point*

Him (following the directions from the manual): Goddamn it there is a delay function on the coffee maker.

Her (doing a weird dance): Vindication!

*He laughs and pulls her into a kiss*

*during the climatic scene the husband is fighting the villain in his own house and it looks like he's going to lose*

Him: you may think you have won but I know some you don't know.

Villain: and what might that be?

Him: there's a delay function on the coffee maker

*there is an explosion from the coffee maker behind the villain (the husband filled it with gas). It allows the husband to get the upper hand and win the fight. As he walks away from the burning house finally ready to move on and start living again. He turns back and whispers to himself*

uhhh

if this gets 100 notes i will tell my english teacher i am trans :3