𖤣 pairings ⸝⸝ doctor!p.jay x blackfem!reader
𖤣 synopsis ⸝⸝ wherein you’d lost all touch sexually until your friends doctor helped you get it back
𖤣 content ⸝⸝ softdom!jay, fisting, fingering (f.rec), clincal, mentions of sexual trauma.
𖤣 note ⸝⸝ this has been in my drafts for four days, kinda like it
You’d touched yourself before, wasn’t exactly inexperienced with sex either but for some reason—on a random day in February your body decided that it wouldn’t feel anything.
Nothing, not when you bought dildos, not when you plugged them inside of you and tried riding them against the wall. It all just felt, like movement.
You’d expressed it to your friends, gone to doctors who had you on what they claimed was medical but really was just expensive viagra, and it brought the arousal just not the feeling with it.
“Maybe I’m just broken.” You settled on, fidgeting with the sleeves of your sweater as you sat with hanni, who nodded with a defeated set of her expression not knowing what exactly was off either.
She brought her hand to your shoulder, in a gentle squeeze “Maybe…pray?” She suggested, a sweet as honey smile appearing on her face.
And you did, for almost two hours before you headed to bed.
Your prayer was answered the morning after, a message on your phone bubbled with a paid for acceptance of a somatic body healing that Jake, your nextdoor friend had accidentally signed up for but used your name instead.
shim: bro, sorry. i did this half awake.
shim: maybe go? see what it’s about?
You stared at your phone in complete disbelief then wiped the sleep out of your eyes, cursing Jake then absolutely blocking him for the rest of the day.
But your curiosity spiked at whatever he’d signed you up for.
The message had a link to it, ‘Park Jay.’ Was the doctor you’d be seeing and a part of you wondered what you’d be doing there then another—wondered why Jake even bothered to set himself up for this.
Then—your eyes settled on the date,
Your eyes widened, sitting up immediately. “Today?” You repeated in the silence, heart pounding in your chest in nerves. You had an appointment with some random somatic doctor today, of all days when you’d planned to stay in the solitude of your home doing nothing.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” You muttered under your breath and got from under your bed sheets, freshening up for the day.
The clinic wasn’t like usual, didn’t have people coughing in the waiting room or people trying to pay with coins instead of cards but it still felt off because here you were in sweatpants and a sweater while everyone wore something formal.
You sat in the chair for what seemed like hours, leg bouncing as you scrolled through social media on your phone. Waiting, overthinking everything.
Your name was called and you stood up, fixing the bag strap on your shoulder before walking back with the lady where she weighed you, took in your height, checked your basic vitals.
Seemed pretty normal for the most part and when she left the room, you studied it. Noticed the body autonomy posters up, the skeletal charts, pain posters. Didn’t look too bad, didn’t look like a scam.
Even if it was, you hadn’t paid for it. Jake had, and it would be his loss.
A knock came behind the door, opening before you could even remember you had to open your mouth to say ‘come in’.
“Good afternoon,” The man spoke, bringing his hand to the dispenser to sanitize his hands.
You nodded, “Afternoon.” You repeated back to him, instinctively scooting back on the exam bed you were seated on.
He gave you a softened smile and sat down on the chair next to the desk, “You’re yn, then?” He questioned, voice a bit formal a bit warm.
“Yes,” you responded with your hands beginning to fidget the second he started typing in the computer, a silence thick you couldn’t sit with it. He introduced himself as casually as a clinical doctor would do, and you couldn’t help but nod silently—finding this all too awkward now.
“Um, what exactly is this for?” You finally questioned, watching him pause to turn towards you.
“Your appointment or the administration?” He asked, turning back to the computer for a moment then back to you. You only avoided his gaze more, hating how nervewracking this all felt.
“Appointment.” You settled on, figuring getting into the basics of this whole establishment would be too long and too boring.
He let out a soft ‘ah’ and clasped his hands together over his knee, “It says on your file that you’re struggling with feeling sexual touch.” He mentioned what was on your file, voice calm as the ocean on a sunny day.
“I’m here to see what the issue is so we can work on fixing it.” He further explained, your eyes going to his at the steady confidence in his tone. Like he’d done this million of times before and fixed bodies like yours.
But then the lateral part of you now knew Jake had set you up for this intentionally.
“So what, you’re gonna…fuck me?” You blurted, cheeks flushing an embarrassed plum at how vulgar your own words were.
He only laughed, soft and airy like he’d expected the confusion. “No.” He responded with a head shake, “If you allow me, I’ll touch you but there will be no penetration from my end.” He explained as thorough as he could.
‘From my end’. You repeated the words in your head, did he mean what you thought he meant? Or, had you just been overthinking too much?
“Yeah. Okay….i guess,” you responded with a shrug, whatever he meant you didn’t exactly have it in you to say no.
“Alright.” He nodded then brought a clipboard with a piece of paper on it and a pen attached to the clip, “This here is a consent form that you’ll sign if you’re comfortable, allowing me to touch, ask questions, see you naked. All that stuff.”
You glanced at him then down at the paper, then up at him again. Most guys you knew just told you to lay down and take it but this felt different. Perhaps it was supposed to be this way, you were in a clinic after all.
“Is this…necessary?” You questioned while signing your signature the paper, skimming over every other word.
“Yes,” he responded, “Some of the doctors here just need verbal consent. I value both documentation and verbal consent.”
Your heart nearly stopped, or skipped a couple beats. Not because you hadn’t expected it but because that was attractive knowing he wanted you to feel safe with him.
“Right.” You mumbled and handed the clipboard back to him, lowering your hands back in your lap when he took the clipboard slowly from you.
He nodded and set the clipboard near the desk, then stood up to grab a gown from the cabinets above to hand to you. “I’m gonna go get this copied really quick, while I’m gone I’m gonna need you to change into that gown, if you’re comfortable okay?” He gently instructed and you blinked, staring at the smile lines that softened his expression when he stared at you.
“Uh- y-yeah, I’ll put it on.” You stammered slightly, pressing your lips into what was supposed to be a smile but came out more awkward than you’d wanted. He nodded and opened the door to slide out of it, letting it fall shut behind him.
Then the silence came again.
“Get it together.” You muttered to yourself, weak—for a man that hadn’t even done anything but value consent.
You got up and stripped off your sweatpants and sweater, wondering if you’d missed the part where he mentioned needing to be fully naked or not. You bit your lip, and unclasped your bra anyway—sliding both your bra and panties off.
You folded your clothes neatly, hiding your lingerie because it felt however embarrassing that you’d picked out a matching pair for this appointment then sat down with the gown covering you, letting out a deep breath as you waited.
Then the knock came again and he appeared in front of the door again, shutting it as it clicked locked. “Alright, all good?” He asked, keeping his eyes on you.
“Yeah. I’m—I’m a bit cold though,” you responded and his eyes softened. “Yeah that’s normal, they keep it super cold in here. I can get you a towel, they’re thick it’ll keep you warm.” He suggested, not moving until you answered him.
You thought about it for a moment but shook your head no, “Ah no, I’ll be okay.” You replied softly, fidgeting with the green acrylic on your nail.
“That’s alright.” He assured you, seeing how your shoulders tensed. “Offer won’t expire.” He added while turning to get some supplies, oils, a box you couldn’t see what was in it, and towels stacked on top of each other.
“Now, yn,” he turned towards you and sat in his rolly chair, “This session does require me touching you, even in places that are private. Is that okay with you?” He asked, eyes watching every micro fixture of your expression just in case you had any non-verbal cues.
Yes. It was more than okay, but all that came out of your mouth was, “Yeah. I’m okay with it.”
He gave you another nod and stood up to sanitize his hands, applying gloves on his hands carefully. “I’m gonna start with questions.” He told you, bringing a warmer out and plugging it in.
“Sure.” You replied and watched how his hands seemed to warm something, eyes fixated on his hands and the latex of the gloves squeezing around his knuckles.
Maybe you had a thing for hands, or a thing for him. You hadn’t known.
“When was the last time you felt pleasure?” He questioned and turned towards you, moving to sit down and scooting closer. “Uh…maybe four-five months ago?” You answered honestly, rubbing the side of your neck awkwardly.
“Okay,” he hummed out, seeing how your eye twitched upon recalling it. “What was your last experience like?”
You remembered it. It was too rushed, too overwhelming and the guy left like it hadn’t exactly mattered then had the nerve to ghost you and show up with another girl. You explained it to him, the depths of how it all felt, how even touching yourself after it felt like a chore.
He nodded, listening to every word carefully. “What I’m hearing is,” he paused to choose his next words gently. “Your body is in a state of freezing up. Bracing for the next time to be like your last.” He explained with his eyes set on yours.
“Is that bad? Can I not fix it?” You sprawled out, not even knowing your body freezing up sexually was a possible thing.
“It happens to women very often actually,” he explained with a slow nod, “Not a bad thing, not a broken thing. You just need to be met with safety.” He assured you, watching your shoulders sag in relief.
He rolled the stool he was in towards the warmed oil, then brought it back towards you to set it on the table next to him. “I’m gonna start with gently coaxing arousal to your body.” He explained and you felt your skin warm at his words,
You’d already felt that buzzing of arousal just from the way he smiled at you.
“Yeah, that’s okay.” You found yourself saying before he asked, watching as he halted for a moment then nodded.
“Yeah?” He asked through a soft chuckle and it was enough for something warm to pool in your lower stomach.
“Okay, i wanna start with your shoulders. Is this okay?” He questioned and you immediately nodded, pulling the paper top of the gown off.
He brought the warmed oil to his finger tips and stepped closer, gently pressing his fingers into your skin before slowly moving them down to the bone of your shoulder in a slow trail of wet warmth against your skin.
The oil didn’t smell like anything, just warm underneath his even warmer touch.
You could feel it, could feel how slow his touch was igniting a flame low in your belly. You brought your eyes to his as his hands moved back to the base of your neck, trying not to moan at how good his steady touch already felt.
“Breathe,” he commented softly, lowering his fingers to your collarbone, but how were you supposed to breathe normally when every breath felt tight with the need of more?
You exhaled anyway, watching him peel the paper off you more to reveal your tits to him, sitting prettily. He turned and got more warm oil on his palms now, “Gonna move here, that okay?” He questioned and you swallowed—knowing you’d fold once those strong, careful hands touched you there.
“Yes.” please, you almost wanted to plead.
He brought his hands to cup your breasts, then flicked the pad of his thumb over your nipples and your chest twitched, a hitched gasp leaving your mouth.
“It’s okay.” He told you before thoughts could tell you this was wrong or brace for something that wouldn’t happen. “You’re sensitive. That’s normal.” He assured you, bringing his hands to knead the skin there—thumbs circling your nipples now, slowly.
You clenched your thighs together, trying to understand how your body was responding to him. Then those thumbs—flicking your nipple then circling them, you couldn’t stop the hiss that left your lips, then another hitched breath following after.
“Talk to me,” he murmured and you moaned quietly at his words, not even meaning to it just happened. But he didn’t falter, didn’t rush—didn’t stop his thumbs from circling your nipples even as they hardened.
“Tell me how it feels.” He now said, eyes watching your expression. You mewled, arching into his touch. “F-Feels..good.” You stammered out but he stopped his thumbs to press his hands up your chest, rubbing the oil in more.
You nearly whined at the loss of sensation, eyes flicking to his in confusion with a breath that was nearly a huff.
He understood and gave you a reassuring nod. “I know,” he spoke and the words coiled down your stomach tight. “I need you to lay back for me.” He instructed gently, stepping back to give you space.
You hesitated, not hearing him at first but once you realized what he’d said your back hit the exam bed immediately—gaze going to his in wonder.
His hand went to your thigh, gently patting it. “Can you open for me?” He questioned and as if your body listened to every word from him, your legs part—arousal glistening your thighs and folds.
You hadn’t even remembered the last time you’d gotten wet, you’d used lube immediately to loosen you up.
He pressed a hand on your lower stomach, “Breathe for me.” He reminded you again, moving his body towards the edge of the exam bed to appear between your legs.
“Alright, we’re gonna start with how you please yourself.” He introduced, and your eyes widened, “What? So…you’re gonna watch me touch myself?” You questioned, raising your brow.
You acted offend, weirded out perhaps but on the inside? You’d fuck your fingers inside of you until you’d squirt all over his face.
“Yes, unless you don’t want me to.” Was all that he responded with, patient as ever.
You swallowed and bit your lip, cheeks lightening a faint berry at his words. “I…I don’t know what I’m doing.” You admitted, you didn’t want to look like some inexperienced woman but that’s kinda what you were.
He let out a hum in response, “I can use my fin—”
“Yeah. Please.” You cut him off, desperately wanting him to suffocate your cunt with his fingers.
He let out a soft chuckle at your response and you felt your chest loosen the tension in it. “Spread these a little more for me.” He instructed with that pussy wetting soft tone.
And you obeyed, spreading your legs wider for him.
He took off the gloves that drenched in oil and put on a new pair, grabbing a bottle of lube and moving back towards you. He settled his hand on your pelvis, right above where you needed him most.
His thumb settled on your clit, “Tell me if you need me to stop or slow down.” He assured once more, waited for your nod then his thumb pressed against your clit—slowly circling it right where those nerves reacted.
You gasped, feeling the hum of pleasure already just from his thumb. “Y-Yeah. That feels—” a moan stopped your words when he sped up his thumb, his other hand going to keep your thighs open.
And for a moment, your mind settled on the thought of wanting him to get you there everyday.
“Feels good?” He echoed and moved his other hand to press lube onto his fingers, spreading it with his thumbs to bring one finger inside your tight hole, feeling the clench. “Relax,”
But the moment his finger slipped in you moaned louder, shakier—stomach pooling with heat faster than it had in months. You breathed, feeling your pelvis soften and his finger slid inside further,
“That’s it.” He murmured then slowly pulled it out then back in, watching your walls soften to take his finger in. “Good. Goo—”
“I can take more.” You stuttered out, biting your lip as you needed him to go further to bring you there.
“More?” He repeated, not surprised but something low in his voice simmered like hunger. He slid a second finger in, watching your walls flutter, “You can take more.” He let out and you moaned, thighs already shaking.
His other hand circled your clit again, making you gasp at the sensations clouding your brain. He brought his two fingers to a thrust inside of you then curled—curled his fingers and you arched, a shivered moan falling out of your lips.
“Please—please just like that.” You pleaded with him, mewling at his thumb on your clit and his fingers taking what they wanted inside your tight cunt.
“Good. Feel my fingers stretch you out,” he spoke, sneaking another finger inside, watching your pretty pussy clench around his fingers. “That’s all you can take? Just three?” He taunted softly, your thighs shaking around his hand.
You whimpered, feeling the stretch of his thick fingers stretch you but you could take more, you could take whatever he would give.
“n-no…gi-give me more.” You begged and drew your head back when a fourth finger slid inside of you, thrusting knuckle deep like this wasn’t just patient-client anymore.
“Yeah, you’d take my whole fist wouldn’t you?” He taunted further, plugging his four fingers in and out of you as you cried out in pleasure. He felt you clench, heard those spluttered gasps the closer you got.
“fuck.” He grit out quietly, only for him to hear as he watched you about to cum all over his fingers. “Gonna cum?”
You nodded, back arching off the exam table. “Jay—please…please.” You moaned loudly, feeling the rut of his fingers—hearing the squelch of his fingers gliding through your cunt.
His breath skipped at you moaning his name but he didn’t make it known, not visibly but his fingers curled inside of you—wanting you to feel how you made him feel. “Cum, all over my fingers. C’mon.”
And you did, gripped the exam bed as it milked out of you onto his fingers, leaking down into his palm. You whimpered, trying to catch your breath at how intense he’d filled you.
His finger brushed your clit, eyes darkened no matter how much he tried to hide it. “Can you give me one more?” He questioned and you opened your eyes slowly, nodding—you’d give him three more if he asked with that look on his face.
He pulled his fingers out to take off his glove and for a moment you’d wondered if that was apart of the assessment or not. He lubed his hand and you watched him, right until he balled his fist and pressed it to your hole.
You gasped—eyes fluttering at the stretch of his knuckles pressing in. “o-oh f-fuck.” You moaned out, shaky breaths following after.
“Yeah, knew you’d take my fist.” He groaned, pushing it further inside of you—watching how you fluttered, clenched but still opened with every slow push in. “So tight but begging for it,” he spoke, the softness in his tone now replaced with a breathy need.
“Please—nngh.” You whimpered, spreading your thighs wider as his fist pushed inside of you, stretching you like never before.
His knuckles brushed that spongy spot and you cried out, “Jay—!” You sobbed, tears brimming your eyes as your nails dug into the exam bed. He lowered and caressed your thigh with his other hand that was once on your clit.
“Take it, take it for me.” He murmured with his eyes on your blissed out expression, watching for any moment pain crossed your pretty face.
“G-Gonna—can’t—“ you babbled at the feeling of his fist, slow thrust stretching open your full cunt with every drag of his fist.
“I know,” he whispered as you whimpered, watching how you were already about to cum again. “Cum on my fist, since you took me so well.” He praised, lips brushing against the skin of your thigh but not kissing though something in him craved to.
You let out a wrecked moan, pitched so high it would be heard outside these walls then it rushed out of you again, making your hips buck off the bed—tears streaming down your cheeks.
“That’s it. Good, so good for me.” He moaned at how you looked and pulled his fist out carefully, watching as your juices dripped down from your ass to the exam bed.
He saw your eyes closed, pants leaving your mouth heavily, body shaking harshly and a huge part of him wanted to taste you off his knuckles, seeing how messy you’d made his hand.
Then the other part cleaned his hand and brought a towel to the warm water of the sink, squirting some vaginal safe soap on the towel and returning to you, cleaning between your legs.
“S’too much.” You whimpered quietly, feeling your thighs burn from how hard you were clenching your body. Jay nodded, “I know. I got you, just lay back. You don’t have to do anything.” He promised and cleaned between your thighs, slowing his touch when cleaning your beautiful dark folds.
He took the towel back to the sink and rinsed it off, bringing it back to you to get off any lingering residue off—then let some lukewarm towels rest on your thighs and stomach.
He hoped you come back, so he could see more of you of course but also…to stuff you with his cock that for the first time—hardened because of a patient.
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