Conk

i love olruggio witchhat so much. he’s a sun-coded black cat. he’s a lethally chronic procrastinator. he’s a girl dad. he lies to the police. his magic is warm. his kids bully him and they’re right. he’s in a decade-long magically induced situationship, but he doesn’t know it’s cursed and he’s in it for love of the game. he’s lowkey a celebrity but chooses to live in a cottage on the countryside with said situationship and their four children. he sleeps on the couch. he was a crazy child. he’s a bit of a picky eater. he has chronic anemia and is two minutes away from passing out at all times. he hates hurting things so much that he struggles to kill a disgusting giant leech. he’s a burnt out gifted kid. he is begrudgingly excellent at one of his jobs and on-purposely atrocious at the other one. he has a baby face and is nearly unrecognizable without his beard. he carries an enormous, inexplicable guilt. he’s the sky’s kindest, most radiant star. he’s the perfect man

being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.

happy first day of pride everyone

hey um. so sorry to tell you this, but op of that post plays toys kinda weird. yeah you should just block them, that's not how normal people play with toys

this is what shipping discourse sounds like to me

sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.

first 5 faceless emojis are how your summers gonna go

I will lock in tomorrow like nobody has ever locked in before