witch hat manga hurts so so bad but we have 2 stay strong bc ONE DAY we’re gonna get that first splash page fullbody orufrey crying hug drawn in crisp 4k by shirahama and it is gonna hit like a tractor trailer going 90 on a country backroad.

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witch hat manga hurts so so bad but we have 2 stay strong bc ONE DAY we’re gonna get that first splash page fullbody orufrey crying hug drawn in crisp 4k by shirahama and it is gonna hit like a tractor trailer going 90 on a country backroad.

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loved to the point of invention
thinking about them...

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idk. something that feels important in the distinction that at this point it's not even that qifrey believes he's unloveable -- olruggio's steadfastly, unwaveringly loving him no matter what bullshit qifrey has thrown at him for twenty years may at long last have sunk in lol, it feels like there's maybe a hard-earned grace along the lines of 'you loving me and whether I deserve it or not is not something that's within my right or ability to choose for you or change' acceptance that has developed there, and in recent times it has also let him understand and accept that the children he's raising care for him -- it's that he can't let himself take that love in. it's not that the love isn't there or isn't for him; his life is filled to the BRIM with it, so much so it almost hurts even to consider, and he knows it completely. but he can't touch it directly. he can't let it touch him at the core or ever relax into it. he'll literally die if he does, and everything and everyone he cares about might go down with him. it's such a good metaphor -- for many things, but especially this nuance of how trauma can hit you, that precise aspect of hypervigilance. like yeah. that is exactly how that feels.
in agott's defense what WAS she supposed to do after this? not fall inconsolably and indelibly in love with coco forever? unrealistic impossible and infeasible honestly
Oh, you charmer <3
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I have about nine active wips on the go right now I keep switching between and they're about an even split as to what tense they're in. so yeah you could say that I like to engage in extreme sports
I want more Beldaruit+Qifrey stuff that doesn't shy away from the tension between them.
Like. Beldaruit loves Qifrey. There's no question of this. Just as there's no question that Qifrey's life is undoubtedly better because Beldaruit took him in, and he obviously respects him a great deal. But Qifrey has never been able to fully trust Beldaruit, and for good reason.
It was such a good read!
One thing that keeps me awake at night is that chapter 38 strongly insinuates that Beldaruit knows about Treefrey situation. Chapter 59 suggests that Beldaruit knows more about Qifrey's secrets that he lets on.
And I think we all agree that all of Beldaruit's cards are not on the table yet.
I do wonder if he wanted Qifrey to become his apprentice because he figured out the tree-situation early. Or maybe he figured out what happened to Qifrey after Qifrey was already living in the Great Hall. In any case he never talked about this with Qifrey.
As you said, Qifrey was allowed to become a witch because there was no sign of forbidden magic on his body. Beldaruit admitting, even to Qifrey only, that he knows the truth would only show more hypocrisy and problems Witch Society has.
And yet when Coco is hurt, Qifrey goes straight to Beldaruit. He asks Beldaruit to have an eye on her. After Easthies' accident during Siver Eve arc, Beldaruit wonders where Qifrey is because Beldaruit knows he can rely on him.
Like. They care for each other. They respect each other. They seem to understand each other perfectly and at the same time they seem to not understand each other at all. I need more Qifrey-Beldaruit moments chdkfbjdbdkddnjddh
Ah yes, the 'Bel already knows about the tree' theory... I can't deny that the hints are there, but I always hope it isn't true. If he knows that Qifrey's life is on the line and is still framing his search for answers as a dangerous thing that should be discouraged, I'd be really upset with him lmao. Although considering that he's so staunchly against mixing magic and healing that he won't even let Riliphin learn how to make a poultice for his bedsores, it would be in character for him to want Qifrey to give up on finding a cure for himself in favor of just continuing to manage his condition quietly. :') Wonder if he'd still feel that way if he knew the exact lengths Qifrey has to go to in order to stay alive...
That said, I do think it's pretty unlikely for him to have known from the start. Qifrey is, as far as we know, the first attempt at this specific kind of forbidden magic - he slipped under everyone's radar because no one knew it was possible, and so didn't know what kind of signs to look for. Bel was also fairly young when he took Qifrey in and wasn't a Wise yet, so it seems like a stretch that he would have just guessed 'Silverwood parasite' off the bat. Seems more likely to be something he pieced together over their many years of living together, particularly after it fully sprouted at the Tower of Tomes and Qifrey had to start worrying about it being an on-going problem.
Also I feel like it's exactly because Bel and Qifrey largely understand each other that they can't fully trust each other lmao. They both know that where the other's priorities and exceptions lie, and they know where they agree and disagree on those things, so when they clash they choose to act around one another rather than try to talk and compromise.
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there are many things to hate about AI ao3 comments but the one that pisses me off the most for some reason is that they usually just recount what happens in the fic with some generic 'and I thought that was awesome' thrown on haphazardly. like yeah bitch. I know what happens in it. I wrote the fucking thing
hope