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friendly reminder that suspiciously large horses are not allowed here

shitpostgenerator would have won the Trojan War.

Five minutes left, on his microwave rice

mike’s hard bubble tea

It’s just marbles

Are you a fisherman because I think you’re a reel catch

You spelled real wrong.

Throw this one back into the water boys we’ve got ourselves a city slicker

hawaiian shirt + dark bags under eyes is a good look… it says yeah i would really love to be carefree and relaxed right now but certain circumstances have made that impossible

mike’s soft lemonade

mike’s tender lemonade

mike’s not to me not if it’s you lemonade

having a job is very weird bcos by and large your coworkers will be a variety of ages and you will not all be at the same stage of life. your coworker will be like, well I’m off home to spend time with my husband & child, what are you going to do with your evening? and you’re like, well, I plan on playing Rollercoaster Tycoon for as much as it as possible

you know those lawn mower robots? vegetarian roombas.

the implication in this post that regular roombas consume meat is frankly kind of terrifying

big portion of dust is in fact human skin so regular roombas consume mostly just human skin.

please get this off of my dashboard