welcome to the den

the whole premise of enemies to lovers, fated rivals rising up through ranks together is sweet. amazing, even. nothing very unique, but if it had been done well, could've been a solid main plot. instead, the show gives into the gimmick of showing repetitive scenes and almost little to no hockey. surely someone on the internet has counted how much screentime our leads' jobs and passion (or so they claim) got. and i can bet my right pinky that it's not over 20 minutes. 30 at most.

talking about repetitive scenes, someone else was saying that you can skip big chunks of entire episodes and still not miss anything too important. and i think that goes to show that obviously time was wasted horrendously, but also character development is in the trenches. i mean, you can pick a hollanov scene from e1 and e6 and i can assure you that someone who hasn't seen the show already would not be able to tell which one is from which episode.

the point is: their dynamic seems so flat and unchanged that it confused me when we got that confession scene from ilya in russian because nowhere did the narrative hint at him having fallen for shane & shane for his part seems to have the same reaction to everything and everyone so who tf knows if he's in love with ilya?

which brings me to the point of the main leads' personalities. now look, shane and ilya are two different types of people. and as much as i gravitate towards those who are more outspoken like ilya, i have many favourite characters who are also introverts and/or shy. so tell me why hollanov — if you strip them of their physical features (face card or wtv) and "ice hockey!" as a personality trait — seem to appear like wet, soggy cardboard cutouts? ilya, for having called shane boring, is nothing but a slightly douchebag-y shut-in on his best day. no, him having emotional baggage and family issues is not a personality. it’s ilya's circumstance, sure. it is also many people's circumstance.

and shane... oh, shane... do not tell me the reason he has no hobbies, no interests, no traits individual to him that make him worthy of being a protagonist in the story other than the fact that he's gay in a very homophobic sport environment, is because he's autistic. that's not how it works, that's bad representation. i know ASD will never look the same on every person but even low functioning autistic people have personalities that make them them. shane's neurodivergent condition cannot be his entire identity.

and the whole shtick of straight women borderline fetishizing shane as a pillow princess or damsel in distress while ilya is this hansome cocky hunk, peak of masculinity is so.... fucking weird! yeah, shane is the bottom in their sex life. but why are we acting like top-bottom dynamics has anything to do with how they act outside the bedroom??? (aka. some of you are trying wayyy too hard to paint heteronormative dynamics of shane being the woman and ilya the man on a gay relationship and it shows. weirdo)

don't even get me started on the audacity of this level of misogyny in HR. look, i get it, it's a m|m show centered around a male sport. but if you have female characters who do play an important role in the daily lives of the leads (like svetlana) or are integral to the coming out, self discovery journey of the leads (like rose), do not treat them like accessories or means to an end. because that is a very shitty thing to do. the fact that shane has rose being a stepping stone in coming to terms with the fact that he wants to date ilya. or ilya being allowed to treat svetlana like the 'easy option', to even think about marrying her to facilitate what is essentially an affair. MASSIVE RED FLAGS!! or if you're going to make your men act like jerks, at least let the narrative paint it as a wrongdoing and let them face the consequences. but no, apparently the fandom is okay with shipping them as lesbians in a backdrop for their gay royal wedding and call it a night.

the last thing i want to will ramble about today is the overarching plot of HR... or the lack thereof. i mean, alright if them coming to terms with their sexuality and working towards being in a relationship is the plot, it's handled horribly. the constant repetitive scenes of them checking calenders during off-season training and then immediately cutting to them fucking when they play against e/o is boring af. i actually yawned. i watched some of the interviews with hudson and connor and even if they have banter and a teeny tiny spark between them irl, the way their characters are written absolutely snuffs that out too. lovely. so now we have no interesting internal conflict except the homophobia and no external conflict either. and the story never lets us fucking sit with the feelings shown on screen, never lets us immerse into the hollanov world. it's all just running towards an end goal that feels predictable and uninteresting in the grand scheme of things. like– come on! how do they go nearly a decade without anything interesting happening except for the sex? and suddenly in e5 i'm supposed to believe they are madly in love? WHY?????!

what does shane see in ilya except the first person he practiced sodomy with and the guy who regularly plays mind games with him on the ice and is his rival team's captain? what does ilya see in this guy he canonically calls "boring" other than a convenient escape from his shitty family?

alternatively: why did i spend 7+ hours watching a story that ultimately went nowhere?

Closest match: Mimivirus LCMiAC02 genomic sequence Common name: Mimivirus

because i will do (/have done) anything to be more like this asshole, including relapsing for what i'm now realising was a lot longer than a few weeks (which is how long i was acting on thoughts i already had). yes, i'm basically doing that one tweet where op's parents told them the mayor from the nightmare before christmas eats his veggies so they should too, but like, to myself about ed recovery. anyway, if my favourite (probably) anorexic character recovered, what would he eat? heavily influenced by my tastes, but you know i'm right. i know in canon era he wouldn't be following modern food trends, but shh.

breakfasts

cheese croissant with hot chocolate

eggs benedict

pain au chocolat

sourdough toast (cultured butter and jam/creamy clover honey, melted camembert and fig chutney, goats cheese and caramelised peach)

coddled eggs

beans on toast with cheese

granola with yoghurt

quiche (spinach ricotta and pumpkin)

raisin toast with butter

porridge

pan con tomate

lunches/dinners (or components thereof)

soups (pumpkin, minestrone, pea, noodle, potato leek)

pasta (aglio olio, real carbonara, homemade pesto, pumpkin ravioli, al limone)

grilled cheese on sourdough with caramelised onions and honey mustard

cheese board

huge pile of dolmades

fish with lemon juice and/or dill

roasted carrots and parsnips

grilled asparagus (after all, it's in season /ref)

baked potatoes with gzik

literally any bean recipe with sourdough toast

baguette with goats cheese (pesto and sundried tomato optional)

oven charred broccolini with dates and sumac

spanakopita

sushi (avocado, tuna)

super smooth mashed potatoes made with cream

vegetable pie

salads (caesar, waldorf, green goddess, ones with beans, ones with fruits, ones with crispy rice, etc. like the actually good ones.)

neapolitan pizza

snacks (savoury)

olives

grilled halloumi

pita and hummus

slivers of parmesan cheese

crusty bread with olive oil and balsamic

feta saganaki in phyllo

caviar blinis

radishes

nuts (walnuts, pecans, hazelnuts)

avocado halves with reduced balsamic

focaccia

soft pretzel

bruschetta

capers

cubes of aged or smoked cheddar cheese

snacks (sweet)/desserts

tiramisu

fruit (especially figs, pomegranates, mandarin oranges, grapes, and cherries)

dates boiled in honey with a ricotta walnut filling and flaky salt

lemon drizzle loaf

soft meringue with lemon curd

black forest cake

chocolate (dark or milk, highest quality possible)

blood orange sorbet

macarons

cream tea/scones with cream and jam

chocolate lava cake

cheesecake

gelato

creme brulee

drinks

affogato mocha

absinthe

breakfast tea or earl grey with milk and one sugar

sweet red wine

san pellegrino aranciata

herbal teas (various, mostly home remedies)

sweet fruity cocktails

viennese hot chocolate

sparkling water in the fanciest glass available (fancy glass not optional)

sake

Catching up on some art here’s some more tsh I never posted

🌿𝓛𝓸𝓸𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓯𝓮𝓻𝓷𝓼 🌿