spooky juice

Ah man I wanted to go out and bite people but the chain on my collar doesn’t reach out to the sidewalk so I can only go in a circle around the lawn

wow i didn’t know they got married congrats

love wins

Hate the glorification of toxic relationships on this fucking site

this is an act of terrorism

Weaponized incompetence my ass just weaponize it back. Once my dad tries to pull the “but I don’t know how to clean the counters as well as you” on my mom and she said “ok honey I’ll show you” and she made him stand in the kitchen and watch her clean the counters. Then she pulled out a bottle of chocolate syrup and proceeded to spray the entire kitchen in chocolate, hand him the sponge and said “okay now it’s your turn”

Weaponized Pettiness is an appropriate response to Weaponized Incompetence.

I be like "omg, i have so much to do" and then go lay down

you motherfuckers better be lifting with your legs and not your back