obama is fucking done with all this bullshit in that last gif

this is your captain speaking, AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING.

omfg straight boys complaining about high waisted shorts and crop tops… have you SEEN a girl in high waisted shorts and crop tops?????? have u seen girls’ LEGS in high waisted shorts!???? have u seen a little peek of tummy in a crop top???????? what is WRONG WITH YOU

i think straight boys might be gay

of course they are, stick a drywipe marker pen within 5 yards of them see how long it takes them to draw a dick on something

i think you’re suffering from a lack of vitamin me

"in case of fire use stairs" that’s ridiculous.  how the FUCK am i supposed to put this fire out with these stairs

imagine if your fridge did what you do to it everyday, every half hour goes to your room opens the door and stares at you for 5 minutes then leaves

There is a very very large difference between Tumblr internet humor and actual humor

And it becomes obvious every time you try to tell a joke in real life.

those cashiers that let you buy things when you’re missing a few cents deserve to live forever

Sunday nights are the worst you go to bed with that horrifying feeling of impending doom like “I’ve got a whole fucking week ahead”

you should open the door

if you ever want to hold a boys hand, just tell them you could beat them arm wrestling. they can’t back down from that challenge