like, pillows!

Uh

future theory: superbowl planners in the coming years after 2014 decide that traditional sports are passé and instead of a football game done by actual athletes the seinfeld cast will be the players. it will be called the jerrybowl and every year newman fucks everything up

I’m not gay

Look at my arm right here.  You see that?  I got that when I was 13 years old, and I’ll tell you something: I regret it, cause these don’t come off.  I have weird cheese looking things coming off the sides of my head because I loved that color then.  So I get the hair color, and I go in there and I’m a little drunk… and I said, “Gimme that color, I love that color… ” And now I have weird cheese looking things coming off the sides of my head, Kaji.  Don’t get cheese implants, that’s what I’m telling you.  Play soccer.  Kaji, take a look at my eyes.  You know what those are right there?  That’s a color eye surgery I will never be able to get back.  I got that color permanently as my eye color.  I am an idiot.  I’ve got confusing shit all over my body.  It’s like going to a paint store.  Because I was drunk one night.  Don’t live like me.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0L8XbidKHnP