This Adult Life.

Springtime in Japan

"I'm tired of adventures. How about we just get married and stay home?"

Waiting to Exhale (1995)

Think about it. In real life, the person that's bottling up all their emotions is not the one that's brooding in the corner and snaps at you for trying to befriend them. More often than not, it's that friendly person in your circle who makes easy conversation with you, laughs with you, and listens and gives advice whenever you're upset. But you never see them upset, in fact they seem to have endless patience for you and everything around them—and so you call them their friend, you trust them. And only after months of telling them all your secrets do you realize…

In it, Lord Ruthven returns and confronts a female Ghoul called Zizika who raises the dead, and they become deadly rivals over human prey. Female vampires and a fairy are added into the fray.

So in 1851 Dumas wrote fanfic for The Vampyre and created several OCs for it.

So let’s have a little conversation about a rather troubling topic when it comes to fandoms and fan-works.

I have been writing fanfiction for most of my life, even before I knew there was a name for it. Now, I didn’t get much notice until I joined the Tom Hiddleston/Loki fandom. But as soon as I started gaining reads I noticed a strange and troubling trend. The amount of comments regarding my OC’s and why they are “Mary-Sues” We all know what the word means in regards to fanfiction and female characters so I don’t really have to define it for you.

Now, the issue with this is simply why do people feel this way about my characters and the black female characters belonging to other black writers?

A lot of the anons, I have received have pointed to the reason they’re  ‘Mary-Sues’ is because they are simply self-inserts of me…. because they are black…. like me…(wut?)

Let’s talk about that point first, shall we?

That statement implies many troubling and borderline racist thoughts.

First of all, so all black girls are alike? Fictional or real, all black women are the exactly the same and must fit into some box of ‘blackness’ That is just silly and ridiculous. Most of the time me and my characters have little in common other than our race, they don’t look like me, they don’t sound like me, speak like me, or behave like me. And this is true of other fanfiction writers you have black female OC’s 

So by that logic, if you’re a white woman and you have a white female character, thus she has to be a Mary Sue because by making her white means you are just making her you, right?

Do you understand how ridiculous that sounds?

You are seeing my race, and then seeing my characters who share only that in common with me and you are saying ‘all these niggas are the same.’

The next point I want to talk about focuses on how I describe my female characters.

 I’ve gotten flack for describing my black OFC’s as ‘beautiful’ and that alone makes them broken characters. (for some reason?)

Now, lets sit and chat about all the ways that this in itself is more racist dribble.

I describe my black OC’s as beautiful because that is what they are. I like to write beautiful women, from overweight Lilith to limp and delicate Alex. I simply like writing good looking black women.

There thousands of fanfictions with original white female characters that are described as beautiful, pretty, sexy and alluring. So please tell me why, when I do the same thing it makes me a horrible writer?

I talk about how flawless their skin  because how often are white female characters described as having ‘milky, silky skin’ ‘pale and perfect’ ‘rosy and supple’ honestly the list goes on. It happens so often in novels and fics that we don’t even notice it, because white female characters are expected to be seen as beautiful. White beauty is pushed on us  in all cultures around the world. We are to believe that white is right, and the celebration of pale skin while tearing down blackness is okay…

But as a black writer who creates black characters when I say things such as…

“Her marvelous, smooth, unblemished skin….[Playing Dangerous Chapter 4]

“Who to his delight had that same shade of beautiful brown skin as Alex-” [We are Still Cardinal Sinners Chapter 19]

Somehow means my original characters are ‘Mary-Sues’?

I’m going to sit her and tell you, yes you white fangirl…exactly what you mean when you say that to me or any other writer who has a brown OC. You honestly mean…

“Your OC can’t be beautiful AND black, lol that doesn’t mix, thus they are a bad impossible character.”

Yes, you kick and scream and put your hand to your chest in mock shock that I would ever accuse you of meaning that, but what you are saying is effectively “You niggers can’t be beautiful, there is no way that my white fave character would find your dark eyes, nappy hair, big nose, and fat lips (the same fat lips that you suck on  glass bottles and draw your lip line over to get but let me digress, bitch) as beautiful.” That is what you mean, when you say that in a comment on a fanfiction that you don’t even have to read.

Moreover, we get comments such as :

“Why do you have to make your OC black?” 

“I could relate more to the story if you wrote someone white” 

“Can you write something other than black girls?”

Excuse me, for writing stories with US in it. Excuse me for wanting to be part of this fandom as a black person. You can go on any fanfiction website and find hundreds of fics in one fandom with a Canon Character X White girl OC.  That is fine and good, but don’t you dare come to me and tell me that I’m the one in the wrong because my OC’s are of my race.

Bitch, can you write something other than a white oc? No, I thought so.

You might read all this and think it’s just fanfiction, why do I care so much. Many reasons…

We can’t even enjoy a fandom without having to deal with racism. We can’t even write fics without having to deal with this shit. We can’t even thirst after that one character or that fine actor without you, yes you white girl reading our stories and coming over with your red pen and crossing out out character and saying “You’re not worthy.” 

If you have those kind of issues with fake characters, from fake made up stories,  then what kind of issues do you have with us in real life?  Hum? If it boils your blood to see.. a fictional character paired with a black OC you need to look at yourself and ask “What kind of deep ass racism do I have?” because, I bet you haven’t just attacked black girls in your fandom you’ve more than likely bullied black girls in real life.

This isn’t just about me and my writing this very thing has happened to tons of black fanfction writers because I have seen it too many times in multiple fandoms. So don’t sit and tell me it’s just a few silly girls because this shit is a ripple of real life issues.

I’ll end this rant with a story:

The other day my white boyfriend asked me what my Game of Thrones OC looks like and I started to describe her and he laughed and said “All of those characters are just you.” and I stopped and looked dead in his eyes and I said… “Would you have said that shit to me if I was white?” he stopped an then looked down and then said. “Shit….no I wouldn’t have. And I’m sorry…” My boyfriend isn’t in any fandoms, my boyfriend isn’t a ‘fanboy’ in that moment he had in his head that white was default and anything else is simply ‘other’ 

 And then he realized how fucked up that was…

Realize how fucked up it is and stop fucking saying that shit. Judge my OC’s based on their actions, judge my writing based on my talent, judge my story on its elements…. but don’t base your judgements on race, because if you do, you’re honestly a racist asshole.