broken piano keys.

“Cuz, I’m bored. That’s why.” 

Catra had found a new plaything, one she was intent on not letting go of. She didn’t know how to strike up a conversation on the street anyway, because fighting with people was always easier than talking to them: see her entire relationship with Adora. 

Catra noticed how sensitive the other girl was beig, and her lip twitched for a moment as she thought it over. She wondered just how far she could push this. Of course if she went too far the fun would be over, which is why she backed off. 

“You have friends? That’s surprising.” 

Catra didn’t know how to be nice.  Rather, she didn’t want to be. However, she didn’t want the other girl to get away from her that easily either. 

“What friend? I bet they’re a nerd just like you. Nerds in love, it’s funny.” 

“What?”

Out of all the things that Catra could have offered as her explanation for this entire situation, simply being bored was not what Kaede expected. So, it only served to infuriate and upset her all the more.

“I can’t believe... I can’t believe you’d just start all of this because you were just bored! What’s wrong with you?!”

All she wanted to do was leave, and for a moment Kaede had hoped that Catra’s sudden pause in her assault would allow Kaede to flee. Yet, the other girl just kept throwing metaphorical curve balls, and Kaede continued to get hit in the face by them.

The shining, burning sun, a beach with rolling waves of blue, and a beach full of seashells waiting to be discovered. It was a populated scene, with individuals ranging from all sizes and ages. Two teenagers were no exception, though one of the pair stood out more than the other; Shuichi, clad in black even on such a hot day, made Kaede a bit concerned. How could she not? Wearing a regular swimsuit, Kaede was prepped for the outing, but seeing Shuichi sweat worried her.

“It might not be what others expect, but everyone has something special that makes them happy, and even if it’s a seasonal thing for the majority of us, it shouldn’t be taken away for that reason alone from you. It isn’t that unusual for Christmas specials to be playing in July. It always felt strange, with what the weather outside would be like, but there’s always someone to appreciate it — in this case, it would be perfect to get you excited for what would be a handful of months away. The year does always seem to have a habit of racing by in the blink of an eye, and suddenly, we’re back in the winter again”.

And that without the anticipated festivities unique to Spirale that the Stars might throw in as a bonus. To amplify her experience, he hoped they might be granted that, and without any later twists, this year. “They’re the highlight of the year for a lot of people, you’d be hard pressed to go a day without hearing about them when the date draws near. Maybe we can go together some time of if you’d like — there are always an enormous number of activities spread across the city. It would be impressive to check them all out in just the couple of weeks”.

“Yeah, I get it!”

Kaede nodded, a self-assured smile resting on her expression.

“It’s similar to how when stores put out items for specific holidays and seasons before they actually roll around. That way, people can get pumped up and prepare for them in advance!”

She enjoyed seeing preparations for Christmas well in advance herself, so perhaps she was speaking from personal experience, but it didn’t curb her enthusiasm whatsoever.

If he could put even one person’s mind at ease, or make their day in any small manner, that was enough for him; the comfort of others was something of great value. It assured him that he was doing his self-appointed job right, that they could carry on with one less thing to worry about in lifetimes littered with concern and issue.

“I haven’t seen it personally, but being the home of so many, there’s bound to be plenty of groups who go around carolling. It shouldn’t be hard to find them — when the time comes, you could get lucky and find some event postings on social media about gathering to practice. I don’t think it’s a bad idea though; even if there’s a particular message to the season, there are plenty of other times during the year that could do with a little lift. Like if you’re having a bad day but a Christmas song brings a smile to your face, I don’t see the problem with that. You’re doing something that makes you happy”.

He might not have caught how direct her admission, following the line of thinking that it were an example, or a daydream unacted upon. It was the natural assumption, but still, his words weren’t falsified by that change in context. Should she listen to the jingles of a season months in advance for comfort, it hurt no-one and had the opposite effect on Kaede herself; unusual, but all pros without cons.

“Other than the standard, there are some which are unique to the city. At the end of Summer, there’s an event in Golden that the locals call the Sunset Festa — I believe there’s a Spring equivalent, but I was tending to some things and couldn’t attend, so it could be a case of misremembering. Oh, and the Celebration of Life. It happens at the end of October, like this city’s own way of celebrating Halloween while accommodating the means we’re more used to. There’s no shortages of holidays — perfect for someone who enjoys the excitement and getting to celebrate all manner of days".

“Oh, that sounds lovely!”

Kaede was all too pleased by the things he described. Caroling, getting together with others, and all the other joyous things of the holiday season... she just couldn’t wait!

“Yeah, so long as you’re enjoying yourself.”

Kaede paused to listen quite carefully, as she was pleasantly curious to learn more about this island. Sure, it was a scary and seriously unsettling predicament to be trapped somewhere unknown (and she ought to know), but to be able to converse like this with others was almost calming enough for her to ignore it all.

“Wow! That’s a lot, but, it sounds like so much fun.”

“What would you need me for? I’m pretty much useless.” 

What could she possibly need him for in the middle of the night. Shuichi’s entire face turned red as he realized. he wanted to run away right then, but leaving Kaede alone was the worst thing he could do. 

Well, it wasn’t the worst thing he could… No. Kaede and him had finally agreed to be friends he wasn’t going to ruin it. Besides, there was no way someone as bright as her… The truth was she didn’t even need him. 

“I’ll just… I know I’ll just sleep on your couch…” Shuichi volunteered. He was starting to shake horribly now. It was just a girl. He didn’t need to act like he was afraid of her. Then again Kaede could be pretty scary. “If you’re feeling lonely in the middle of the night. You can come get me. If you need a friend… I mean, if you need a friend.” 

“I...” Kaede caught herself before she continued speaking, her entire face slowly beginning to burn a bright red. “Well, uh....”

Kaede swallowed, hard.

“I don’t... think you’re useless.”

Slowly, awkwardly, they entered the apartment. Kaede had no idea if her roommates were here or not, but hoped that only herself and Shuichi were inside. She let go of his hand, though not without their fingers lingering for a moment too long.

“That’s okay,” she began.

“Just knowing you here is such a relief...”

Catra’s face was bruised up from the two times she had been struck but besides that, she was having the time of her life. “I’m not touching you!” She said as she held a claw just short of Kaede’s face. Truly, she was the master of all evil.

“Because I’m bad. Because I’m a murderer. Because…” She was desperate for attention. Catra just could not leave things alone. Until just now she was spending another melancholy day, ignoring everyone else and being ignored by them in return and now she was having the time of her life. “Don’t you know all cats are evil?”

The cat smiled and withdrew her claws finally. “Just kidding, but hey what are you doing alone anyway? Do you not have any friends? God you’re lame.”

Maybe if Kaede was paying attention, she could have actually escaped this strange encounter; maybe if she was paying attention, she would have heard all the things that Catra was saying. Instead, Kaede just wanted to not be touched by those claws, by anyone, by anything.

“Ughhh! Just go away already!”

Even when Catra withdrew, Kaede was still upset.

“What does it matter to you?!”

“I was trying to go see my friend before you came along!”

“Heavy…”

The weight of another person’s hand in his own. This person he relied so much on was finally relying on him. Shuichi was so overwhelmed for a moment he mumbled it without thinking. 

“W-wait, I didn’t mean that like you’re fat or anything. IT’s fine even if you are heavy because most of your weight is in your chest-” 

Shuichi felt like dying all of a sudden, even though right then and there he had already made a promise to live for her sake from now on. He stayed silent for the rest of the walk home, too embarrassed to say anything. 

Shuichi looked up from his feet to see where they had walked. 

“Your room is right next to mine. Oh.”

He said with a tiny gasp. 

“Well, if you need me to come over in the middle of the night then I can. I mean, not like that. What I mean is…” 

Shuichi quickly tried to explain himself, and just as quickly kept making things worse. “You were crying just now. Do you… umm… do you not want to be alone tonight?” 

Kaede was barely paying attention, leaning on Shuichi and holding his hand, far too exhausted to focus on much more than walking in a straight line. She had been to her new apartment before, but had not gone out of her way to meet her roommates, much less her neighbors. So, Shuichi’s sudden realization was what snapped her to attention (instead of his fumbling of words earlier).

“Huh...?”

She looked at the apartment door, then Shuichi, and back again. Suddenly, she smiled.

“Oh, what a relief!” Realizing what she just said, Kaede blushed. “I-I mean... I’m glad we live near each other... incase we need each other...”

Just like Shuichi, she began to misspeak; could they blame it on exhaustion?

“Why can’t I - ? It’s cuz because I’m bored and have nothing going on with my life.“

That was almost a bit too honest. Even Catra seemed to notice, recoiling for a moment.

"Whoa, awkward. Said a little bit too much there.”

However, even a brief moment of self-awareness was too much for her. She would much rather go on playing the bad girl and the tease. Besides, with the amount of people watching she had an audience now.

Catra decided to push things a little bit further. It was a temptation she was always dealing with, she hated taking things seriously, so she played, and played, and played until something broke.

She drew out her claws, and swiped trying to leave just one tiny scratch on Kaede’s face. Just enough to draw blood.

“Come on, you’re no fun at all.” Catra complained, before pointing at her own cheek. “Hey, princess you’ve got something on your face right there. No, no, right over there.”

“Well, I, I, uh, uhm...”

Kaede was floundering, both from the shock of the overall situation, and how the other teenager suddenly, unexpectedly recoiled.

Awkward was an understatement.

If Kaede had been paying close enough attention, perhaps she could have used this moment to flee. Yet, such a suggestion was merely an afterthought, and it was far too late by the time Kaede came to that realization. So, the sudden cut of Catra’s claws caused the blonde to yelp.

“What did you do that for?!” Kaede exclaimed, as if she hadn’t hit Catra twice by now.

“No, stop that! Don’t touch me!”

at the offer, djeeta excitedly took one of Kaede’s hands and held it between her own, brown eyes glittering at the idea of learning the piano. “Would you really?” the prospect of being able to play an instrument for enjoyment, without the extra use of utilizing it in battle, thrilled her. the grand piano was too large to take into battle anyway. although, it wasn’t as if she couldn’t enjoy playing music normally on the harps and guitars she used in battle. it just felt different in a way she couldn’t describe. “I’d love it if you could teach me!”

the skyfarer’s excitement calmed and she blinked, head tilting to the side as she nodded. “I did,” she confirmed, blinking a few more times as she processed the pause and question. 

“Ah, wait wait! It’s not what you think. We don’t smack them over the head with them!” she hurriedly explained, avoiding the one strange guitar classified as an axe (she hadn’t used it in that manner). “It’s more…the sounds that we use to damage our enemies! The music!” djeeta paused again to think about what she said. “We don’t play badly, either!”

Kaede didn’t mind the touch-- she was often overstepping others’ boundaries herself, anyway. In fact, it made her smile widen. She had never taught anyone how to play the piano before, she had never even thought about it. It sounded like it could be so much fun, so before Kaede could even verbally respond, she was already nodding.

“Yes, yes! I mean, I’ll certainly try! I’ve never even tried to teach anyone to play before-- but, no one’s ever asked me to teach them before!”

“I’m sure it will be fine if you’ve played other instruments before... even if you, uhm, fought with them...”

Kaede trailed off, but was soon relieved to hear that things were not as they seem. Or, that they probably were. It was so much easier to think that way, so, Kaede did just that.

“But fighting is so much fun. It’s the best way to make friends.” 

Catra didn’t look like a person who had any friends, though.  She looked like she had been waiting for someone to start a fight. She looked deeply angry. She looked every bit the cat, playing with the mouse instead of killing it and eating it, she had no intention of letting Kaede go.

Her cheeks were still red, it was impossible to tell if she was blushing or Kaede’s little slap had hurt that much. 

Catra raised her hand like she might slap Kaede back, but all she did was end up cupping the girl’s cheek. She held onto it like it was precious china she was afraid to break. 

“Is that what you want? To be left alone? But isn’t that you know… lonely?”

Catra had no idea what she was doing. She was just, pressing every button possible. She just wanted to start a fight, and if she didn’t get what she wanted she’d throw a tantrum for sure.

Kaede slapped away Catra’s hand, idly noting how weird that it was fuzzy. This person probably wasn’t wearing a costume like she had originally thought. Maybe that wasn’t the best thing to focus on right now, considering that she had no escape, and her terrible attempts on deescalating the situation were failing.

“Yes! I want you to leave me alone!”

“Why can’t you just do that?!”

Kaede tried to shove her way passed Catra, but it was immediately clear the difference in strength. That did not deter the blonde, however, as she tried to shove Catra away again, and again, and again. When that didn’t work, she resorted to shouting once more.

“Well, that’s okay. I basically expected you to laugh at me, anyway.”

He expected her to laugh. He was happy when she laughed. It was much better than seeing her cry. It only hurt a little bit.

There was no way Kaede could ever like a person like him. That was why, he was smart not to tell her his real feelings. What Kaede needed right now was a friend. His feelings were - they were just awkward, and wrong, all he ever did was screw things up and get in the way.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t talk about my feelings ever. I’m really bad at it. I just wish I could…”

Shuichi did not finish that sentence. All he did was reach out and grab her hand, squeezing onto it hard. Perhaps she would get what he meant to say just from that.

He wanted to keep his promise to not let go of her. Wait, if he said that out would she think he was some kind of stalker? Then he wasn’t going to say it ever. Good idea.

“Can I walk you home? We live at the same place after all. I just…don’t want you to be alone, again, like you were in the class trial. You were scaring me a few seconds ago. Cuz, we’re friends. Yeah, that’s it we’re friends. That’s why I’m always thinking about you - that’s just what friends would do.”

Now he was coming on a little too strong.

Her head was reeling from both the pain, her earlier crying, and the thoughts still swirling around in her troubled mind. Shuichi’s touch was the only thing keeping her upright, keeping her from flying off into the air by her neck again. Kaede’s grip on him tightened, afraid to let go.

“Yeah,” she mumbled softly.

“I mean, uhm, yes please... If you don’t mind. I... I don’t want to be alone, right now.”

I don’t want to be away from you.

She couldn’t say that, no, it would be too...

Kaede sighed, heavily, still clutching onto Shuichi’s hand.

She was the only one he never should have lied to. But he lied to her. He was going to keep lying to her. Every time he was around her the only thing that came out of his mouth were lies, so how could he possibly tell her what he was really feeling right now. 

“Because I like you…”

Shuichi had a guilty look on his face, like he was confessing to some crime. However, he heard a screaming in his head as he suddenly put the brakes on that confession. 

“L-like. As a friend. You’re like my first friend so…” 

Shuichi put his hands on both of her shoulders. He was unwilling to let go, no matter how many times she beat him off. He knew he was weaker than anyone else, but at times he was oddly persistent. He was just as stubborn as she was, even if it meant they had to butt heads.

Which he did. He only meant to bop her forehead slightly against his but he did it too hard and slammed his forehead into hers. He just wanted her to stop crying for a moment. And. To see her face up close. 

“All I wanted was for us to escape the school, and then we were out, to get to know you better. I don’t think who you were in the killing game was the real you, so, why can’t we get to know each other again as real friends this time?”

“O-oh...”

Kaede wasn’t sure which of all the things he had said today hurt worse. It was akin to being stabbed with multiple spears; though she wasn’t sure where such a comparison came from within her mind, it was the first one she came to.

Suddenly, she laughed. She was exhausted, but, she let out a quick and awkward nervous laughter that she couldn’t control. Kaede didn’t know where that came from either.

Kaede covered her face, not wanting to be looked at anymore.

“I’m-- I’m sorry... I must sound ridiculous. Saying all of that stuff, laughing now...”

Then, his hands were on her shoulders. Before she could say anything else, Shuichi’s forehead slammed into her own. It hurt, it made her head spin, and a wave of exhaustion spread through her. After everything, she was suddenly so tired. Thankfully, Shuichi was close enough for her to lean upon. She didn’t understand everything he said, but, Kaede still did her best to listen.

“Some of my crewmates are in a band,” she explains, finger tapping on her cheek as she thought about her musical members. djeeta fondly remembers them, nearly shutting her eyes to transport her mind back onto the ship, to hear the chatter in the dining hall and sometimes the sound of music rings through as the voices quiet down. “I’m very blessed to have so many crewmates. They’re all unique and fun!”

“I want to play the piano one day! It looks a little daunting with so many keys, but I really want to try my hand at it!” djeeta exclaims, rather determined. there were so many instruments she wanted to try playing. “Yes! It’s kind of relaxing, when I’m not fighting with them. Plucking the strings to play music instead of with the intention to harm. I like how it feels when it’s my fingers making the sound and I can convey how I’m feeling. It just resonates that way. Does that make sense?” her head tilts to the side, a tad confused herself.

There was that word, ‘crewmates’, again. If Kaede wasn’t so focused on the music aspect of their conversation, she might have asked a few more questions...

“That’s wonderful! To play with so many people... it’s like your own orchestra!”

Kaede was almost, almost jealous.

“I know I’m biased, but the piano is really the best in my opinion. If you ever want to try it, I’d be happy to help!”

She was beaming at this point, her bright expression paralleling her similar tone. “Totally! I feel similarly when I play the piano!”

Wait.

“Oh, you wanna fight me now don’t you?”

Catra was not listening. 

Ever since she had been stuck across the face there was a huge ringing in her ears. It was the kind of annoying noise that could make anyone go crazy. Catra was smiling so each one of her sharp and pointed teeth was visible. She was thinking about how good it would taste to sink them all into one person- why did it always have to be blondes with her?

Catra reached to grab her by both shoulders. She wasn’t going to let Kaede back away or cower in some corner. She tried to push her up against the bus stop sign a few times. Being a cat, Catra knew this, even a cornered mouse would hiss at a cat. 

“What? Are you too good to fight me? You think you’re so much better than me? You think you’re good but you’re not, at least I admit it when I just want to hurt someone.”

Anyone still within the covered bus stop was currently in the middle of fleeing. Even the bus driver, whose bus came to a halt just then, saw the situation and decided to continue driving through their route. Kaede didn’t notice any of it, not with Catra within her personal space.

“No I don’t! I don’t want to fight anyone, ever, at all!”

“I just wanted to go to the store!”

Kaede tried to escape from Catra’s grip, but did not expect the claws digging into her shoulders. She didn’t really understand any of this, but, it was clearly to late for anything rational now.

Maybe things would turn out differently if Kaede apologized, but, she didn’t think about that.

“I understand entirely. Some people might consider this a safe haven if their worlds are particularly dangerous or in a bad state — or for others, it’s a chance to start over, maybe a second chance if they’ve lived their entire life before waking up here. I can’t imagine how it works in those cases, but it’s not a bad place. There’s plenty of peace to be had here; it’s something I’m thankful for everyday.

There are lots of questions we’re all bound to have, but without knowing how, or even if, we’ll ever get answers, the easiest thing is try to accept the situation we’re in. Of course, there are those who won’t be happy about it, but we don’t have much of a choice, so it’s better to just try and make the most of it! At the very least, it’s apparent the Stars aren’t bad people — far from it”.

It was an idealistic, sympathetic line of thinking that laid the benefit of the doubt at the Stars’ feet; Aichi had no qualms doing so with the recent conflict, and the implications behind it, fresh in mind. Finding someone like-minded made discussing the subject much easier, but well aware was he that there were ample who would share no such sentiments. And for plentiful valid reasons.

“Yeah! Everyone really puts all their effort into the celebration. The buildup spans weeks, even, so if you like soaking in the festive spirit, it’ll be the perfect time when it comes! Seeing and hearing about how people celebrate is special, even though we come from all walks of life, and all variety of worlds, Christmas seems almost universal, so it’s uplifting there can be a time that brings us all together”.

His words brought a bright smile to her face; initially, she had feared the island due to her own confusion, but his explanation... it sounded so nice, even comforting. She made a mental note to remember his words, especially should she become unsettled with the strange things she might encounter within Spirale.

“Yeah, I totally agree!” It was so pleasant to hear someone agree with her. Such a thing seemed to occur so rarely these days...

“I’m glad you understand.”

“Oh, I can’t wait! Just talking about Christmas gets me super excited about it! Do you know if people will go caroling here? I love all the festive music. I could listen to it throughout the whole year!”

Perhaps unfortunately for others, Kaede wasn’t exaggerating in the slightest.

It was her fault for having blonde hair. It was her fault for smiling like that. Every little thing Kaede did reminded her of Adora more and more. It was a constant irritation. An itch she could not scratch. That is what made Catra’s claws come out. 

,,, and suddenly before she could even finish her thoughts she was struck in the face. Catra’s cheek turned red, so red it could be seen underneath her fur. For a moment she was genuinely caught off guard and did not know what face to make. Then, she smiled while rubbing the swollen cheek. “You hit me.” 

Catra paused. 

“And here I thought you were all sugar and no spice.” Catra proclaimed. She actually preferred this kind of pain. She sought it out. Catra didn’t get people. She didn’t get nice people most of all. A slap across the face was easier to understand than a kiss. 

“You hit me that’s hilarious! You’re fun! Do it again! Do you wanna fight in front of all these bitches? Let’s fight!” 

“... I hit you.” 

Kaede whispered, still surprised that she had struck the other teenager.

“I can’t believe I hit you.”

People nearby were already trying to leave, fearing that the situation would escalate. They did not want to get caught in whatever drama might ensue. Kaede felt similarly, so the sudden laughing that Catra gave her was the last reaction she could have expected.

“What?! How is that hilarious? I don’t want to fight you!”