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given the current climate this pride especially i feel i must mention that i love my trans friends, i stand with trans people in the fight against transphobic legislation and those who would enforce it, and this blog is not a good place for you to be if you do not vibe with that
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On Dentists
So I can’t brush my teeth. Like, it’s the worst kind of hell. I went to the dentist for a cleaning today and I told the hygienist this, and she was wonderfully helpful.
There are some incredibly soft toothbrushes available- namely, post-surgical brushes. Running them under hot water makes them even softer.
She told me that you don’t really need to use toothpaste- it’s mostly marketing. The foam gets to me, so that is really reassuring.
She gave me two particularly soft brushes and some xylitol gum. Trident is a market brand of xylitol gum, which helps with your teeth and can make your breath smell better.
The whole purpose of brushing is to disrupt plaque buildup. You don’t need to brush twice a day, every day with toothpaste if you brush correctly- little circles, focusing on near the gums (where most plaque builds up). So if you’re having a bad sensory day and can’t brush at all, it’s not the end of the world.
Hell, you don’t even need a toothbrush if even the post-surgical ones are too harsh. Going over your teeth with the same motions using a washcloth is enough.
She wants to find a fluoride rinse that has a taste I can stand (peppermint is the only mint I can stand) but she’s not particularly worried about it.
I go to Dr. Barr in Chicago. If you can get to the State St. Macy’s, his office is nearby. He’s very kind and patient and really understanding of my needs as an autistic person. The hygienist, I don’t know her name, announced everything she was going to do before she did it, and stopped frequently to see how I was doing.
This is really the only positive dentist I’ve ever had- past dentists have been too rough and not bothered to help find ways I can actually brush.
Basically this is a glowing recommendation for Dr. Barr’s office if you’re autistic, afraid of dentists, or have sensory needs. This is a recommendation even if you don’t have any of those things.
Im actually crying i feel like this post was reblogged for me oh my god oh my god oh my lord thank you
You can also dilute your mouthwash and use it to swish around if it burns. My dentist does this so consider it dentally approved
If you were feeling guilty about your brushing habits, either due to sensory issues, pain, allergies, executive dysfunction, or just plain fatigue, here’s what you need to know about what is and isn’t necessary if your dental care!
Post-covid, I got really horrible shit going on with my gag reflex where for some reason the mint flavor of toothpaste (and only toothpaste) would make me gag so hard that I’d throw up. Then I found a kids toothpaste that’s like strawberry flavored or something, but it has the proper adult amount of flouride, so it works for me and I don’t gag much anymore. Here’s an article with some options if you’re like me lol
Dr. Gemma Wheeler lists best non-mint toothpaste options for adults. The list includes those that are truly non mint, without oils or aromas
Also for the people who can’t stand foam, the ingredient you’re looking to avoid is called SLS.
I share this frequently, but I had a very difficult time making myself floss because I hated the way that standard floss digs into my fingers when I use it. I switched to floss picks, and boom: A hated activity instantly became entirely neutral. Much easier to convince myself to do! If you have the same problem with standard floss, this might be worth a try.
Also, my most recent trip to the dentist, I was told that xylitol is a very effective treatment for dry mouth! And also that dry mouth is bad for your teeth, because it can disrupt the PH balance in your mouth, making your teeth more susceptible to cavities. While you want to be very careful to keep any xylitol products away from dogs in particular and probably pets in general, if you have dry mouth, you can try checking for products with xylitol in them.
Of note: My brother endorses the OraNusre brand of flavorless toothpaste; he says it “tastes like toothbrush”. My mom, meanwhile, is a fan of the Hello brand, which comes in different fruity and sweet flavors. Both of these are listed at the non-mint toothpaste link above.
If you prefer a toothpaste or a mouthwash for dry mouth, I use Biotène; it’s not cheap, but brushing once a day with it, a tube of Biotène toothpaste lasts me around four to five months. As far as I’m aware, it’s only in mint flavor.
If you hate mouthwash because it burns, there’s actually non-alcohol based mouthwashes that’s don’t have that problem! They’re very mild and much more sensory friendly than the other kind
me: im disabled and have limits
the smartest most intelligent guy in the world with the most hugest dick ever like so big, like the biggest dick ever, man and also soooo intelligent and thoughtful and just so so intelligent: have you tried pushing yourself?
from my own experience and also from what i hear from others, the issue seems to stem from a fundamental misunderstanding of how i know my limits. i know because i have discovered and tested them. i push them sometimes, carefully. and occasionally i get ok results or at least nothing bad happens. but sometimes something does happen, so i MUST respect my limits.
but when i talk about disability to abled people, they assume its just a bad attitude. like ive defaulted to a "i cant" attitude. and that stems from a fundamental mistrust of disabled people, and the cultural grift of acting like bad things can only exist in the mind. yes i know this is old news. anyways.
📸: putting writing back into my little wheelhouse ✨️⚘️
🫶🏾✨️ a year of free flowing projects later, an ode to :📸
📸: listed as follows -
✨️⚘️ asking for accommodations
✨️📸 2026 syllabus on communication + discernment
✨️⚘️ the antomy of advocacy
✨️🫶🏾 the anatomy of tea
✨️📸 2025 syllabus on metaphysics + connectivity
✨️🫶🏾 hoodoo therapy activity guide
✨️⚘️ grief and gratitude journal
✨️📸 homage to influential black women
✨️🫶🏾 art therapy meets fashion journal
✨️⚘️ brave young woman + all her flowers art series
📸: these links can all be found here in my cv journal✨️
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small tips for Enjoying Being Alive from someone who went from wanting to die to genuinely loving life. these won't fix your life but they'll make it a lot easier to want to live day by day. I promise.
tell yourself things you do not believe. it feels stupid at first but I've done this for years and now I believe it when I say "I'm good at this" or "I love myself" or "I deserve good shit!"
make a note of every mundane good thing that happens to you. mental or literal notes! could be as little as "the sky is a nice shade of grey, it's calming" or "I ate a piece of fruit today, I'm looking after myself" or "I talked to a friend". again, feels stupid at first, but I genuinely believe this is part of why I have so many "good days". trick your brain into storing things in your long-term memory that you wouldn't otherwise remember.
diet deficiencies can make you properly miserable. your physical health impacts your mental health more than you'd think. get some vitamins, some omega-3s and so on. whether from food or supplements. they can make quite a difference! your brain is responsible for a LOT of the way you feel, and giving it the fatty acids it needs to function at its best can go a long way.
I know these all sound like stupid junk people who have never wanted to die tell you. I know they sound like dumb "self-help" tips written by people who have suffered mild anxiety at worst.
they're coming from someone who had multiple daily panic attacks for half a decade. someone who genuinely felt like he did not deserve to live. someone who hated himself so much he convinced himself he was irredeemably evil. someone who loves being alive these days, even though it's difficult sometimes.
you truly don't have to follow any of this advice. but just read through. store it in the back of your mind. come back to it when you want. best of luck. [:
These are genuinely great! If I can add a small comment it would be to try to change scenery every now and then, take a different route home and go for walks. And make appointments to meet your friends!
ABSOLUTELY. anytime I feel myself descending into a slump where everything feels wrong and bad and gross and hard, I go on a Weird Walk. I choose a familiar destination (the dairy, the beach, a specific hill) and intentionally choose a route I've never tried before. it's crazy but it makes me feel better almost instantly, even if the new walk is worse than my usual route. your brain CRAVES new stimulation! you are a member of a species with one of the most active brains in the animal kingdom. please try not to live like a hamster.
Idk what person with chronic illness needs to hear this, but you can do things to make your responsibilities nicer for yourself. You can get an ice cream after a blood draw. You can sit down for tv time after an injection. You can pick out the bandaids that have cartoon characters on them instead of the plain ones. Being an adult doesn’t stop you from benefiting from encouragement. Go for whatever fits with your routine/abilities/budget and makes life a little better. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down etc etc
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When the brain fog kicks in..
Hey do you know what rumination is?
Rumination is probably the most common type of OCD compulsion, but I rarely see anyone talking about it. I've talked to multiple people diagnosed with OCD who didn't even recognize it as a compulsion.
Basically, if you have OCD you have terrible intrusive thoughts. They can be about anything, but common themes are fear of being a bad person, fear of hurting someone, fear of contamination. etc.
Rumination is when you get stuck in a spiral. Rumination is when you spend hours catastrophizing, overthinking, analyzing, telling yourself it's going to be okay.
I'll say it again:
Rumination is a compulsion.
Rumination is a compulsion, and that means you have to stop doing it.
I did ERP (exposure response prevention) for my OCD with a therapist! For 9 months! And it did help, but the idea didn't really click until I found this website a couple years later.
And Oh My God. It made things make so much more sense, and I was able to pull myself out of an episode even though I wasn't in therapy or on meds at the time.
Genuinely if you have OCD, or even if you suspect you have OCD, I'm begging you to read some of these articles.
Like this was genuinely life changing for me.
Here are some of the ones that were most helpful to me:
Defining Rumination
How to Stop Ruminating
ERP Exercises for Compulsive Rumination
What to Do When You're Triggered
As summer is approaching, I’d like to remind everyone that you are not entitled to ask someone to cover up their scars, self inflicted or not. I don’t care if they’re big, I don’t care if they’re noticeable, or purple, or all over their body, or what. You can’t police people’s bodies.
This also goes for my friends with feeding tubes, ostomy bags, central lines and urinary catheters. People are allowed exist in bodies that stray from the expected norm.
there's also this cycle that keeps disabled people isolated socially:
my needs are higher than it is socially appropriate to ask someone to meet when you dont know them well -> i don't know the people running any given organization or program or class at all; i am a stranger to them -> asking for what i need is punished bc it is seen as rude, bossy, or entitled -> this is so aversive to me that i simply stop trying to participate in anything.
like
we've all been there! this physical and social isolation is IMPOSED BY ABLEISM
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I saw you made a post before about how you didnt know how carers are supposed to act can you maybe give some points about it because i might need one soon and im wondering whats good and bad
Honestly I’m still figuring it out, but here are some things I think I’ve figured out so far:
- carers should not act like you are a massive inconvenience if you need help/ ask for something to be done differently
- carers are not your friend while they are at work. They can be friendly and you can be friendly back, but they aren’t your friend while at work. Again this can be tricky, and I have one carer who I’m now friends (and colleagues) with, but there are important differences. When they were still my carer there were different social rules.
-if you go to a group or event a carer should be in the background unless you’ve specified otherwise. I once went to a trans group with a cis carer who spoke (a lot) during a group discussion. This was absolutely not okay. I really struggled with this at first because it would be so rude to do this in other forms of relationships. Becoming okay with this and insistent on it has improved my life so much.
- carers don’t get a say in what you do, wear, or go unless that is part of their job (say if you need help to tell what clothes are appropriate for the weather). This is a big difference between friends and carers. If I’m going somewhere with a friend they might suggest alternatives they find more fun, a carer shouldn’t do this.
- carers should respect that they are in your home/ life. So they shouldn’t leave their stuff all over your house, even if they stay for several days at a time. They shouldn’t move things without you asking. I have a room in my house where my carers stay overnight, and a designated cupboard in the kitchen/ shelf on the fridge and I expect their things to stay in those spaces.
That’s what I can think of off the top of my head. Anyone who has a carer is free to add to this.
