stealing your fuckn trees dummy

Lxc: nonprofit ed who got promoted way too young with no management experience who is excellent at executing the mission and whose heart is in the right place but bless his heart you would not put him in charge of a pet rock because the pet rock would die. Gets away with an incredible amount of dysfunction because he's really nice. The person in charge of operations is g-d's strongest soldier and whatever they are getting paid it's not enough.

Nmj: ex military blue collar union guy. Thinks he's very fair and moral and thinks he runs a tight ship because he whips out drill sergeant stuff when people aren't acting right, meanwhile the amount of hazing going on would shame a british prep school. Confuses "yelling at staff" for "addressing the problem." If you're bringing problems with your coworkers to him then you're the one at fault. Man up and work harder. Does inspire big loyalty though.

Jiang Fengmian: checked out head of a family business who swears *he's * not the one bringing his family problems to work, it's his family doing that (he is absolutely doing that). Always says he's going to give people bonuses and always forgets. Actively jeopardizing the business with the family shit he refuses to deal with. Lets his kids and wife terrorize staff and then at most is like "now now, see this is why I can't finalize a succession plan."

Jin Guangshan: do I even need to say it.

Wen Ruohan: fully insane and delusional tech ceo who genuinely believes that like. If they don't build a superintelligence on the moon then the libs will win. Basically peter Thiel.

Wei Wuxian: startup nutcase. Sends you 10 emails for immediate reply at 3am. Misses your scheduled check in because he just HAD to try his new idea Right Now. Ethics and testing are for people who won't be remembered by history. Eats your lunch out of the fridge even when you lable it.

Jiang Cheng: he's on 30 under 30, his org is tight, they are famous for getting things done and done well, but nobody who works there smiles and its because boss man has never said a single nice thing about anyone's work and is always pissed off. Regularly makes staff cry by just saying mean shit. Sadly, he does not mean any of it and doesn't understand why turnover is so high. He does pay really well and the perks are great but is that enough to make up for him taking everything personally and making everything personal?

If the Please Do Not Eat That Professional thinks it's inconsequential enough to be funny, then the concerned caller knows it's no big deal. When I was a kid my mom called poison control because I ate not one but several crayons, and their advice was to make sure I didn't stray too far from a toilet for a few hours because suppositories are made of wax, too.

Also several years ago I ate half a sandwich while wondering why the hell it tasted so funny only to realize the Goo Gone I'd been cleaning with was leaking, and did so onto my sandwich. Poison Control now has an online form where you can put in what you ingested/how much/when/etc. and someone basically triages those out, so the kid who just drank a bunch of drain cleaner isn't in line behind the kid who ate a crayon. I got a call like twenty minutes later from a nurse who told me I was fine.

Oh! And if you want to know what the tool looks like, it now gives a "this is not a real case" option to let you test it out, so I became a hypothetical worried patient who accidentally took 1000mg of ibuprofen (max dose should be 800) instead of 1000mg of acetaminophen (which has a max dose of 1000) and ran the entire thing. It took me less than two minutes from this:

To this:

Below this screenshot I was advised to drink some water and that if symptoms developed in the next four hours, I should only be concerned in certain cases (e.g. nausea is normal, heart palpitations are a problem).

So what if it's a serious problem? Suddenly, hypothetical Nina was cleaning xir bathroom sink and got hit with some Drano splashback with xir eyes and mouth open! Here's what the tool suggested. As soon as I selected that I'd gotten Drano in my eyes, this popped up:

So I hypothetically went to rinse my eyes, came back, and indicated it'd also gotten into my mouth and onto my skin. Here was the result:

And finally, hypothetical!Nina made an extremely bad decision, then decided this wasn't how xe wanted things to end after all. So I selected the option that says I'd attempted self-harm, and this popped up. (I didn't get it in the screenshot, but there's a drawing of a sad snail at the top of the screen. I think it's supposed to remind you someone is there, this just isn't the best route to reach them.)

- taking your ally's weapon out of their scabard to use yourself

- using someone else's shoulder as a rifle stand

- nudging someone's chin up with the tip of your weapon