sleepy bitch

I feel like I need to write an article like “How to React When Your Friend Comes Out: A Guide For Really, Really Straight People” and it’s just eighty pages of me transcribing all the terrible experiences I’ve had coming out to straight people

Chapter 1: Why “I Knew It” Is Nowhere Near As Funny As You Think It Is

Chapter 2: Is Now The Time For An Abridged History Of You Being A Good Ally™? Signs Point To No

Chapter 3: It’s Cool That You Know Other Gay People, But Not Really Relevant Right Now

Chapter 4: Just Because You Have Gay Friends Does Not Make You An Equal Or Greater Authority On My Gayness

Chapter 5: This Is Actually Really Important So Please Stop Saying It Doesn’t Matter

Chapter 5A: Why “I Don’t Care If You’re Gay, Straight, Purple, Green, Whatever” Is Not A Supportive Statement

Chapter 5B: “I Don’t Care As Long As You Don’t Hit On Me/Turn Me” Has Never Been Funny