Hello everyone! Welcome to the shit show, glad you could make it! Below you will find links to artwork, and fanfics. Please be advised that, YES I do write & draw NSFW material *grab your pearls babe* Currently all work is TMNT (mainly Bayverse)
Requests : OPEN — RULES
FanFic/ Ao3:
TMNT:
Hothead Hardships: Raph x Cassidy (OC)
Something About Blue: Leo x Emma (OC)
Teddy: Raph x FemReader - COMPLETE
A Little, Blue: Leo x FemReader - WIP
The Old Oak Tree: TMNT Family - Complete: Heavy Angst
Not so Careful Intentions - Leo x Karai (Bayverse/2007/2012 Hybrid)
Challenges:
TMNT All 4-1 Challenge
January - Embarrassing Moments (Leo x FemReader)
February - Romance (Mikey x FemReader)
March - The Joys of Spring (Leo x FemReader)
April - Personal Space/ Boundaries (Raph x FemReader)
May - Shenanigans (Donnie x FemReader)
One-Shots:
Ride Along: Donnie x Evelyn (OC) - NSFW
Drive & Dive: Donnie x FemReader - NSFW
Under the Table: Leo x FemReader - NSFW
Challenge: Leo x Emma (OC)
Wrap Me Up: Raph x FemReader - FLUFF
Vanilla Pudding: Leo x FemReader
Mm'Morning: Donnie x FemReader - No plot, straight smut
Temporary: Leo x FemReader
For Anything, For Something: Raph x FemReader - Fluff
Tempt & Taste: Raph x FenReader - NSFW
Spoonful of Sugar: Mikey x Kiya (OC) - Trash fic/ Fluff
Clutch: Raph & F!Reader - NSFW
Confectioners Confessions - Mikey x FemReader / Fluff (1/30/26)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Suggestive +? But not smut and established relationship. This is long enough to be a oneshot but, I’m putting it as a blurb. Also no use of Y/N.
Leonardo is supposed to be leading a crucial tactical briefing on Foot Clan movements. Instead, the stoic leader finds himself completely paralyzed by the vivid, intoxicating memories of the night before, leading his brothers to realize that something—or someone—has finally broken the Commander’s legendary focus.
"The East River docks are heavily guarded, but if we split into two teams, we can bypass their perimeter sensors."
Leonardo’s voice was steady, projecting the calm, authoritative tone that his brothers had listened to their entire lives. He stood at the center of the main tactical projector, his massive, green arms crossed over his chest, his gaze fixed firmly on the blue holographic blueprints of an ambiguous warehouse.
Leo was the perfect commander. He knows just what to do when planning a mission on paper and bringing it out like a warrior on the battlefield.
In reality, Leonardo was fighting for his absolute life to remember what he had just said.
A hurried, sharp memory flicked across his mind like a strike of lightning. It wasn't a blueprint. It was the memory of your skin under the dim, blue tint of his bedroom light from just a bit ago before he left. He could still feel the exact, burning friction of his calloused thumbs digging into the soft curves of your hips, pinning you to the mattress while your head tossed back against his pillows.
"Leo, please..." Your unsteady, breathless whimper echoed so loudly in his head that he almost checked to see if you had walked into the room.
"—and then Donnie can fry their mainframe while Mikey toy around with the security detail on the roof," Raphael’s rough, gravelly voice cut through the fog, resuming the plan.
Leo blinked, his eyes tracking over the holographic map, but he wasn't seeing the structural shafts.
He was seeing the way your thighs had trembled violently against the sides of his face when you finally broke. He got by core the exact taste of you on his tongue, the thick, heavy growl that had ripped from his own throat when you cried out his name. His core tightened, a sudden, heavy wave of heat rushing straight to his plastron.
"Uh, Leo? You good, bro?"
Mikey’s voice popped the bubble.
Leo stiffened, his jaw locking instantly. He realized he had been staring blankly at a bare wall for a solid ten seconds, his breathing noticeably heavier than it had been a minute ago.
"I'm fine," Leo rumbled, his voice dropping into a register that was far too deep, rough, and gravelly for a standard military briefing. He cleared his throat, trying to force his rigid posture back into a professional stance. "Continue, Raphael. You were saying?"
Raph paused, leaning his massive, scarred frame against the concrete pillar. His golden-brown eyes narrowed, scanning his older brother with sudden, intense suspicion.
"I was saying that the rooftop guards are heavily armed. But you usually cut me off by now to tell me my setup is too strong. You're spacing out, Fearless."
"I am not spacing out," Leo fibbed smoothly, though his heart rate monitor on his wrist gauntlet gave a telling, rapid beep-beep-beep.
Donnie looked up from his tech gauntlet, his brow furrowing as he scanned the live lair analytics.
"Actually, Leo, your core body temperature just spiked by two degrees, and your adrenaline levels are elevated. Are you undergoing delayed-onset shock from the Shredder quarrel?"
"No," Leo snapped, a faint, dark bloom creeping up his neck, staining his green skin. He tightly gripped the hilt of his katanas behind his back, using the familiar weight of his weapons to try to ground himself. But even the leather wraps of his swords reminded him of the way your fingers had tangled frantically into his gear, tugging him down onto you.
“You are so beautiful,” he had whispered into your lips. “All mine.”
"Oh, matching heart rates!" Mikey gasped, pointing a finger at Donnie's screen. "Wait, Leo's heart rate looks exactly like it does when he's doing high-intensity cardio, but he's literally just standing there! What are you thinking about, Leo? Is it a secret technique? A new kata?"
Raph looked from the monitor, to Leo's tense, rigid shoulders, and then toward the western corridor—the exact path of the residential rooms where you were currently sleeping in.
A slow, massive, wicked grin spread across Raph’s green face. He let out a deep, mocking chuckle, tossing a heavy wrench onto the table with a loud clank.
"He ain't thinkin' about a kata, Mikey," Raph chuckled, crossing his massive arms and shaking his head. "Look at him. The boy is totally toasted. Someone finally knocked the Commander off his pedestal."
"What? Who?" Mikey blinked, genuinely confused, before his eyes went wide. "Oh! Ohhhhh! Is it—"
"That is enough," Leo ordered, his voice dropping into his absolute strictest, most unyielding command tone. He glared at his brothers, his dark eyes flashing with a fiercely protective, possessive heat that instantly silenced the room. "The mission parameters stand. Donnie, secure the mainframe access codes. Raph, Mikey, prep the gear. We move out at 2100. Meeting adjourned."
Without waiting for a response, Leo turned on his heel, his heavy, three-toed footsteps echoing sharply against the concrete as he marched straight out of the briefing room.
Raph just laughed loudly behind him, throwing his head back. "Yeah, go get some water, Fearless! You look like you're meltin'!"
Leo didn't look back. He kept his eyes fixed straight ahead, his chest heaving as he walked down the dimly lit corridor toward his room.
The tactical map was completely gone from his mind. The Foot Clan didn't matter. The docks didn't matter. The only thing that counted was getting back behind that closed door, trudging back into that bed, and making you whine his name all over again.
he realizes he likes you long before he admits it to himself (at first, he just thinks he’s being protective, then he catches himself looking for you every time you enter a room, waiting for your laugh or making excuses to stand closer)
when he notices the way you look at leo, his stomach sinks.
he tries to convince himself he’s imagining it… until he catches you smiling at leo in that way, then he goes unusually quiet after that.
he starts volunteering to patrol alone more often.
he still flirts with you out of habit, but it’s less confident now, almost like he’s testing the waters, hoping he’ll finally see something in your eyes.
instead, you ask him if he thinks leo would like the snack you bought. “…yeah” that’s all he says cuz it hurts more than he’d ever admit.
he never blames you (you can’t choose who you fall for, and he knows that); he does, however, get irritated with leo for absolutely no reason.
“why’re you smilin’ like that?”
“what?”
“exactly.”
leo eventually figures it out not because raph tells him, but because raph suddenly gets annoyed every time your name comes up.
if leo likes you back, raph is crushed; he’d never sabotage his brother’s happiness, but he’d definitely disappear for a while to deal with it on his own.
if leo doesn’t return your feelings, raph feels guilty for secretly being relieved.
he never uses your feelings as an opportunity to swoop in. he refuses to be someone’s second choice.
when you’re heartbroken over leo, raph is the one sitting beside you in silence: he’ll hand you tissues without saying a word, he’ll listen to you ramble about leo for hours, even though every sentence feels like a punch to the gut.
if you apologize for talking so much about leo, raph just shrugs “nah. if it helps, keep talkin’.”
there are nights where he punches a heavy bag until his knuckles bleed because he can’t get over you.
raph accidentally compares himself to leo constantly: “he’s the leader”, “he’s calmer” or “he actually thinks before speakin’.”
he’d never say it in front of you, but he genuinely believes leo is the better choice.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
it’s usually around 2 or 3 a.m. when you hear the familiar knock on your fire escape.
he never texts first. he just shows up.
first thing he says is “can’t sleep.”
you stop asking why after the first few times.
he always brings snacks he found on the way.
he acts like he came to keep you company but he’s lying.
he immediately steals your couch or your bed without asking.
some nights he paces around your apartment because sitting still feels impossible; other nights he just stares out the window in silence.
you make him tea even though he insists it “doesn’t do anything” but he drinks it anyway.
if you play with the bandages on his arms, he noticeably relaxes.
he likes hearing you talk about random things because it gives his mind something else to focus on.
he’ll grumble if you call him out for needing comfort—> “i’m not here for that” he would say
five minutes later he’s leaning against your shoulder.
he falls asleep faster when you’re touching him somehow.
your hand on his arm is enough.
if you move away after he finally falls asleep, he’ll unconsciously pull you back.
nightmares are common; sometimes he wakes up breathing hard, pretending everything’s fine and you never push him to explain (he appreciates that more than you know).
he apologizes for waking you almost every visit and you always tell him your window’s open for him.
he pretends that doesn’t mean anything, but it means everything.
Summary: You had been around the brothers for years and Leo was your best friend, and at times, you were more than just friends. But one day that all changes when he chooses Karai over you.
A/n: Who is ready for angst? And a very sweet protective in an “I’m gonna kill you for hurting her” kinda way? Because that’s what this is. Also a bit into my own life about how I and my fiance met and some following events. Also, say hello to over 4,000 words
Warnings: suicidal thoughts and attempt (very brief and mild, stay strong my loves)
I grinned as I walked down into the lair, dinner for my boys in hand. Pizza delivery was the least that I could do for them, after all, I couldn’t save the world.
“Dinner!” I called.
Raph who was closest came up behind me grinning, as were Mikey and Donnie who emerged from other parts of the lair. But Donnie looked concerned, I dismissed the notion; he had to be worried about a project or something.
But then everything changed when my searching eyes found what they were looking for: my best friend…
I froze in my spot, my eyes locked onto Leo… and Karai. Together. Looking at each other is if they were each other’s worlds. I dropped the pizza boxes in my hands. Raph, who was right beside me, caught them quickly before ushering me away from those two after setting the boxes down.
“Kid?” He asked, as I just stared. “Hey, talk to me.”
“He chose her,” I whispered, tears in my eyes. “He chose her Raph,” My voice squeaked as I ran into his arms, tears escaping that I never meant to let go.
Summary: When Leo saves you from being mugged raped one night, there’s something different about him as you can’t seem to let him go. You break your rules, and there aren’t consequences for once… or are there?
A/N: See I promised y’all a Leo one shot. Also, don’t be scared by the autistic label for this readz. It’s my normal writing I promise, but it’s a little bit more into a different way to handle things. Not screaming and yelling and crying, but in silence, until you have the strength to speak again. I love you guys and your feedback. Please don’t stop. It’s what keeps me going as I struggle to keep writing. I love you all.
P.S. Leo is SO soft here.
Warnings: Kidnapping, ABA mentions, attempted mugging, IT’S SO SOFT I PROMISE (it’s also super cheesy)
“Where are you going pretty thing?” Some called from behind me. “Do you wanna see what a real man can do?”
I bit my tongue, for one holding back the sharp replies that I was always so quick at. I knew that it wouldn’t help me here.
So I kept walking.
Until the voice came closer and closer and grabbed my arm, yanking me back. I let out a scream and felt the panic and adrenaline rush through me. You always imagined what you would do in a situation like this, but my mind was coming up blank. I had nothing.
He shoved me to the ground and my wrists protested as they caught my fall. My phone clattered to the ground and I snatched it quickly, fumbling to get to the emergency call.
I was so focused on the simple task that I missed what had come next. Until I heard a new voice and a strangled cry left my lips.
Summary: So you found your soulmate… or at least you knew that you had one, but did you have the courage to face him?
A/n: Who’s ready for part two of Into The Unknown! I know a lot of you are. So here it is. Leo is SO SOFT here my heart man. Of course, it’s based on Show Yourself from Frozen II and slightly All Is Found. I love y’all and your feedback always so let me know what you think!
MYSTERIOUS VIGILANTES CAPTURE THE HEAD OF THE FOOT CLAN
The news story was all over social media as I scrolled through my feeds. I knew of The Foot and the danger that they posed over New York, but they never crossed paths with mine.
Which I suppose I should be grateful for.
I wondered about the heroes though. The “vigilantes.” Like the press was afraid of the word hero. That’s what they had to be through, to go against the Foot Clan? They couldn’t be anything but heroes.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Summary: Soulmates had faded out of existence, but still you felt different all your life. One day when you get a thought that you know isn’t yours… you ponder the possibility of a soulmate but shut it down quickly. It was stupid. You were stupid. You didn’t have time for fairy tales… and it seems, neither did he…
A/N: I’m evil because this is two parts and this is only the first half. Based on Into the Unknown from Frozen II. Let me know what you think! Also, it switches perspectives every break, let me know if you like this style too. Feedback is everything to me. I love you guys.
They say that soul mate’s thoughts oftentimes intermingled, letting the one know what the other was thinking to find another. Greek mythology had it semi right, the splitting of one soul into halves and a mission to find one another.
________________________
She doesn’t exist
It was one of the first thoughts that I had that I knew wasn’t mine. I vaguely remembered talk of soulmates in school when I was younger, but it faded along with fairy tales and dreams. It wasn’t relevant until now.
Did I have a soulmate? I didn’t know how to take the fact that he was out there. So, I ignored it. There was no point in hoping that someone was out there for me. He wasn’t a voice; it was just a ringing in my ear.
________________________
Summary: Request: @coresan : Okay, you probably have seen this before but I would like to see how you could do this: The turtles S/O is accepted into a college with a scholarship. Excited by the news Y/N runs to the lair and tries to tell their turtle boyfriend and friends but is given the cold shoulder and is told to come back later. Months later the turtles continue to give the cold shoulder to Y/N and Y/N is fed up with the behavior and just leaves for college. No note. No call. Just gone. Leaving the college note.
A/N: this has the same vein, except more confrontation and talking (arguing) and Leo is kinda an asshole but there’s some cute resolve the rest of it is ANGST. Pfft. Y’all know me. You know what’s coming. (Also say hello to a protective sweetheart Donnie) Let me know what you think! I love you guys so much.
It was the beginning of my senior year in high school. Along with the deadlines and fees to pay for graduation there was also the debate of what college to go to. I looked around at a few and took some long shots for applying to places like Stanford or Dartmouth, Cambridge England was another one, but it was just to see if I could get in, not that I really wanted to move to England.
Best case scenario, I attended NYU and stayed in the city. So that I could stay with Leo and the small family that I had found in him and his brothers and their father. I felt at home with them as much as I did at home with my own parents, except my parents didn’t know they existed per se, and they didn’t really ask. I was an adult; they knew that I didn’t need to be hovered over.
Leo was excited that I was going to college, and Donnie even more so. The geek prone brother and I spent a lot of time filling out applications and going through my best essays to send in. I could see the pride in Leo’s eyes, in his smile, in the way he talked about it.
you got lost in New York, you’re a small-town girl after all
You’re hesitant at first, and slightly afraid
But Leo gives off such a calming gentle vibe, you can’t help but want to be near him
He’s a leader, and you respect that, though you never fully agree with him in everything
He teaches you hand to hand combat to protect yourself, not from the foot per se, but crooks in general
You’re not very good at it (you have no balance and close your eyes too much)
Raph gives you an old set of his Sais and you are finally good at something (after all they’re not that much different from switchblades)
To Leo’s dismay, he wants to teach you, but you and Raph always get more done in training
in all honesty, you just want to impress him and you don’t want him to see you fail
This leads to a huge argument because Leo can’t take the jealousy
You end up screaming that you’re not good enough to be worth his time
Leo freezes in his tracks, as tears fall from your eyes at the confession
You run out of the Lair and end up getting lost again
You really hate New York at this point
Of course, Leo finds you
You’re too tired to fight with him so you walk away (hopefully in the right direction)
Until Leo plants himself in front of you
“You are worth more than anything to me. I don’t know why you’d ever think you weren’t.”
“I’m not strong enough. Or good enough. I don’t measure up.”
“You’re enough for me. You’re perfect for me.”
You don’t believe it
But then he’s kissing you and you can’t remember why you ever doubted it
He takes you back to your apartment
He knows you need a break from the Lair and training
He needs a break too if he’s honest. Just one night.
Which pisses Raph the fluff off when you two return the next morning
“Some fearless leader you are.”
“Fuck off.”
All eyes turn to you.
“Excuse me?” Raph is shocked and slightly impressed.
“You heard me.” You held your ground.
Leo is shocked too. Being the leader, no one was ever there to stick up for him
Especially against Raph
But there’s the tiny foot and a half shorter you, standing up for him against his meanest (and most dangerous) brother
Again, you and Raph have a relationship that he just doesn’t understand
You start to train with him again though, trading Sais, for daggers
Leo accidentally loses focus (I mean, he has a gorgeous tiny girl coming at him, trying to be intimidating, and it’s quite amusing) and you end up getting a good slice in on his face, right across his mask
You’re mortified, but he’s beaming with pride
You refuse to spar with anyone after that, digging your heels in about it
Instead, you meditate with Splinter and learn how to control your inner demons
Leo doesn’t understand why it’s so important to you and Splinter has vowed silence
Until he watches you around your family, and then he knows something is up
This isn’t the you that he knows and loves
He asks you about it
One late night, you give in and tell him everything
He stares at you shocked
He never knew how much stronger you really were than him, mentally and emotionally
Of course, you didn’t like to broadcast that fact either
You two end up meditating together
And you get a beta fish together. His name is Herman
You go on “dates” to the backwoods of New York state
Under the stars, everything else just seems to fade, even for a little while
Laying on a blanket, wrapped up in his arms, he says he loves you
The response came immediately: you loved him too
Those nights heavily included on Bob Segar and Bon Jovi
You spend a lot of night kissing and cuddling (to everyone else’s dismay)
But you’re happy and so is Leo and no one wants to take that from you
“Behind every great man is a greater woman keeping him in line”
He’s the ‘alpha’ of the group and you’re his alpha
Heaven forbid anyone to disrespect his alpha
You had to physically step in between him and Raph one time
He raised to strike, but you held your ground. Blue eyes staring into brown ones
Everyone was ready to jump in to save you even Raph, but it wasn’t needed, Leo backed down
You gave fearless a whole new meaning
You were really good at strategy, aiding Leo when he needed it
The others respected you, as a mother that they never had
Mikey confided in you. How he felt, how his day went, his latest hyper fixation
You helped him with learning how to cosplay, and as soon as they knew you could sew, there were about a thousand things to mend
You didn’t mind, it was nice to keep your hands busy when you meditated.
You gave Donnie your old laptop and he went wide-eyed and hugged you so long that Leo growled in jealousy
You and Donnie worked on tracking devices and better means of communication between the five of you
You worried a lot about your boys when they were topside patrolling
Leo always came to you when he felt that he wasn’t good enough to lead
You always reminded him that it wasn’t about being good enough, it was about being there
Leo is jealous
He says he’s “Protective” because you’re already his, but you see it for what it is
“He doesn’t like your shirt, he likes what’s in it.”
You roll your eyes a lot and kiss him, reminding him whose you are
He was your best friend. Boyfriend was never the right word because it was too dull and didn’t hold a candle to what he was to you
Fiancé fit a bit better
It was fourth of July, on the rooftops under the fireworks that he proposed
You cried and got mad, then said yes
The ring wasn’t the fanciest, but you adored it because you didn’t want fancy, you just wanted him, for who he was
Any doubt that he had before about you wanting someone else, or someone ‘normal’ vanished when you got a tattoo on your inner arm of a katana with a blue ribbon fluttering around it
It was the first of many tattoos for you, but that first one was always your favorite
You both eventually got matching wolf tattoos: forever alphas of the other
You had a home in Leo and a place by his side through it all
I hope you liked it! Also, this got very long very fast but who’s really complaining? The others will be up soon, I promise but ya girl has college classes to get to.
Summary: What would you do if you got a second chance to fix a pretty big hurt in your life? Ten years later, the city might have changed, and maybe you did too, but is it enough to escape the ghosts that haunt you?
A/n: So this definitely has potential to be a series if you guys want (or if I decide to do it anyway). Anyway, both the turts and Readz are aged up (25 or so) and this is just angsty and soft and i think I aboslutely love it because we all deserve to make up for our mistakes; or at least apologize for them.
p.s. no ai was used in the creation of this work and never will be.
There was a soft thud behind me. A sound I knew from a dream of a memory but I knew it all too well.
It still scared me though.
“Holy fucking shit Raph,” I cursed, turning to see the terrapin hiding at the edge of the shadows.
“Since when do you curse?” There was a smirk drawing at his lips. Even the sight of him, my adrenaline spiked from the fun and fear that wove into my memories.
“I’m not twelve,” I said defiantly. “I see you haven’t changed though,”
He chuckled, amused at my boldness. A smile grew on my face and wordlessly we drew together into a hug.
“It’s good to see you kid,” his voice was low in my ear. I took a deep breath, my body relaxing into his hold.
“Good to see you too Red,” I said.
It was really good to see him. I hadn’t been back since I was a little tween caught up in the world of shadows that resided below the regular one. Maybe nine years? Ten? We didn’t talk much in the meantime—both of our egos leaving us defiantly silent. But when I reached out, he answered. And here we were. Nervous for the time spent apart. Nervous for the feelings that still lingered between.
My old apartment building roof was a safe place to meet. I hadn’t lived here since, but it was common ground. A good place to catch up. I had taken the time to set it up just right: soda, pizzas, chips, blankets, a radio. Just like old times.
We spent the time eating pizza and talking about so many things—avoiding others: what book series I had gotten myself lost in, what UFC fight Raph was following, showing off my new rescue cat, Raph yapping about mods to his motorcycle, how my parents were, where I’d traveled to in the space between. Easy conversation. It had to be for this to work.
We avoided why I left, why we didn’t talk in the time between, and the damage it caused, how long we were angry at each other and when that faded to regret and guilt because we missed each other. Because as the hours went on, we inched closer together, like the gravity of the time missed pulled us together. But the night was winding down, but the presence of those topics we chose to ignore laid heavy in the air. They clouded my intentions and my own desires until it was all a mess.
Though I was lost in my head, Raph always keenly alert, suddenly froze, going rigid. My focus homed on him. He heard something, his careful eyes pinpointing what was a threat to our bubble. My adrenaline spiked. Raph jumped up with such lethal accuracy. I scrambled up after him. Three shadowy figures dropped onto the roof. And still he put himself between me and the danger before us.
“Shit. I swear this was not supposed to happen,” Raphael pulled out his sais, dangerous and well worn.
“When does it not?” I mused. Tucked into my back pocket—knowing that something always happened—was a stiletto switch blade. Beautiful and sharp. The glint caught his eye. He hesitated, confused; impressed.
“They’re robots this time,” he told me. I was shocked. Last time they were just trained ninjas from Japan or local from the city that Shredder found.
“What?” I said.
“Some things change,” he smirked. Robots took away the moral implications.
“Cool.” I smiled and twirled my blade so it faced out—ready to heavily maim some robots. But before I took a step, Raph was so fast. He had the three robots laid out easily. Not the hesitant unsteady gangly teenager I once knew; no Raphael was lethal and mastered his craft.
“Damn.” I said, gazing at the sparking wires of the mangled robots.
“I’m not twelve,” Raph said, grinning at me, using my line from earlier.
“No shit,” I said.
His eyes scanned the rooftops, looking for something, or someone. Were there more? Were we safe? I trusted Raph to keep me safe—not necessarily out of harms way but ya know, safe. I put my knife away and took a step closer to him.
“I don’t see any others,” he said.
“I thought the foot clan left when Shredder died,” I nudged the foot of a robot and it twitched. I stepped back.
“Karai took over for a while, but yeah,” his brow furrowed as he spoke. “This is odd,”
“Oh yay,” I said sarcastically.
“You’ll be fine princess,” he said as my old nickname slipped from his lips. My gaze dropped, a smile and small blush creeping on my face.
Girlish dreams flickered back but I stamped them back. He had found me at a time in my life I needed to feel safe and protected, and he made me feel safe. Like I had a place to be, where the people around me wanted me in their lives. A red string that began with him. It was a few seasons of will they won’t they that kept my head spinning as a teenager.
Raph and I had never been anything except each other’s favorites. And then I left. And we just never were.
“We should go back to the lair. Tell them what’s going on,” Raph said.
“It’s fine. Just a couple of bots. You said yourself there aren’t more,” I deflected quickly.
“Y/n, you’d be safer there,” he said.
“It’s fine,” I pressed harder. He huffed and rolled his eyes, agitated.
“Just let me take you back to the lair. You’ll be safe there! And we can figure this out!” He insisted.
“No.” I said. Our defiance and egos reared their heads now. “I don’t want to go back.”
“What? Can’t face your past?” His barb was quick. It wound me up so tightly. We’d avoided conversation topics for a reason. I was not going to be shoved head first into one of them now.
“Like how you were such an asshole back then?” I said. “And looks like the jury is still fucking out on that one,”
He laughed sharply. “Oh like you weren’t a know it all with a fucking savior complex who thought she could fix the world if she just tried hard enough,”
That one stung a little but it was true. It was enough of a call out to pull me from my pride and take a deep breath.
“Fuck you Raph,” I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “You really thought about that one huh?” I tacked on.
“Too far?” He asked a little softer. We’d thrown all our knives it seemed.
“Was true,” I said. “But ouch.”
“Sorry,”
“It’s true,” I shrugged. “God I was insufferable,”
“A little,” he teased nudging my shoulder. “But so was I.”
“We were just kids,” I decided. “We didn’t know better,”
He nodded, lost in thought.
“Let me take you home—to your new apartment.” he said as I was forming a case of why I really didn’t want to go back to the lair. A list of reason to disguise my cowardice.
“Oh. Alright,” I said. “Thanks,”
He nodded and rubbed his face. “Lead the way?”
Now on a different rooftop, there was an awkward silence between us. I hated it but I didn’t know what to do to alleviate it.
“G’night kid,” Raph said. “It was good seeing you again,”
“Yeah,” I rubbed my arm. Our goodbye seemed final somehow and I didn’t want it to be. We were older—I was older, I could maintain a friendship even if it was uncomfortable. Couldn’t I?
“Don’t be a stranger?” He said, catching my attention.
“Yeah,” A smile touched my lips. “I had a good time tonight, all things considered,”
“Me too,” He smiled. “Seriously. Don’t be a stranger. I’ve missed you,”
“You too,” I said. And with a final hug, he was gone into the night.
And life went back to my new normal. A job at a local restaurant that I could walk to, looking for places to meet new friends, taking care of a cat that was keen about her feeding routine despite being a street cat months ago. And Raph and his brothers were at the corner of my thoughts.
The next time I reached out to him, it wasn’t to hang out. It was seemingly a normal shift at work.
I heard the door open and started to say my hellos to the new patron when I paused, stumbling through my greeting, desperately trying to keep it smooth.
“Dining in or taking out?” I asked keeping a polite smile on my face. It came out a bit squeaky.
The Shredder gazed at the menu over my shoulder. If he recognized me, he didn’t say a word. And maybe he didn’t. I hoped to God he didn’t. Maybe I’d changed enough, maybe it was always dark enough when we encountered each other. The odds might be in my favor but the risk that they weren’t didn’t sit well with me. I took his order and darted from the front.
“I’m making a quick phone call,” I told my coworker who gave me a strange look—and that was fair—I was out of sorts in a way my kitchen had never seen. I walked to the back with my shoulders hunched and heart racing. Holy fucking shit. Why did he have to walk into my hole in the wall restaurant? There were thousands in the city. Thousands. And he was twenty feet from me. The man who haunted my dreams for so long. Who led me to run from the city and the brothers in the first place.
The call went through.
“Y/n?” Raph was confused. “Aren’t you working tonight?”
“Yeah listen. Shredder just walked in and ordered take out.”
There was a tense silence. “He what?”
“He’s at my restaurant.” I hissed. “I thought he was gone!”
“He was! Is! Are you sure it’s him!?” Raph asked. I heard commotion in the background.
“Would you like me to send you a fucking picture!?” I snapped back. “Yes I’m sure!” I was so aggravated that he didn’t believe me.
“Okay, alright,” he conceded. “We’re already on our way. Just… be careful,” he said, his tone softening, the way it only did for me. The way we both took a breath signaled that we weren’t mad at each other. Just frazzled and frustrated by the situation. I could see that and so could he. We’d grown up.
“I will. You too,” I said.
“Did he recognize ya?” He asked, his tone still soft, concerned.
“I don’t think so,” I said, worrying my lip. “Should I be more worried?”
“Just… give your kitchen a heads up. Do you trust them?”
I nodded to myself. “Yeah. I’ll… I’ll talk to George.” A smile ghosted my lips. Now was a good time to work for what might really be the mafia front.
“Oh great let’s just start a crime boss war,” Raph muttered getting me to laugh.
“I’m gonna talk to George. I’ll see you soon,”
“No ya won’t,” I could hear him grinning like he was some master of stealth I didn’t scan the rooftops for even in other cities.
I found George outside, and I gave him spark notes of that I thought was going on. Concern grew on his face as his brown furrowed. He was a slight man but with a hardened face that warned not to be messed with. His Lebanese features were strong and his accent stronger. He ran a hand through his salt and pepper hair.
“Is he still here?” George asked.
“Yeah, he ordered. Should be out in like ten minutes?” I said.
“Okay. You stay in the back. I’ll cover you until he’s gone,” he said very seriously.
Gratitude surged in my chest. “Thanks George.” I shot Raph a quick text about what George told me.
I hid in the back with Junior our dishwasher. I stumbled through an explanation in the mid level Spanish that I was learning. He nodded and let me hang out no questions asked. That was nice. I’d been here only a few months but my coworkers were becoming some of my favorite people.
George eventually came back and found me.
“He’s gone,” George said. “If he comes back you call me right away,” his tone was grave. I nodded.
“Thanks George,” I said.
“You coulda told me when I hired you that the Shredder has it out for you,” George teased.
“It was ten years ago!” I insisted. “And I literally just moved back,”
“Yeah yeah. Just call me kid. Now get back to work,”
Fortunately the rest of my shift was uneventful—just regular restaurant and the stress and busyness that came with it. What I absolutely thrived in.
————————————
“First the foot bots and now this,” Raph said. “I don’t know if I like it.”
“It can’t be a coincidence,” I agreed. “I’ve been in the city for a few months. I’m not some weird-shit magnet. It has to mean something,”
Raphael and I were chatting after I got off my shift in the darkness of the alley. It was after George confirmed that I wasn’t walking home alone and I was okay. Even my friends on staff gave me wary looks and asked if I was alright. Their care for me had something warm growing in my chest. I didn’t want to dare label it as belonging. Not yet.
“Come over,” He said breaking my train of thought. “Please?” As if he was ready to rebuttal whatever excuse I had. “It’s safer there and we can figure this out and…” he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “I don’t want to lose you again,”
Whatever argument I did have against going back to the lair—and the weird uncomfortable feelings that came with returning somewhere after a decade and seeing people I haven’t talked to since—absolutely died on my lips. He had said please. He never said please. Well he hadn’t ever before. And he was honest about his intentions. It caught me so off guard. As much as I really didn’t want to go back, I didn’t want to face the consequences of my decade old actions… if Shredder was back with the Foot Clan… the lair was the safest place for me and I didn’t want to lead them to my apartment. I didn’t want to think that they already knew where I lived.
“Let me pack a bag,” I said with a smile.
The way his eyes lit up was worth all of the discomfort in the world. I’d to anything to keep that light in his eyes.
Over the years I had streamlined packing—moving every two years and couch surfing for a better half of six months would do that to anyone. So I had a bag ready in fifteen minutes and in fifteen more we were outside the lair.
I hesitated.
It was all so familiar and yet so foreign. Ghosts of my past self and haunting absent years enveloped me. She was so excited; to be apart is something bigger than herself. To find a place to belong outside of the world she was raised in. Bright-eyed and ready to make mistakes.
Now I had to face those mistakes. Looking backward might be the only way to move forward.
Regret and melancholy washed over me. I inhaled deeply, letting myself be. To be with those emotions, then let them go.
“You okay?” Raphael noticed. “I know it’s a lot to come back,”
I nodded, agreeing with his acknowledgment. It was a lot to come back. But not too much. We walked forward together.
“Raph! Good you’re back! Donnie said Y/n packed a bag and—“
I stepped out from behind the terrapin and smiled.
“Oh my god you’re here!” Mikey exclaimed. “Thank god! I thought we were gonna have to track you down!” He scooped me up into his arms and crushed me in a long overdue hug.
“It’s good to see you too Mikey,” I laughed, tapping his arm so he’d let up.
“Come on man she just got here, give her space,” Raph scolded.
“Right, don’t wanna scare her off,” Mikey teased but there was something sad in his tone as he stepped back. My brows came together. Did they really believe that they were the ones who scared me off? That the brothers were the reason I left? Had they been carrying that weight all this time?
“You guys couldn’t get rid of me if you tried,” I teased but it was a bold faced lie. Our history proved that.
“Haha right!” Mikey put of a brave face but I could see through it—he was itching to talk to me, to hug me again, but he had his excitement caged. He was calculated about how he interacted with me. It made my heart hurt. “Well I’m gonna let Donnie know you’re okay,” he excused himself quickly his head ducked down. I groaned and scrubbed my eyes with my hand.
“Please tell me you guys haven’t spent the last ten years thinking you all were the reason I left?” I said giving Raph a desperate look from behind my hand.
His lips pursed and he gave a little shrug that turned into a nod. My heart sank.
“God, no,” I ran my hand down my face and shook my head. “No,” I refuted. “No, just no,”
There they were. All those feelings I’d been avoiding. The guilt. The shame. The regrets. The weight of it all. All brimming to the surface.
“Raph,” my voice broke. “No,” my gaze turned from him to where Mikey disappeared and to a place I once called home. A place I loved. Tears welled in my eyes. There was no use stopping my tears.
“I never hated you guys. Or blamed you. Or ran from you,” my eyes met his; they were glossy. “You were my friends. I loved you guys. I needed you guys. And leaving…” tears carved trails down my cheeks. “I can’t change it but I wish I’d never hurt you because of it,” I chased away my tears. “Raph,”
He nodded, not trusting his own voice but he was crying freely now. Like his brother he closed the space between us and held me in a way that was long over due. I wrapped my arms around him and cried. There were so many things I regretted but not reaching out, not clearing the air, not alleviating the pain if I could have just set my pride aside was the worst sin I had.
“I’m sorry,” I cried. “I’m so sorry,”
He hugged me a little tighter. “Me too, I’m sorry Y/n. I coulda reached out. I coulda said something I—“
I nodded into his shoulder knowing exactly what he meant. I pressed my face into his shoulder. It was comforting. Familiar. It was where I belonged. He squeezed me a little tighter.
We pulled apart. Raphael reached up and watched a few stray tears from my face.
“We’ll do better from now on,” Raph said with a half smile. “We actually talk to each other,”
I nodded and smiled. “I’d like that. A lot,” there was a warm feeling in my chest at the idea of always having Raphael in my life. To always have him to talk to. There’s nothing I wanted more. And I’d put in the work this time to keep it.
“I… should apologize to your brothers,” I said, taking a deep breath.
“You don’t have to do anything,” Raph assured me. “You’ve also had a bit of a night,”
“Yeah, but they deserve to hear it.” I said. “I—I’m—“
“You’re too hard on yourself,” Raph soothed. “We were kids Y/n, teenagers,”
“But I still hurt you guys. And look I know it was a hard situation. And I know there wasn’t anything we could have changed but… if I have the chance to make things right, I owe it to myself to try,” I said, gesturing in my state. My posture shrank. “I’ve… I’ve not really ever had a chance to make things right before… and I’ve lost—too much. And if I somehow get a second chance with you guys I…”
Raph nodded. “Okay alright, I get it,” he rubbed my arm softly. “And if you wanna talk about what happened…”
“One day,” I smiled a bit, the shadows of my past rearing their head. “Thanks Raph. I… I really have missed having you to talk to,”
“Come on kid,” he smiled. “I’ll go get them, then you need to get to bed okay?”
I nodded, scrubbing my face.
Raph was right by my side as I face the three other turtles. Donatello and Michelangelo were listening expectantly. I couldn’t read the emotions of Leonardo’s face. Regardless, I had amends to make.
“Guys I’m sorry,” I said still watery. “It was never your fault. Me leaving. And I should have told you guys that. And I’m sorry,” my voice broke at the last apology.
Mikey and Donnie have warm hugs and apologies of their own. Reconciliation was found there. Leo stood a cool distance away but he gave me slight nod. I wasn’t entirely sure if I was forgiven by the leader in blue but at least he acknowledged my apology. It was all I could ask for even if it sent a shard of hurt in my chest. I wanted it to all be easy but the reality of it was that it couldn’t be.
Mikey and Donnie were chattering asking me questions wanting to catch up with the excitement I was expecting, but it all went over my head. I’d hit a wall mentally. Raph brushed them off for me and I mumbled a good night. So grateful Raphael grabbed my bag and led me to his room. His room has changed over the years—obviously. But there were still familiar posters on the wall, though new rock bands and movies joined them. It was neat—more organized. A few more stacks of books and comics. More gaming consoles piled together. And a bed that seemed to just keep going covered in a nest of blankets and pillows.
I wasted no time to flop into his bed, covering my face with my hands.
“You okay?” He asked knowing the answer from my body language. I let out a pitiful sound. “Yeah, sorry kid. Leo’s an ass. Always has been, especially about apologies.” he sat beside me on the bed. I peeked out from behind my hands.
“He’s valid in his reaction,” I sighed. “Hell I’m surprised you even texted me back,”
“Really?” He said. I sat up and nodded. There was a sharp pain of sitting up too fast behind my eyes.
“Yeah, I didn’t know what you thought of me. What any of you did. I—“ a shrug fell from my shoulders. “You could’ve never responded and I’d understand,”
“Of course I would have texted back Y/n,” he said so resolutely, putting his hand over mine. “And, you’re here now. That’s what matters. And you’re kinda dead on your feet,” he said, nudging my shoulder. “Let’s get some sleep.”
“Like old times?” I asked wondering if we’d share his bed or if I’d trudge out to the couch. Another fragment in our not quite dating mosaic.
“If you want.” He said. “Or you can stay here and I’ll take the couch,” he offered.
“I can’t ask you to do that,” I said aghast. I knew that couch would be okay enough for me—for Raph it’d be miserable.
“I invited you over. I can take the couch,” he said in response.
“Or we can share your oversized California king bed like adults,” I mused, taking in the vast expanse of his bed. “Seriously where did you get this bed?”
Raph laughed. “Donnie engineered them. You remember where everything is?”
“I think so,”
“Lemme get you some towels and stuff,” he said getting up and going to his closet pulling down a folded towel wash cloth and hand towel. Wow. Very adult.
Freshly showered and admittedly exhausted, I grabbed my phone for some late night reading and scrolling to finally drift to sleep. Raph came in and noticed I was in bed.
“It’s only like midnight?” He asked, confused.
“Uhuh,” I said. “And that means it’s bed time,”
“You used to stay up way later than this,” he said.
“When I was fifteen,” I pointed out. “Now I enjoy getting to bed at a reasonable time and waking up before eleven,”
“Wow. Okay,” he said, smiling a little. “We’re gonna run a patrol, I’ll be back in a few hours,”
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I like it when all four of them come together to figure something out. They’re all getting along, and April is there too. But I couldn’t help but noticed a few other things now that I’ve watched this at least 50 times.
In the beginning part when they’re all surrounding Donnie while he’s scanning the video, I noticed Raph actually puts his hand on his brother’s back.
That’s cute! It’s giving the older brother support energy.
Also Mikey repeating Donnie to be involved is just funny to me, a little “Ya I knew that.” Moment.
I wondered for a bit if Donnie fancy’s April at all because in 2016 film they have this cute crime dynamic. She talks about everything she saw then when she asks for help Donnie’s like, “I got you!”
PheraDream15 - NEW ACCOUNT! @pheradream-15 - Tumblr Blog | Tumlook
