Swearwords & Shenanigans

Leo acts mature until he’s alone with his brothers. Then suddenly he’s arguing over whose turn it is to clean pizza boxes and dramatically quoting space-hero speeches like they’re life lessons. He absolutely practices leadership speeches in private before saying them out loud.

He gets jealous when Splinter praises one of the others, even if he immediately feels guilty about it afterward. Being “the responsible one” puts pressure on him constantly.

He has definitely rehearsed cool one-liners before missions and then gotten interrupted before he could say them.

Leo gets embarrassed when the others tease him about being a nerd, because deep down he knows they’re right. This man unironically loves fictional space operas.

Leo secretly likes when his brothers rely on him. Even when he complains about responsibility, part of him needs to feel useful.

RAPHAEL

Raph pretends he hates physical affection, but he’s actually the most touch-starved out of all of them. If someone he trusts leans against him, he’ll complain the entire time while very obviously not moving away.

Raph is terrifying in fights, but with pets or tiny animals? Gone. Completely soft. He’d stop mid-mission to move a turtle off the road.

Raph acts like he and Leo fight because he’s angry, but half the time it’s because he wants Leo to stop carrying everything alone.

Raph is the easiest to manipulate emotionally when it comes to family. Mention one of his brothers being hurt and all logic disappears instantly.

Raph falls asleep fastest after missions because anger burns through his energy hard.

Raph remembers insults for YEARS. Mikey could say one mildly mean thing jokingly and Raph would bring it up six months later during an argument.

MICHELANGELO

Mikey is secretly the best at cheering up his brothers because he notices moods faster than everyone thinks. He acts silly on purpose when the lair feels tense.

Mikey steals food off everyone’s plates. Not because he’s hungry. Just because annoying them is funny.

Mikey is the brother most likely to accidentally reveal sensitive information because he talks before thinking. The others have definitely tackled him to stop him from speaking before.

Mikey is emotionally smarter than people realize. He’s usually the first one to notice when Donnie’s spiraling or when Leo’s pretending he’s okay.

Mikey has probably accidentally invented strategies during fights while everybody else assumed he was just improvising nonsense.

DONATELLO

Donnie gets emotionally attached to random inventions nobody else cares about. He’ll hold up some weird tiny robot and go, “I spent fourteen hours on him,” while Mikey accidentally breaks it five seconds later.

Donnie absolutely stays awake way too late working on tech projects and then acts shocked when he falls asleep standing up during training.

Donnie gets flustered when people compliment him directly. Not even romantic compliments — just genuine praise. He immediately starts overexplaining things to cope.

He canonically has the worst tunnel vision ever. If he’s focused on something, the world could literally be ending behind him and he wouldn’t notice until Mikey screams.

Donnie absolutely mutters to himself while working. Full conversations. If someone answers him suddenly, he gets startled every single time.

—you know, i was trying to focus on training… but then you showed up, and that’s honestly not fair —he chuckles awkwardly—. im serious, you have really good timing… or really bad timing; depends how you look at it.

raph is terrrible at intentional flirting because when he likes someone, he gets protective, grumpy, and weirdly possessive of their safety. most of his flirting happens accidentally through actions rather than words. if he ever tries to be smooth, he would get embarrassed halfway through.

—what? that guy was bothering you —he crosses his arms—. no, i ain’t jealous, im just sayin’ if you’re gonna hang out with somebbody, maybe pick somebody who can actually protect ya —he then realizes what he just implied and immediately looks away—. ykw? forget I said that.

donnie becomes a nervous disaster; he overthinks everything, rehearses conversations beforehand, and tries to impress you with his intelligence. the more he likes you, the more likely he is to ramble.

—oh, uh, hi —he then immediately launches into a random science fact—. did you know youre smile activates reward centers in the brain? not that i was studying your smile specifically! i mean-…i noticed it scientificlly. not in a creepy way —he laughs nervously—. wow, i somehow made it worse, right?

mikey’s the most naturally flirty turtle by far because he’s playful, confident, and makes people laugh without even trying. unlike donnie, he doesn’t overthink; unlike leo, he doesn’t hide it; unlike raph, he doesn’t panic. hell openly show interest while keeping things fun.

RAPHAEL

Raph needs someone who isn’t intimidated by him but also doesn’t constantly fight him, because despite his tough attitude, he’s actually very sensitive underneath. it would be ideal for him a partner who can stand their ground when he’s being stubborn, while still showing him affection and reassurance, because it would bring out his softer side. someone fiery enough to keep up with him but emotionally intelligent enough not to turn every disagreement into a war.

DONATELLO

Donnie would work best with someone who genuinely appreciates his intelligence but sees him as more than “the smart one.” he tends to get obsessive and overthink things, especially regarding relationships, so a patient partner who encourages him to relax, get out of the lab occasionally, and communicate openly would be great for him. hed probably fall hardest for someone who shares at least some of his interests and enjoys listening to him ramble about science.

MICHELANGELO

he naturally positions himself on the side of the sidewalk closest to traffic, walls, ledges, or anything that could be dangerous; it becomes second nature to him.

raph develops the habit of announcing his presence when he enters a room because he doesn’t want to accidentally startle you, and after a while it becomes something he does automatically.

whenever the two of you explore somewhere unfamiliar, he’s constantly paying attention to the environment (he quietly describes obstacles, stairs, uneven ground, and changes in direction without making it feel like a big deal).

he secretly loves how much your other senses impress him: the first time you recognize someone by their footsteps or identify something from a tiny sound, he’s completely caught off guard.

hes a very physical person, so he often guides you through touch (a hand on your shoulder, an arm offered for support, a gentle squeeze of your hand when a room gets crowded). its comforting for both of you.

his brothers notice that raph becomes much calmer around you since you’re relying on information from sounds, touch, and tone of voice, so he learns to control his temper more than usual because he doesn’t want his anger to make you anxious.

he worries whenever you’re hurt, even if it’s something small (a bumped knee or scraped hand can have him hovering nearby for the next hour, pretending he’s not concerned).

he becomes very aware of keeping walkways clear around the lair. if one of his brothers leaves random junk lying around where you could trip over it, raph’s the first one complaining.

You hadn’t meant to…but the moment your lips met his, you knew you were done for. The softness of his mouth was unexpected—firm and lingering just long enough to stir something within.

Friends didn’t kiss friends and inadvertently catch feelings for said friend, did they?

Let’s go back to the beginning.

Raphael—a one-turtle wrecking ball of muscle and power, standing six feet tall or more—was your friend. Your best friend for over a year. It was difficult to pin down exactly when you two became friends. Introduced by your mutual friend, April, you were lucky enough to gain their trust, especially his.

In the beginning, you were quite sure that Raph really disliked you. True, the big, red brute didn’t exactly exude a friendly demeanour, and it appeared as though he was actively avoiding you whenever you’d come to visit. If the gathering was at your place, he remained quiet and moody, his replies reduced to one-word answers whenever you tried to engage with him, yet still remembered his manners whenever you gave him something.

Then, he’d tried your cooking and visibly appeared as though he was enjoying it. You’d actually got five words from him that day, all strung together.

“Thanks, this is really good.”

In the following weeks, whatever hangups he’d held concerning you had seemed to dissipate, and he finally began talking to you a little more. From these small conversations, you’d discovered that you both had a lot in common, such as similar tastes in TV shows, movies, and video games. It was a downhill slide into friendship from there.

You surmised that his hesitancy to get to know you during those first few weeks was simply his tendency to be slow to trust new people. That was the explanation his brothers had given you as an attempt to dissuade you from giving up on him. If you were honest with yourself, the thought had crossed your mind. If he had been determined to dislike you, you would have accepted it, despite the hurt that came with it. Like him, you were not everyone’s cup of tea either.

You’d never been so relieved to be wrong about your assumptions. It felt like a privilege and a gift to be welcomed into his world because he was exceedingly more interesting than you’d originally realized. Raphael was wrapped up in many layers of complexity, and you’d barely scratched the surface. It was only through many repeated meetups and group get-togethers that you two had really gotten to know each other and transcended into ‘best’ friend territory.

For all the curveballs life decided to mercilessly bestow upon you, Raph was there, and for every less than favourable moment he endured, you were there for him in turn.

You lost your job? Raph had been there with your favourite snacks and had already asked Donnie to search for replacement jobs for you.

Another patrol gone wrong for him? You baked his favourite cookies (peanut butter chocolate-chip) and told him to come over so the two of you could watch something loud and action-packed.

You were sick, on your period, or otherwise not at your best? He wouldn’t come over unless you gave him the green light to do so. He respected that you sometimes needed your space, offering quiet support from afar.

Likewise, you understood his need for alone time as well and never pushed for him to grace you with his presence, though he never stayed away for long. Something about you always drew him back, and out he would emerge like a hermit crab from its shell.

Recalling the most recent breakup, he’d been there for that, too. When you’d first started the relationship, Raph had become grumpier and quieter, leading you to believe he wasn’t really okay with it, or with the person you were dating, for that matter, but never once did he tell you to break up with the guy or offer any unsolicited advice.

He had his reservations, of course, ready in his back pocket for the day you asked his opinion, because fuck, he really didn’t like that guy. It wasn’t that he didn’t want you to be happy, but he’d known the guy was bad news from the moment you’d told him how the first date had gone. He’d held out hope that you’d be smart enough and have the awareness to see for yourself, but the second that guy got out of line and hurt you, he’d make him wish he’d done anything else but.

The day the relationship broke down, he waited, hoping you’d reach out, and true to form, you did, sobbing in such a state of self-pity that you kept repeating how stupid you were. The second you’d asked for him, he’d dropped everything and left. Once there, he first made sure you had something to eat and drink, ordered your favourite takeout, and asked if you wanted to talk about it.

Never once did he say he told you this would happen or make you feel that any of this was your fault. Instead, he reminded you of your own inner strength and how you were free now from someone who’d been treating you badly. At one point, you asked for a hug, and no force on Earth could have stopped him from taking you into his arms.

“I gotcha, yer gonna be okay, don’t waste another thought on that asshole.”

Though you hadn’t seen it then, perhaps the connection you shared had always been there, hidden and dormant, waiting for just the right moment to evolve.

Both of you just needed a little push—a series of events perfectly orchestrated by the strings of fate itself.

It all started innocently enough. You’d just finished cooking dinner for yourself, and there was much more than you could possibly eat. Even if you saved it, you’d have leftovers for days, and if you were truly honest, you’d only want to eat them a day or two later, before the rest spoiled in your fridge…unless…

“Hey, Raph, you should come over. I made too much food again.” It wasn’t as though you planned to cook for him. The recipe for these Hawaiian meatballs called for an entire box of meatballs. “I got dessert too.” You added with a grin.

“I’ll never say no to a free dinner,” his gravelly voice replied.

Raph was more than happy to hop over for food, especially your cooking. It was one of the first things about you that made him lower his guard and let you into his world. He was very slow to trust and initially hesitant to get close to you because he was sure you’d find him unpleasant to be around. Foolishly, he assumed you’d gravitate toward his brothers instead, so he didn’t see the point.

After that first bite, it hit him just how wrong he was. You were kind and funny, and your cooking never disappointed. As things progressed, he found acceptance in himself with the fact that you really did like him.

For whatever reason, you wanted to be around him, and he, in turn, found he really enjoyed your company as well. It was a done deal; he craved your attention and found every reason he could to be in your presence.

Of course, he was in complete denial about the development of his romantic feelings for you. There was no way he could like you more than a friend, and he was absolutely sure you’d only ever see him as such.

Despite everything, it warmed his heart greatly that, in events like this, you always thought to call him first to share your cooking.

This had been going on for months. Just the two of you having weekly dinners together. Occasionally, you cooked for his brothers as well, but that meant doubling your recipes and leaving absolutely no leftovers. They often defaulted to ordering pizza because each of them could finish one on their own, and it was an easy way to feed them all. As your best friend, Raph was always your first choice for an impromptu dinner date.

After the call, you bustled about, preparing the plates—a modest portion for yourself and a much larger one for him. This turtleman was over 200 pounds of muscle, and that kind of power required a lot of fuel.

Luckily, you liked to cook and usually ended up with way more food than you could eat.

Just as you were placing the food on the table, you heard the distinct tap of his knuckle on the glass, his way of not startling you. Quickly, you waved him in, and the soft slide of the window preceded his entrance. Despite his size, he could be as silent as he wished, his footfalls barely audible as he closed the window and drew the curtains.

“Smells amazin’,” he commented, stepping into the kitchen. “Ya sure ya ain’t hidin’ Guy Fieri round here?”

You snorted softly at the light teasing, rolling your eyes before giving him a smirk.

“If anyone needs his help, it’s you, he who tried to microwave a boiled egg,” you sassed.

Raph huffed in playful indignation. “That was one time!”

You just laughed, poking his massive bicep. “That’s all it takes, one time.”

“Har, har,” he deadpanned, looking around your kitchen and automatically using his superior sense of smell to see what you cooked.

“Hawaiian meatballs and rice,” you replied, handing him a fork. “Easy, meatballs in the Instant Pot and rice in the rice cooker.”

It was almost funny how fast he moved to the table to sit, barely remembering to use his manners and eking out a quick thanks.

Raph was adorable when he really liked something. He eased his bulk into your small kitchen chair and dug in right away. His sounds of enjoyment, how quickly he cleaned his plate, and his request for more were endearing. By the time you’d finished your own plate, he was already polishing off his second helping.

You couldn’t help but giggle softly at his antics. “I’m glad you liked it.”

“You kiddin’? Yer an amazing cook, I should be so lucky that I’m the one who gets to eat with ya. Hell, I’m still thinking about that stir fry ya made last week.”

A soft blush colored your cheeks as he spoke, praising you like you were a Michelin-starred chef. It was enough to make you babble out an answer, humbly downplaying your skills in the kitchen. “Aw, I’m just trying not to have a ton of leftovers.”

“It’s good, better than Mikey’s cookin’, don’t tell him I said that.” That was high praise indeed because you’d tried Mikey’s cooking and it was very good. Mikey did most of the cooking in the lair after all, but he liked to experiment with interesting ingredients and spices, though, and sometimes it ended up being too much for your palate. You preferred simple, yet hearty recipes. Soups and stews were your favourite.

Apparently, they were Raph’s as well. He’d had three bowls of beef stew the last time you made it.

Despite having a fairly good appetite, Raph never finished your food completely; he only ever took enough so you’d still have leftovers for the following day.

He was thoughtful like that. His kindness manifested itself in other ways as well. Sometimes you found little presents, secretly stashed where he knew you’d see them.

Much like a dog bringing a special stick for its preferred human, Raph was thoughtful in a way that reminded you a little of a crow. He would take the time to leave your favourite drink or a chocolate bar you liked on the fire escape during his patrols, or leave a little something in the lair for you to find.

It was very sweet of him, and over the course of your friendship, you found yourself contemplating what it would be like if you were more than just friends. Surely it was just wishful thinking on your part; you’d been friends for about a year, and Raph would’ve made a move if he was interested, right?

On this particular night, however, the veil of uncertainty was not only lifted but completely tossed out the window.

It was during the cleanup after dinner. You’d packed up the rest of dinner in one of your glass containers while Raph was gathering the plates and rinsing them in the sink before loading them into your dishwasher. As you put the container in the fridge and turned to gather the inner pots from the rice cooker and the instant pot, you slipped. There was a small puddle of water on the floor, and you’d lost your footing on the slippery kitchen tiles.

Before you could fall flat on your face in an embarrassing display of clumsiness, his strong arm shot out and caught you, pulling you flush against his very solid chest. Startled, you tilted your face up, and the momentum brought your lips together in a brief yet unexpected kiss.

His mouth, of course, was larger than yours, but far softer than you imagined. It nearly enveloped yours before he quickly pulled away. A myriad of expressions crossed his face as he released you. Shock, realization, and panic were most evident as his alarmed gaze darted around the kitchen. He was trapped.

“S-sorry, fuck, I didn’t mean ta…” he stammered, backing away as he tried to make his retreat, his eyes wide. It was reminiscent of a caged animal, looking for a way to escape a dangerous situation.

Did he really regret kissing you that much? The thought sparked a flicker of uncertainty, but if there was ever a time to be honest about your feelings, this was your chance. It was now or never.

“Raph…it’s…it’s okay. I didn’t mind.” Your heart was pounding in your ears as you waited for his answer. No longer trying to run, he seemed to be trying to form something that resembled a coherent answer.

“…Really?” The tiny amount of hope in his voice made you want to reach out and hold him, especially with the following comment of, “But I’m…not human.”

He was so sweet and clueless, thinking that mattered to you. Taking a deep breath, you continued, “I’m okay with that, in fact, I like that about you, Raph.”

He looked as though you’d cracked the code to his innermost workings, but was still trying to process what you’d just said.

“Ya like… me?” he was dumbfounded. How could someone as pretty and perfect as you possibly like him? He still seemed to be in fight-or-flight mode, so you spoke a bit more gently.

“I do like you, Raph.” Your voice was stronger now, your confidence growing. “Please don’t run.” Carefully, you placed your hand on his chest to ground him, and felt him release a shaky breath.

“I… like ya too…” he laughed softly, relieved and still in disbelief that he’d somehow caught your eye. He’d spent all these months thinking something like this would never happen for him. In his mirth, he wrapped his arms around you and kissed you, properly this time.

You smiled into the kiss, your lips sliding over his slowly at first as your arms slid around his neck. Just a taste of you was not enough, apparently, as he opened his mouth and, with careful insistence, demanded entry to yours, and you were unable to deny him.

His larger tongue swept into your mouth, and you moaned, tangling yours with his in an age-old dance that seemed to come naturally to both of you.

Raph tightened his hold on you, pressing you closer as the kiss grew more heated and he plundered your mouth. Reluctantly, you pulled away to catch your breath, and you laughed softly as he pressed his forehead against yours. His chest heaved lightly as well, and, pressed so close, you could even feel his heart beating rapidly beneath the firm plastron.

“Is this real?” he husked, his green eyes boring into yours with a soft warmth reserved only for you.

“It’s real…I’m real.” You whispered, reaching to cradle the back of his head. “Stay with me.”

“Always.” He answered fiercely, cradling you close, protectiveness emanating in waves.

The intensity of the moment had you shying away a little. With a nervous giggle, you planted a quick kiss on his snoot before hiding your face in his chest. “Good…” you murmured, “cuz I’m not gonna let you go.”

Raph rumbled with a low chuckle and wrapped his arms around you just a bit more tightly while he kissed your head. Now more at ease with the brand new concept of having you as his girlfriend, he continued to hold you quietly for a moment. “Gotta say, feels real nice havin’ ya in my arms like this.”

Warmth bloomed in your chest as you smiled. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he husked, “but it also makes it easier ta do this.”

Without giving you time to react, Raph attacked with gentle, tickling fingers, intent on making you laugh and squirm.

“Raph!!” you squealed, writhing around like a noodle in his arms, trying to escape. “You jerk!”

“Whatsa matter? Why ain’tcha runnin’?” he teased, still tickling you while holding you close.

Finally, you managed to slip through his arms and duck out of his grasp as you made a mad dash for your room. A gasp escaped your lips, your adrenaline spiking as you heard his heavy footsteps behind you, chasing you like you were his prey. Still cocky though, you breathlessly called behind yourself, “Can’t catch me!”

“That’s what you think, sweetheart.” Of course, he caught up with you, scooped you up, and pulled you onto the bed as you shrieked in surprise. Not giving you a moment to breathe, he sealed his mouth over yours in a deep kiss and planted ticklish pecks all over your neck and the exposed skin just above your breasts.

You were still catching your breath as your eyes met, the playful situation now more of something heavier, deeper, an unspoken agreement between you both that you needed something more.

With his weight carefully distributed on top of you, Raph captured your lips desperately, a low groan rumbling out of him as you returned the kiss just as passionately.

He broke the kiss moments later, looking as if he really couldn’t understand how he got so lucky to be in this position with you.

“How can ya kiss me so sweetly when I’m lookin’ like the creature from the black lagoon?” he wondered, taking a moment to caress your cheek.

As off-putting as he found himself, his turtley features made him all the more attractive and handsome in your eyes.

You were, after all, a reader of non-human smut-based romance novels with an affinity for big, grouchy creatures with a soft side reserved only for the ones they choose to be with.

“Raph, I don’t know how you don’t see it, but you are a very attractive guy. You are to me, anyway, and anyone who told you otherwise just doesn’t understand how special you are.” Speaking from the heart, you cupped his large face in your hands, rubbing your thumb over the scar above his lip. It was your hope that your words really hit home because this man deserved to feel confident about himself.

He made no attempt to refute your claims; instead, he seemed to swell with pride, smiling as he dipped his head down to yours, kissing you with a renewed sense of need.

Dear Lord, this man could kiss. Despite the fact that his mouth was huge, he’d had enough practice to know exactly how to move his lips over yours, gently sucking your bottom lip and coaxing you into opening your mouth as though it was an effortless feat.

Thus far, he’d restricted himself to nothing more than respectful touches, smoothing his hands over your arms, tangling his fingers in your hair and brushing his knuckles against your cheek. Hearing you groan with the onset of deeper kisses seemed to unleash a slightly more feral version of himself.

He stole the breath from your lips, first by tightening his hold on you and sliding his hand down your side with purpose to grasp your thigh, hiking it up.

One roll of his hips on yours had heat pooling in your core. You grasped at his shoulders, your desperation matching his as the scent of your arousal quickly became evident, especially to him.

Raph tore his mouth from yours, looking positively feral, a growl rumbling in his chest as he tried to regain some sense of control.

“I’m…tryin’ not to throw too much atcha at once, but fuck, baby, you smell amazing…”

“Of course you can smell that…” you answered breathlessly, while raising an eyebrow at him. “What does that tell you?”

He smirked, his deep chuckle belying a longing to have more of you. “Tells me, I should never doubt you again, but also fuck me, this is moving faster than I thought it would, and I wanna touch ya, baby…can I?”

You were quite certain that, aside from lightning striking you down, nothing he could say would make you deny him; you’d stamped your approval of such a thing long ago, on the slim chance the stars would align and your relationship might develop from friendship to something more. You’d imagined countless interactions like this one, and you knew Raph would take care of you in the most intimate of ways.

“Yes…Please, Raph, I need you to touch me, please.” If it sounded as though you were a little too desperate, there was no shame in it. You could tell by the way his gaze darkened with need that he wanted this just as much as you did.

Rolling to his side, Raph released his hold on your thigh and gently brushed his fingers over the thin expanse of skin between the waistband of your pyjama shorts and the hem of your tank top. The rough pads of his fingertips on the softness of your belly made you shiver, and then he carefully pushed the fabric up, watching you for any sign that you might tell him to stop.

That was the last thing on your mind; instead, you were wishing you hadn’t worn a bra, but an hour ago, the thought would’ve been incomprehensible since he was just a friend then.

He didn’t seem to mind, however, carefully taking one of your covered breasts into his large hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Perfect…” he murmured, doing the same to the other one. “This ones a bit smaller.”

You laughed, despite the fact that he was feeling you up like this. Of course, his ninja hands would be able to pick up the slight difference in size between your breasts.

“How very astute of you, gonna give me a breast exam next?”

Your sass earned you a very deliberate brush of his thumb across your nipple, and then he was pulling the bra down to give you a small pinch, making you gasp.

“Behave yaself, I’m just gettin’ started. Arms up.”

You did as he asked and your top was pulled up and off. Then he turned you gently to work the back clasp of your bra. That too was removed, and he kissed his way between the valley of your breasts while caressing one with gentle squeezes.

“This one seems alright…” he kissed your nipple and moved onto the next,kissing that one too, but this time his tongue swirled around that nipple with the purpose of making you moan before he released it, blowing a soft puff of air on the damp skin. “That one is real good.”

“Fuck…” you breathed. “Please more.”

Raph was more than happy to spend some time worshipping your breasts, alternating between them and sucking each nipple until they appeared perfectly firm. All the while, you were practically squirming beneath him, groaning in pleasure as the pressure between your legs grew.

“Raph…fuck, go lower…”

Your shorts and underwear were both removed a bit roughly while he nudged your legs apart. Your heart was pounding as you watched him slide a large finger through your folds.

“So fucking wet…all cuz of me.” His expression, while positively carnal, was laced with pride at the fact that he’d been the one to elicit such a response in you.

You trembled from both his touch and the reverence in his voice.

“Don’t worry, sweetness, I’m gonna take care of ya.” His finger was doing long strokes from your clit, through your folds to your opening as though he was playing you like an instrument, and your body came alive. No one had ever made your body respond quite like this like this. Already, Raph seemed to know you intimately, learning for himself all of the ways you liked to be touched.

“That’s…ah…right there…holy shit!”

After working your clit with his thumb, he’d gently prodded your opening with his index finger before pushing inside.

“This okay?” he asked, only slightly concerned that this might be painful for you.

“Yes! Yes, okay…yesss.” You hissed in pleasure as he curled it within your depths, finding just what he was looking for to amplify your impending release.

His finger and thumb never stopped moving, even as he moved to kiss you, swallowing up your desperate sounds while your hands grappled for his shoulders, squeezing tightly.

It was when your thighs began to shake uncontrollably that he finally broke the kiss, his deep voice in a husk, “That’s it…you’re gonna cum so beautifully for me, darlin’.”

A strangled whimper was your response as you felt him shifting his body, moving his bulk down between your legs and settling himself there.

“Never did get to have my dessert,” he noted, removing his thumb to replace it with his tongue.

With the combined stimulation of his tongue on your clit and his finger buried deep, you were beyond words, your body snapped tight like a rubber band at the very edge.

“C’mon sweetheart, let go for me, I gotcha…” he applied more pressure with his teasing tongue at just the right spot.

To say you cried out his name was an understatement as you nearly screamed it in the throes of your release. Raph worked you through it with every intention of prolonging it as long as possible. It was only when you finally relaxed, shuddering from the onset of sensitivity, that he finally drew his hand away, but not before tasting the essence of you by sucking on the finger that was inside of you moments ago.

“Lookin’ forward to doin’ this with just my tongue next time. Ya taste so sweet.”

Your entire body was flushed pink as you drew forth a breathless laugh, watching him adjust his shorts.

At just a glance, you could tell it was something impressive. Your intrigue at what lay beneath had you moving to your knees and reaching for him.

“Wait…” he stilled your hand while putting forth a sense of uncertainty you were sure probably had something to do with his anatomical differences compared to your own.

“It’s okay, Raph, you’re not gonna scare me with whatever you have hiding in there. Let me see?” you implored him gently while rubbing his thigh.

Some of the tension he’d been holding onto seemed to dissipate as he moved his hand, allowing you access to a part of himself that very few had been granted the privilege of seeing.

Wordlessly, you guided him to sit back against the pillows and cushioned headboard of your bed and placed your hands on his shorts before gently pulling them down.

“Just… I’ll understand if ya wanna take things slow, it’s…it’s a lot.” He was still speaking a bit too fast as you revealed an absolutely massive cock, the likes of which you’d never seen before.

“Oh…” you softly exclaimed, pulling his shorts down and off so you could really get a good look at him.

You’d seen what an actual turtle penis looked like; the cloaca anatomy was the same, but his manhood was definitely not. The head of his cock flared outward with an almost flower-like appearance, blush pink before tapering off to a darker green at the bottom. He was thicker than anything you’d experienced before and longer, too. You estimated over eight inches; only about seven would be feasible to fit inside of you.

“Um, wow, you weren’t kidding…” His cock was as intimidating as the rest of him, and taking it was going to require a lot of careful stretching over quite a few sessions for you to get used to him. With a sinking feeling in your stomach and a flash of disappointment, you realized that tonight you probably weren’t going to be able to manage it.

It wasn’t difficult for Raph to sense the turmoil in your thoughts as he drew your attention back to him. “Hey… sweetheart, listen, we don’t gotta shoot for a homerun tonight, it’s gonna take patience, and a lotta lube plus me getting you ready before you can take even half of this, I’m just happy to be here with ya, however ya wanna do this, I’m game for it.”

Now it was your turn to feel more at ease as you let out a breath of relief. “Time, patience, and a lot of lube,” you agreed, “and maybe the purchase of some larger toys to help with the stretch.” It was okay that you were unprepared for this sexual encounter. Neither of you had been expecting a kiss, let alone being in your bed with not a stitch of clothing between you.

“Anything you need.” He said, briefly touching your arm with a feather-light caress. “I got stuff back home, even rings that’ll stop me from going too far into you.”

Your heart swelled from his thoughtfulness in this manner, and you rubbed his chest lovingly. “I am one hundred percent on board with that. For now, though, can I try a different way to make you feel good?”

“Absolutely…” He was trying not to appear too eager for your touch, but he craved it, had fantasized many times about this exact situation, with you in control, just like this.

After moving to straddle his massive thighs, you reached to grasp him firmly and stroked him gently as a hiss of air escaped his lips. He was impressive, quite thick, your thumb and forefinger barely able to touch as you worked him slowly.

“Just like that, baby…”

You were growing more confident with each deep stroke of his length, and it was apparent that Raph was enjoying it as well, with how he was trying hard not to thrust up into your hand. Tightening your grip just slightly and rubbing your thumb over the frenulum and his unique tip made him groan and buck his hips.

“Shit…” His control was fraying. He was now fisting the sheets and biting his bottom lip, his huge chest heaving; it wouldn’t be long.

You simply smirked, stroking him faster. “Feels good?” With your voice pitched lower, you added, “I want to see you finish for me, Raph, I want you to cum on my hand, make an absolute mess of things.”

He growled, his body tensing up as a precursor to his release, “I’m fucking close… keep stroking me, baby, just like that…”

It was surreal, seeing how much of an effect you had just by using your hand to pleasure him. Licking your lips, you peered down at his very unique tip, fluttering and pulsing slightly from your touch.

While maintaining your pace, you decided to run your tongue from the frenulum to the small slit that was very generously leaking pre-cum onto your hand and swirl it around.

The effect was instantaneous as Raph’s entire body jerked and he swore loudly, “FUCK!” The finishing move, the teasing touch of your tongue on his cock had led to an absolutely explosive release.

Hot liquid shot out in spurts, coating your hand and dripping down onto his lower plastron as he shuddered in pleasure.

“Fuck…fuck…” he breathed, basking in the moment before the absence of your touch brought him back to himself, his softening length now lying in a pool of his cum on his lower plastron.

You were shuffling around on the bed looking for something to clean your hand with.

“Shit, baby, I’m sorry, here, use these.” He was tossing his gym shorts over that you caught in your clean hand.

“Then they’ll be messed up.” You protested gently, “What will you wear?”

He laughed, deeply and full of reverence for what just transpired between you both, “Sweetheart, I don’t plan on wearing much after what we just did. Clothing optional.”

You snorted with laughter, using his shorts to clean your hands and the mess that was left over on him before tossing them into your laundry basket. Satisfied with that and noting how quickly his cock had retreated back inside his tail, you had little time to react before Raph had taken hold of you and gently pulled you back down into his huge arms and warm embrace.

“You are fucking awesome, baby, fucking best hand job of my life.” He praised, kissing you more than a few times to show just how much he appreciated you. “Ya didn’t have to, but ya did, and I’m really grateful ya liked it.”

“I wanted to.” You giggled between his kisses. “That’s what girlfriends do, right?”

He grew quiet then, fixing you with an intense look that made you nervous because neither of you had placed a label on what this was now. Best friends, yes, girlfriend and boyfriend? Partners? You hoped he was on the same page as you.

“Only the best girlfriends will put their mouths on a mutant turtle cock willingly.” He said, making you blush. “You’re more than just my girlfriend, you’re my best friend, somethin’ real special, and I can’t believe I got so lucky.”

You kissed him as the tension eked out of you like a slowly deflating balloon. His resolve was solid, just as unmoving as he was when he’d made up his mind about something.

In that moment, you’d become the single most important person in his life, and he had needed you more than he’d ever thought possible.

You needed him, too. You always have. He was your best friend and everything you wanted in a partner. You thanked whatever deities had brought you together in this moment. Who knew it would take only a near-wipeout-turned-surprise kiss for you both to confess your feelings?

Given how much this man loved to eat, you had a sneaking suspicion that this would lead to many more dinners, just like this one.

Dinner and dessert.

End

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