#bayverse raph

the first time you confessed that his blood smelled… different, he immediately became suspicious.

“what the hell does that even mean?” he’d cross his arms, convinced you were joking.

when you quietly admitted you were struggling not to think about biting him, his face turned bright red before he barked at you to stay five feet away.

he spent the next hour pretending it didn’t bother him while secretly wondering why you specifically wanted his blood.

when he eventually learned that vampires don’t simply “choose another person” when they’re attached to someone, everything changed.

he hated the thought of you suffering because you refused to feed from strangers, and while donnie insisted there had to be another solution, raph made up his mind on his own.

one night he simply walked over, rolled up the sleeve on his forearm, looked away with burning cheeks, and muttered, “just… get it over with.”

he tenses every single time. every muscle in his body locks the moment your fangs touch his skin. his hands curl into fists, his jaw clenches, and he lets out a low grunt through gritted teeth.

not because he regrets it—but because it hurts, and he’s never been particularly good at hiding pain. even then, he never once tells you to stop before you’ve had enough.

despite acting tough, he watches your face afterward more than his own wound. if your skin regains some color, if your eyes lose that hungry look, if you seem healthier… that’s enough for him.

he’ll quietly wrap a bandage around his arm while pretending he doesn’t notice you looking guilty.

he’d absolutely tease you afterward. “that enough for ya, vampire?” he’ll smirk, trying to lighten the mood because he knows you’ll apologize at least five times.

inside, though, he’s oddly proud that he could help you in a way nobody else could.

leo isn’t thrilled about it. he’s worried about infections, blood loss, your self-control… basically everything.

raph argues with him constantly about it. “i know what i’m doin’.”

he doesn’t, not really, but he’d rather deal with leo’s lectures than watch you slowly weaken because you refuse to feed.

your biggest fear is accidentally taking too much. one night you’re so hungry that you force yourself to stop halfway through, shaking so badly you nearly cry.

before you can apologize, raph cups the side of your face with one huge hand. “look at me.” you do. “you stopped. you were in control.” hearing him say it so confidently helps quiet the panic in your head.

he’s ridiculously protective immediately after feeding. maybe it’s because he’s slightly weaker for a little while, or maybe it’s because he knows you’re emotionally exhausted afterward, but he becomes even more possessive than usual.

one arm around your shoulders, keeping you close while glaring at anyone who gets too near, silently daring them to say something.

he absolutely refuses to let anyone shame you for what you are. if someone calls you a monster, his temper explodes before yours ever can.

“she ain’t hurtin’ anybody.” his voice drops into that dangerous growl everyone recognizes. “she’s got more self-control than most humans i’ve met.”

over time, feeding becomes strangely intimate rather than frightening. instead of treating it like a burden, raph starts preparing for it.

he’ll sit somewhere quiet, remove the wraps from his forearm, take a steady breath, and nod toward you. no dramatic speeches. no hesitation. just complete trust.

for someone as guarded as raphael, that’s about the closest thing to saying i love you.

one evening you quietly ask him why he keeps doing this when it hurts every time. he shrugs at first, avoiding your eyes like the question annoys him.

after a long silence, he finally mutters, “…because i can’t fix what you are…but i can make sure you don’t gotta go through it alone.”

then, embarrassed by his own honesty, he immediately tells you to stop looking at him like that before he changes his mind. even though you both know he never would.

raph hated the assignment the moment splinter told him. standing outside a princess’s room all day, following royal etiquette, escorting you through endless halls… it sounded like punishment.

he expected someone spoiled, delicate, and impossible to deal with. instead, he got you climbing out of your bedroom window before sunrise just to avoid your lessons.

by the end of the first week he was already muttering curses under his breath while dragging you back over the castle walls by your waist because, somehow, you’d managed to disappear again.

you absolutely loved testing his patience. if the king ordered you to stay inside, you’d immediately find a horse and ride into the forest. if raph said, “don’t touch that,” your hand was already reaching for it.

every single reckless decision meant he had to chase after you, and he complained the entire time. “ya got a death wish or somethin’?” he’d growl while hauling you over his shoulder after finding you wandering somewhere dangerous.

despite all the yelling, he’d never let a single scratch reach you.

raph wasn’t elegant like the other knights. he didn’t speak with polished words, didn’t bow perfectly, and definitely wasn’t charming in the traditional sense.

he’d rather lean against a stone pillar with his arms crossed than stand stiffly with perfect posture. the noble ladies whispered that he lacked manners. you thought it was refreshing.

he treated everyone honestly, including you, and never cared that you were royalty whenever you deserved to be called out.

whenever court politics became unbearable, you’d sneak away to the training yard just to watch him practice. he’d notice you pretending to hide behind the wooden fence almost immediately.

after rolling his eyes he’d toss you a practice sword, claiming, “if you’re gonna waste my time, at least learn somethin’ useful.” those lessons quickly became your favorite part of the day.

he acted rough, constantly correcting your stance with blunt comments, but every adjustment was surprisingly gentle, making sure he never actually hurt you.

if another knight, nobleman, or prince got too close and made you uncomfortable, raph noticed before you even had to say anything.

he’d quietly step between you and them, broad enough that they couldn’t even see you anymore.

no dramatic speeches were necessary. just one cold glare from beneath his helmet was enough to convince almost anyone that bothering the princess wasn’t worth the broken jaw they’d probably receive.

despite constantly arguing with you, raph secretly admired how stubborn you were. you refused to let people decide your future, hated being treated like an object to marry off, and weren’t afraid to speak your mind to nobles twice your age.

he’d never admit it out loud, but every time you challenged someone powerful he had to hide the tiny grin threatening to appear beneath his serious expression.

one of his biggest fears was failing his duty. whenever danger appeared, he stopped joking entirely. he’d immediately push you behind him, sword already drawn before you even realized something was wrong.

if there were ten enemies, he’d stand against all ten without hesitation. he’d rather die protecting you than return to the king having failed his promise.

you eventually discovered that underneath all the grumbling, raph had an incredibly soft heart. after particularly exhausting days, you’d sometimes find him sitting alone on the castle walls late at night, looking over the sleeping kingdom.

without asking permission, you’d sit beside him. conversation wasn’t always necessary. he’d complain that you should be asleep, but he’d never actually tell you to leave.

somehow those quiet moments became the only time neither of you felt the need to argue.

your father slowly began trusting raph more than almost anyone in the castle. at first he only saw him as another knight, but after watching him throw himself in front of danger again and again without expecting praise, the king realized there wasn’t a safer pair of hands to leave his daughter in.

meanwhile, you teased raph endlessly about becoming your father’s favorite. he’d groan dramatically every single time, insisting he was only doing his job… even though everyone knew by then it had become much more personal than duty.

over time, the line between assigned knight and constant companion completely disappeared.

wherever you went, raph wasn’t far behind—not because the king ordered it anymore, but because that’s simply where he wanted to be.

he’d still complain every time you dragged him into another ridiculous adventure, still call your plans stupid, still threaten to tie you to your chair if you escaped again.

he is absolutely terrible at apologizing with words.

raph is the kind of man who spends hours replaying the argument in his head, getting more frustrated with himself because he knows he crossed a line, but every apology he comes up with sounds weak or awkward.

his pride fights him every step of the way. after enough time passes, though, the guilt starts weighing on him much more than his ego ever could.

eventually he’ll show up wherever you are, leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed, looking anywhere except directly at you.

after a painfully long silence he’d mutter something like, “i… shouldn’t’ve said that.”

it’s short, rough, and nowhere near poetic, but for raphael, admitting he was wrong is one of the hardest things he can do.

if he says it, he genuinely means it.

he always tries fixing things through actions before words.

if you haven’t been eating much because of the fight, somehow your favorite food mysteriously appears beside you; if something around your apartment needed fixing, you’ll suddenly notice it’s been repaired overnight; if it’s cold outside, he’ll leave a hoodie for you without saying anything.

he isn’t trying to buy your forgiveness—he simply doesn’t always know how to express affection verbally after conflict.

taking care of you has always been the language that comes most naturally to him, even when he’s still struggling to look you in the eye.

if you ignore him after the argument, it genuinely hurts him more than he’ll ever admit.

raphael can handle yelling, insults, even someone throwing a punch at him, but silence? that’s torture.

every unanswered text or every time you quietly walk past him makes him feel like he’s losing you, and that fear slowly chips away at all that stubbornness.

eventually he’ll crack, following you around until you finally acknowledge him. “come on… don’t do this. yell at me if you want. just… don’t act like i ain’t here.”

beneath all that muscle and attitude is someone who’s terrified of being abandoned by the people he loves.

once you finally agree to talk, he doesn’t interrupt you.

that’s probably one of the biggest signs he’s taking the conversation seriously.

normally raph jumps into every discussion with his own opinion before anyone finishes speaking, but when he knows he’s the one who messed up, he’ll force himself to stay quiet.

you’ll notice him clenching and unclenching his fists while you explain how he made you feel, jaw tight because hearing that he hurt you genuinely makes him sick to his stomach.

he might look defensive at first, but he’s listening to every single word, and later you’ll realize he remembered all of it.

physical affection becomes incredibly important to him after an argument, though he’ll wait for your permission before trying anything.

once he feels you’re no longer pushing him away, he’ll cautiously reach for your hand first, almost like he’s testing whether you’ll pull away.

if you don’t, his shoulders visibly relax. after that he’ll wrap both arms around you and hold you tighter than usual, resting his forehead against yours without saying much.

raph isn’t always good at explaining what’s in his heart, but that hug says everything: that he missed you, that he was scared, and that he doesn’t want another day spent apart over a stupid fight.

if he realizes the argument came from one of his own insecurities, he’ll reluctantly admit it. raphael hates looking vulnerable, especially because he’s spent so much of his life feeling like people see him as nothing more than a monster.

if jealousy, protectiveness, or fear of losing you caused him to lash out, he’ll eventually confess it in a quiet voice. “i got scared, alright? i ain’t proud of it.”

hearing something like that from him is incredibly rare, because it means he’s letting down walls that almost nobody else ever gets past. he’d rather expose that fear to you than let it keep damaging the relationship.

after the apology, he makes a genuine effort to change instead of pretending the argument never happened.

raph isn’t perfect, and he’ll probably lose his temper again someday because that’s simply part of who he is, but if he promised he’d work on something, he’ll actually try.

maybe he’ll stop himself before shouting, maybe he’ll take a walk to cool off instead of saying something cruel, maybe he’ll ask what you’re feeling before assuming the worst. every improvement is small, but it’s real.

raph has absolutely no patience for most people. if someone annoys him, they get a glare, a sarcastic comment, or they get ignored completely.

then you walk into the room and his entire expression melts without him even realizing it, his voice dropping into the gentlest tone anyone has ever heard him use.

the others never stop making fun of him because it’s honestly embarrassing to watch. one second he’s threatening to throw mikey across the lair, the next you’re asking him if he slept well and he’s quietly mumbling “yeah… slept better after you texted me goodnight.”

he pretends he hates physical affection in front of everyone else, acting like hugs are annoying.

with you, though, he’s practically attached at the hip, always finding some excuse to keep a hand on your waist, your shoulder, or to pull you into his lap whenever you’re nearby.

if someone is rude to you, they’re lucky if leo gets to them first. raph takes it personally every single time, his protective instincts kicking in immediately, but the second you place your hand on his arm and tell him it’s okay, he takes a deep breath because your voice somehow calms him faster than anything else.

you see a side of him nobody else really gets to. he talks quieter with you, smiles more, laughs without trying to hide it, and even lets himself be vulnerable.

sometimes he’ll just lay his head against your shoulder without saying anything, happy to exist beside you.

whenever you’re tired, he becomes ridiculously attentive: he wraps a blanket around you if you’re cold, carries you if your feet hurt, brushes your hair away from your face, and keeps asking if you’ve eaten enough even though he’s the one who usually forgets meals.

his brothers swear he’s been replaced by an imposter: they’ll watch him grumble at them all morning, then hear you call his name from across the lair and suddenly he’s answering with the softest “yeah, sweetheart?” imaginable.

despite looking intimidating, raph absolutely loves when you play with him. tracing circles on his arms, scratching lightly along his shell, rubbing his cheeks, or absentmindedly running your fingers over his head has him practically melting into your touch while pretending he’s “just comfortable.”

arguments between the two of you never last very long because he genuinely hates upsetting you. he’s stubborn, sure, but the second he notices tears in your eyes or hears your voice crack, all the anger disappears and all he wants is to hold you close until you’re smiling again.

every night before patrol, he always finds you first. no matter how rushed things are, he gives you a forehead kiss, rests his forehead against yours for a second, and quietly reminds you to stay safe while he’s gone.

even after months of dating, there’s a part of him that’s convinced one day you’ll wake up and realize you could do better.

he never says it outright at first, instead, it comes out in little comments: “you sure you wanna be seen with me?”, “people stare because i’m huge. you don’t gotta pretend it doesn’t bother you.”

every compliment you give him gets brushed off.

“you’re handsome.”

“…you need your eyes checked.”

he genuinely cannot understand how someone like you looks at him with so much love.

whenever you run your fingers over his plastron or the rough skin on his arms, he watches your face carefully, waiting for disgust, but it never comes.

the first time you kiss one of his scars, he completely freezes. “…why’d you do that?” because to him, those scars aren’t attractive. they’re reminders that he’s different.

if someone gives you a weird look while you’re out together, raph notices immediately, even if they weren’t staring at him, in his mind, they were; and suddenly he’s quieter for the rest of the day.

he tries to joke about it: “guess they ain’t never seen an ugly mutant turtle before.” but you can hear the insecurity underneath.

he sometimes avoids holding your hand in public not because he’s embarrassed of you but cause he’s embarrassed of himself.

he’s terrified someone will judge you for loving him.

there are moments where he pulls away after kissing you not because he doesn’t want more, but because he catches himself thinking that you deserve somebody normal.

if you ever tell him he’s beautiful, he actually gets emotional: “…don’t mess with me.”

you have to repeat it again and again because he honestly believes you’re only saying it to make him feel better.

he compares himself to human men constantly: “they can actually take you out during the day.”, “they don’t gotta hide.”, “their families don’t freak out meeting ’em.”

he doesn’t realize you’re not comparing him to anyone; you’re just happy he’s yours.

when he gets particularly insecure, he becomes clingier without meaning to: one arm is always around your waist and his hand always finds yours (he just needs the reassurance that you’re still there).

one night he finally asks the question that’s been haunting him.

—…if i looked human…—he hesitates—, would you love me more?

the second the words leave his mouth, he regrets asking, because he’s scared of the answer. if you answer without hesitation like “no, i’d still choose you” he would just stare and say something like “…even like…this?”.

he’ll never fully stop being insecure; years of feeling like a monster don’t disappear overnight. but every time you choose him again, or every kiss and every hug, even every “i love you”….it becomes just a little easier to believe that maybe someone can love a mutant exactly as he is.

he realizes he likes you long before he admits it to himself (at first, he just thinks he’s being protective, then he catches himself looking for you every time you enter a room, waiting for your laugh or making excuses to stand closer)

when he notices the way you look at leo, his stomach sinks.

he tries to convince himself he’s imagining it… until he catches you smiling at leo in that way, then he goes unusually quiet after that.

he starts volunteering to patrol alone more often.

he still flirts with you out of habit, but it’s less confident now, almost like he’s testing the waters, hoping he’ll finally see something in your eyes.

instead, you ask him if he thinks leo would like the snack you bought. “…yeah” that’s all he says cuz it hurts more than he’d ever admit.

he never blames you (you can’t choose who you fall for, and he knows that); he does, however, get irritated with leo for absolutely no reason.

“why’re you smilin’ like that?”

“what?”

“exactly.”

leo eventually figures it out not because raph tells him, but because raph suddenly gets annoyed every time your name comes up.

if leo likes you back, raph is crushed; he’d never sabotage his brother’s happiness, but he’d definitely disappear for a while to deal with it on his own.

if leo doesn’t return your feelings, raph feels guilty for secretly being relieved.

he never uses your feelings as an opportunity to swoop in. he refuses to be someone’s second choice.

when you’re heartbroken over leo, raph is the one sitting beside you in silence: he’ll hand you tissues without saying a word, he’ll listen to you ramble about leo for hours, even though every sentence feels like a punch to the gut.

if you apologize for talking so much about leo, raph just shrugs “nah. if it helps, keep talkin’.”

there are nights where he punches a heavy bag until his knuckles bleed because he can’t get over you.

raph accidentally compares himself to leo constantly: “he’s the leader”, “he’s calmer” or “he actually thinks before speakin’.”