All Hail Princess Kenny

bonus:

"they killed me" immortal whumpee chokes out, "in front of you, you didn't know."

"Sorry if I get blood on your floor. Don't worry, I'll clean it up later." "Wait, you're bleeding?!!"

"Why are you limping?" "Oh, yeah, I'm pretty sure I sprained my ankle during that chase earlier." "That was three hours ago!"

"You got any bandages?" "Sure, why?" "Got cut and I need something to wrap it up with." "Wait, let me see—Whumpee! Okay, don't move, I am getting the suture kit right now."

"Why are you holding your hand like that?" "Because it's broken."

"Where is all this blood coming from?" "Oh, that's me. I got stabbed."

*over the phone* "Hey, Caretaker, can you come pick me up?" *ten minutes later* "You didn't think to mention that you were shot?!!!"

"Mind if I pass out here? Thanks."

Tweek is going down a spiral by the news channels reporting on nothing but kidnappings, instead of comforting him, his parents say "Yes, all your fears are completely rational" and then they "test" him to see if he would open the door if his father pretended to be a police officer. That happened after he woke up from a nightmare of being kidnapped. And when Tweek "fails" the test and opens the door, his father points a gun at him and tells him a real kidnapper would have blown his brains out and dumped his body in the woods

At the next day, Tweek is so paranoid, he doesn't even go to the movie theatre because the ticket guy is not the one who usually hands out the tickets, so he runs away. And then Cartman, fucking Cartman, asks "God, what the hell did his parents do to him." Not "What's going on with him today, he's more stressed than usual", no, he asks "what did his parents do to him"