I'm no frootloop

kermit and scooter riffing on how their physicality doesn't let them open the envelope to announce the winner. the audience immediately cracking up when it cuts to statler and waldorf because they know what the bit is gonna be. jim henson slipping into the kermit voice accidentally before bouncing back at record speed and riffing on it. richard hunt genuinely laughing at jim's joke but doing so in-character. prime muppets was something else man

I'm not gonna lie the secret to success for a great many people is absolutely stimulant abuse

When I was “I want him” about a male character im not saying I wanna fuck him. I want him like a spoiled little girl wants a pony, I want to him so I can put him on my shelf for safekeeping, I want him like a good hearty stew on a winter’s evening, I want to put him in a jar and shake it.

there's been a robbery at the lourve???? please tell me they nicked the mona lisa it would be so fucking funny

i'm talking proper heist movie backflipping over lasers and cutting holes in the ceiling to slowly descend on a wire i want this shit to be FUNNY

apparently i, who has never edited wikipedia in my life, nor has ever had any desire to, am blocked from editing wikipedia. my crime, allegedly, is block evasion. my ban will expire in 2027. i did not ask.

oh by the way the wikipedia administrator who banned me for absolutely no discernable reason i can tell did so at 23:19 on christmas day.

apparently he's from alabama. which would make it early evening in his time zone. like bro go and eat with your family

well… *pushes up glasses* i’m something of a fucking idiot myself 😏

When people say "crab bucket mentality" I always think "buckets don't occur in nature" and then things like this.

I think that learning how to deescalate conflicts between children is a really useful skill to have, even if you don't have and don't plan on having children, because you will inevitably have to use those skills to deescalate conflicts between grown adults as well. generally you should kind of expect that, as a calm rational adult, you'll have to parent other strangers from time to time. this is part of living in society.

ICE being cowed and intimidated by a person in an inflatable frog costume is so Portland and probably the worst thing that could happen to ICE's image

A new cryptid has emerged, I guess.

The fact that 5s after this picture was taken, he thrust his hips at them repeatedly...