Tell me I’m lyin’

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@phantombishop
Tell me I’m lyin’

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but how AM i gonna be an octopus about this??? ://
wizard hat cowboy brim
Witch o’ the Wild West
how dare you. this is Elton John
when you tell a girl her outfit is really cute and she does a little pose thing then smiles, reblog if u agree

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In medieval culture, an event like a royal christening is not a private party; it’s the public social event of the year. To not invite any person of rank to such an event is a deadly insult.
Maleficent is certainly someone you wouldn’t want at a party, but she’s also someone powerful enough that only a fool would ever dare treat her with such blatant disrespect. The only way the King and Queen could possibly have gotten away with not inviting Maleficent was to not invite any of the fairies at all; inviting the other fairies and excluding her is explicitly taking sides in the conflict between the fairy factions.
Which means they made themselves her sworn enemies, and she responded by treating them as such from then on. If you actually get into analyzing the social dynamics of the scene, it’s very clear that Maleficent was willing to show mercy at first by giving the King and Queen a chance to apologize for their disrespect to her. She doesn’t curse Aurora until after she gives them that chance and they throw it back in her face with further disrespect.
And yeah, if the King and Queen had done the properly respectful thing and invited her, Maleficent would have given Aurora a scary awesome present. Moreover so would the other fairies, because at that point both sides would be using it as an opportunity to show off and one-up each other. What they gave her before Maleficent showed up was basically just trivial party favors by fairy standards.
How do you know so much about the social dynamics of medieval fairies
That is none of your business is it sir
when they show cartoon dogs as babies i go insane with love. they’re so small
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side-tummy sleeping with one leg curled up and the other straight out is top tier sleeping and you can't change my mind.
we take stuffed animals very seriously in this house

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gimme the peat boys and free my loam i wanna get lost in your rock and stone and sift away
(via)
How dare you make me read this with my own two eyes
pretty fucked up that cold drinks get hot while hot drinks get cold.. bitch stay at the temperature i put u at

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Wizard who got tired of fighting and casts fucked up unethical spells like “super brain hemorrhage” to end them faster
One time I did “Summon Water” inside a guys lungs and the GM allowed it because he had been playing for years and never seen anyone do that
Me “I can raise the temperature of a space by 5 degrees (Fahrenheit) per success” DM “Okay.” Me “And that’s 6 successes, so 30 degrees…” DM “Okay…” Me “And ‘inside the human body’ is a space, right?” DM “…I don’t like where this is going.” Me “So I’m going to raise the temperature inside his body 30 degrees.” DM “Yeah, so he’s dead now. He was fine, and then went through all the stages of heat stroke in half a second before his body went ‘No thank you’ and just shut off to stop it from being so hot. Good job.”
sticking one of those lil stickers from fruit on someone is a love language