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wow babe you’re really good at staying up incredibly late and barely sleeping every night

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

OK I WILL BECOME PERFECT STARTING NOW

motivating your bro is kinda gay. telling another dude 'come on!'. come on what, you?

Remember to let something you have no control over ruin your day today

going to the movies should cost $1.00. bobcorn should be a free treat

[delusional sports fan voice] but what if something really good happens this time……….

you should get a second evening for reading fan fiction. And you should get an extra day in the week to do arts and crafts.