Phandom Reverse Bang 2021

Phil turned around and laid each plant pot next to the other on the counter beside the window. All of his little babies looked so beautiful and were going so strong he couldn’t help but be proud. “You are all so good. Eat, feast on the sunlight and you will grow as tall as trees.”

He felt some leaves waving in the air at his side. “Oh, don’t be jealous. It doesn’t matter if you can’t grow as tall; you are all beautiful in your own way.” He ran a finger on the Monstera, watching it lean into his touch.

The sound of the bell on the door announcing that someone had walked into the store startled him. He pulled his hands away from the plant, already feeling guilty at the way its leaves hanged a little lower.

“Uh, hello,” the most gorgeous man Phil had ever seen said. It was only because of said beauty that he resisted the urge to scream at the state of the plant he was holding - poor thing.

“Hello! Welcome to The Green Thumb, my name is Phil, how can I help you?”

“Well… I bought this plant because my therapist said I need to be better at self-care and caring for a living being would help me do that but something is wrong with my plant.”

“I’m afraid that is barely a living being,” Phil smiled despite feeling a bit horrified. The plant was covertly trying to reach for him, but he couldn’t exactly fix it in front of the man.

“Would you help me, please? I don’t know how to help it. I don’t want it to die because of me.”

Phil’s eyes widened. Humans with good natured hearts were a bit rare these days, but he seemed to have found one. “Do you really care if it dies?”

“Of course! I feel guilty, but - I don't know what to do. When I water it less, it dries pretty fast and if it try to give it more, it starts to rot. I had to pull a few leaves out.”

“Oh, no, poor thing!” Phil said, putting a hand to his heart. “Please, let me see it up close.”

The man gave him the pot and when Phil reached for it their fingers touched. A purple light filled the store for just a second. “W- What is your name?”

“Dan… why?” He asked, although his voice sounded raspy all of a sudden.

Phil set the plant on the counter and touched its leaves, watching as it reached for him and every part of it returned to a healthy green.

Dan took a step back, but then he stepped closer to the counter. “Who are you?” He grabbed Phil’s wrist watching the light coming from their connection.

“I am a plant specialist; a witch. And I think that you have at least some witch blood yourself.”

“Witches don’t exist.”

“How many people have you touched that emitted purple light? How many people have you watched save a plant’s life before you?”

“I don’t know.” Dan looked at their joined hands and shivered. “This is scary.”

Phil removed his hand from Dan’s grasp. It doesn’t have to be; we are not child murderers or anything of the sort. Some of us are healers, others potion makers, others care for plants and are responsible for helping the harvests in times of famine. Without witches, mankind would have gone extinct thousands of years ago.”

“Are there evil witches?” Dan asked.

“No, those are demons posing as humans. It’s hard to get them out of office when humans keep voting for them but we eventually get them.”

“Are you implying…”

“Tell me with a hand on your heart that Boris Johnson looks or acts human.”

“Alright, fair enough.” He hesitated. “How would I know what I’m good in - if I was a witch.”

“Your powers should have manifested already. Do sick people come to you? Do you always help people with meds? Are you an excellent cook or baker? Do animals follow you?”

“I - I guess dogs really love me, and some cats too.”

“That must be it then. We need to teach you to control your powers, but you should be able to help animals with any ailments and calm them down.”

Dan’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. “Really? I would love that. Do you think I could be a vet?”

“Yes, but you would need to study for it as well. You can only trust your instincts so much. I have a degree in biology, for example.”

“Would you want to go for a cup of coffee so that you can tell me more about it?”

“We can’t discuss this in public, but I have coffee in the back along with some almond cookies.”

“That sounds amazing!”

Phil loosened up his tie and walked into his penthouse, resisting the urge to remove all of his clothes in the foyer. His suit was just a bit too tight now that he had started going to the gym more regularly, it felt almost constricting. He would need to go shopping and find something nice that actually fit his new figure.

Walking into his bedroom, he removed his jacket and trousers, toed off his shoes and decided to settle on the couch for the time being. He unbuttoned his shirt but got distracted before finishing the task; his stomach was growling. Pizza sounded nice, but honestly, he knew his entire week had been filled with junk food and not enough time to get something that wouldn’t entirely destroy him after a few days. He sighed in melancholy thinking back to his 20s when eating shit had no repercussions on his poor digestive system, but alas, he was a man of a certain age and had a stressful job, so he needed to be more careful with what he ate unless he wanted to schedule a weeklong time off from the company.

It didn’t have to be something nasty either, he could get something good, right? Like, maybe some ceasar salad, or Thai food, like a nice sweet and spicy veggies stir fry with kimchi and a veggie burger. That surely had to count as a healthy option.

He opened his favourite Thai place’s app and placed the order. Fuck he was basic… he just had to hit the button to remake his last purchase and add a £100 tip. It was only fair since he loved their food so much and he could afford it. He briefly wondered if the owners would be offended if he wanted to become an investor in their restaurant.

Phil dropped his phone next to him on the couch and let his shoulders relax as he played Apex Legends and killed some people. Time must have run away from him because when he looked up there was a full man with a motorcycle helmet on, standing beside him in silence holding his order.

“Aaaah!” He screamed.

“Sorry!” Yelled the guy before swiftly removing the helmet. He - he was beautiful. Warm brown eyes, brown curly hair, probably as tall as Phil himself and he had dimples. And a tiny golden hoop on his ear! “I am so - so sorry. I - listen, the door was open…” The longer he spoke the more the blush rose on his face. It was absolutely adorable.

“Well, you could have knocked, but I guess you are not here to kill me so it’s ok,” then Phil looked at the bag he was holding. “Is that my order? It looks a bit massive for what it is.”

“It’s two veggie burgers, two stir-fries and two orders of kimchi. The two beers are on the house for being a long time customer.” The guy spoke in a rushed tone but he was trying to avoid eye contact at all costs, why?

“That’s double of what I ordered,” Phil stood and the guy took a step back, his eyes going doing his chest and to his crotch. That’s when he realised… “Oh, my god. Sorry, I’ll be right back, stay right here.” The man nodded but gave him one last look.

Phil removed his button-up and pulled on some grey sweats, he reached for an old t-shirt, but looking in the mirror with his new -nearly visible- muscles gave him a boost in confidence so he decided to go without. He walked back to the man in his living room and watched him choke on his spit when he saw him. “I apologise; you will get another tip for the inconvenience.”

“You already gave me £50, that’s enough, thank you.”

“No, I put £100 but I still want to give you something extra.”

The man frowned and looked at the ticket, confirming what Phil had said. “So they stole half of the tip.” he left the bag on the coffee table.

“Hey, what’s your name?”

“Dan, why?”

“Dan, maybe you should quit.”

“That’s easy for you to say, you live here and I’m a broke art student.”

“Hmm, do you have anything to do right now?”

“Yes, I’m working.”

“I’ll give you a new job. Just, stay and have dinner with me.”

“Is this some sort of scam? Do you receive all of your delivery boys like that?” He pointed at Phil’s naked torso.

“No, only the cute ones,” Phil laughed, but apparently Dan didn’t think it was funny. “Listen, I have my own company and I can just give you a job to match whatever skills you have, it would give you good hours and nice pay so that you can focus on your art. My name is Phil by the way.” Dan was still silent. “No, I have never opened my door in my pants but in my defence, nobody had ever just let themselves into my home either.”

“I don’t know.”

“That’s alright. Just give it a thought alright. I’ll give you my card and if you are interested, just text me and we’ll see what we can do. No pressure. You can also take the other half of the order since I won’t be eating that much.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. You know it’s best to eat it while it’s hot than the next day.”

“Yeah, that’s true.”

Phil pulled a card from his wallet and gave it to Dan, who read it and ran his fingers through his curls. “Well…”

“Right, um…” he hurried to grab one of each container and put them in his jacket before closing the bag again. “Thank you.”

Phil tried to give him a £100 bill but Dan waved his hands and stepped back. “It’s too much. Good night, Phil.”

“Good night,” Phil said, shaking his hand and holding on but just a bit longer than normal before letting go. He watched as Dan walked out of the apartment and shut the door before dropping to the couch. He smiled just thinking about Dan’s dimples, his stomach was flipping over in a way it hadn’t since he was a teenager.

The doorbell rang again, startling him. He walked to the door and opened it. Before he could understand what was happening, Dan had pulled him into a deep kiss. He had no mercy for Phil, his hands exploring his chest and walking him back into his apartment. Phil pulled away with a smile. “I thought you couldn’t stay.”

“I changed my mind,” he said, grabbing Phil’s ass with both hands and kissing him again.

Tuesdays were Dan’s favourite days. His roommate always teased him for getting a crush on one of the regulars, but honestly, he’d been in a dry spell for months now and the guy was so polite and thoughtful and hot!

He was obviously in a good mood already, slowly dancing to FKA Twigs’ latest hit as he made yet another latte art for a blonde girl from his uni.

“Hey,” she bit her lip. “Um-” She giggled and bit her lip.

Oh, baby Jesus. Not the flirting. He smiled nonetheless.

“Yeah?”

She slid a piece of paper over the counter. “Um. Here’s my number,” she tucked her hair behind her ear. “Text me or whatever.”

“Oh, honey,” he said, watching her smile disappear and be replaced with a pale panicked look. “Don’t take me wrong, you are adorable and I love that sweater on you, but I’m just really Gay.”

“Oh,” she said, her lips frozen in a tiny o.

“Yeah. I would have texted you otherwise,” he said. “Promise!” he put his hand on his chest.

“Well… I could use a friend. Text me anyways, if you want! We could get together and watch movies and talk about men nasty boys.”

Aw, she was cute. “What’s your name?”

“Amanda.”

“Alright, Amanda. My name is Dan. I’ll text you and we can go from there.”

“I have a gay friend who is feeling a bit too lonely. Maybe I could introduce you?”

“Hmm, let’s take it one step at a time. Ok?”

“Yeah,” she shook her head. “Yeah, that’s totally fine. Sorry. So, hope you text me. No pressure though.”

“Alright, thank you.”

He watched her happily walk out of the shop with her second coffee of the day. Dan sighed and rested his chin on his hand, longingly looking to the door, but losing hope fast; it was 10 a.m already and Phil hadn’t come in for his caffeine boost. Dan briefly had to wonder if something happened to him, but shook his head and try to go about his day.

Tuesday turned to Wednesday, then Thursday and Friday with no life signals coming from Phil. In the 6 months Dan had worked at the coffee shop, Phil had never gone this long without at least coming to say hi. “Hey, Lana, do you think we should ask someone to do a welfare check on Phil?”

“Hmm, I don’t know. It is weird that he hasn’t come in a few days but maybe he just went back home for a bit.”

“In the middle of the semester?”

Lana shrugged. Yeah, maybe he was overreacting a bit. He needed to get a life and stop thinking about his favourite customer. He grabbed his phone and wrote Amanda a quick text. “hey it’s Dan from ‘Wild.’ are you still up for those movies?”

“Hi! OMG! Yes!!! Tonight?”

How could anyone be that excited about anything was beyond him. Then he got an address and agreed to go to the girl’s house against his better judgement. At least she didn’t look like a serial killer.

----

Dan shifted from one foot to the other in front of the door, second-guessing himself. What was the worst that could happen? Why was he so anxious about it? He was about to turn around and walk away when he heard a familiar voice and every hair on his body stood.

“Dan? What are you doing here?”

He turned around and met Phil’s gorgeous blue eyes. “Hi,” he said, his voice a bit too high.

“Do you know Amanda?”

“Yeah, she goes to the shop sometimes and I think we share a class.”

“Do you have a date with her?” Phil said, frowning. Why was he frowning?

“Uh, no! Noooo, nononono!” Dan laughed. “Just came over to watch a movie.”

“Are you sure?”

“Pretty sure.” Dan pressed his lips into a line. What was that all about? “Do you have a date with Amanda? Is she your girlfriend?”

The door opened swiftly to reveal Amanda standing there with a wide smile.

“Oh my god! Hiii, come in!”

Dan looked between them and walked in because he had been told to and felt too awkward to leave. “Hi, thank you.” He removed his shoes and put them into the shoe rack by the door Amanda was pointing to. He watched Phil do the same and set a set of keys on the console table. “So… how do you guys know each other?”

“I live here,” said Phil.

“I’m Phil’s bestie,” added Amanda.

Dan was dying to ask a million questions but he would have to space them out to avoid looking like a stalker. They walked to the living room and sat in front of the TV in awkward silence.

“Ooh, I should get us drinks and chips! Forgot them in the kitchen!” Amanda got up and powerwalked out of the room.

“Are you ok?” Dan asked. Phil’s usual smile was nowhere to be seen and he looked very uncomfortable.

“Yeah, why? Do I look bad?”

“No, no. I just - you haven’t come in for coffee for a while.”

“You noticed that?”

“Yes, of course. I thought about contacting the uni for a welfare check but my coworker said I was being dramatic.”

“Hey, maybe I was just trying to quit caffeine!” Phil finally smiled, clearly trying to hold back a laugh.

Dan’s lips twitched as well. “Yeah right. We know how you get without coffee.”

Phil rolled his eyes but didn’t comment on it. “So… you really did notice I didn’t stop by.”

“Yes, I noticed, ok? And what about it?”

“It’s just -” Phil leaned closer to him, cocking his head. “I didn’t think you’d care.”

Despite still being too confused about the situation, Dan kissed him, hoping that he wasn’t crossing a line or anything. When he tried to pull away, Phil wouldn’t let him.

They didn't actually see Amanda again until the next morning or watch that movie, but they made it up to her the following weekend.

Phil pouted as a cramp coursed through his incredibly itchy leg. He felt overwhelmed by… well - everything. The blanket texture, the inability to walk around or move much, how complicated showers were now and, above all, the fucking itch. Given the choice, he would probably bite his own leg off if it meant some relief from the itch.

He grabbed a sharpie from the nightstand and tried his best to shove it into his cast in a futile effort to scratch his leg but Dan walked in on him.

“Phil! I told you to stop that!” Dan pushed the door of their new bedroom with his foot and walked in with a tray with coffee and biscuits.

“I just can’t stand it!” Maybe he was being a bit over dramatic but he could feel his eyes welling up with tears.

“Hey,” Dan said. “I know, I know, but you are going to hurt yourself, ok?”

“Help?” Phil hated how small he sounded.

“Alright, let me do some googling and I’ll come back to help you. In the meantime, drink you coffee.” Dan dropped a noisy kiss to his pout.

“Thank you,” Phil said, attempting a smile.

Dan pressed another kiss to his lips. The random kisses were the only good side of being injured or sick. Dan always did it subconsciously.

Phil groaned and threw himself back on the bed. Of course he fell down the fucking stairs during the move. It was so like him to do something like that. At least they had designed the steps to be rounded to flow better with the rest of the concept. If Dan would’ve gotten his way, Phil would have broken even more bones, and he was in enough pain as it was.

He grabbed one of the biscuits and shoved it into his mouth, moaning at how good it was. The perfect amounts of butter and sugar, but still, he wasn’t happy. He scratched around the edge of the cast and it was somehow both better and worse.

“Aw, are you sad about your itchy leg?”

Phil nodded even though he knew Dan was partially mocking him.

“Google says that if we blow cool air between the cast and the leg, it should work.”

“With my luck, I would end up with a burnt leg.”

“I would be the one controlling the hair dryer,” Dan said, rolling his eyes. “First the glue, now this…”

Phil wrapped his arms around Dan. “I know, I can be a lot.”

“Yes, you can, but I think I can be more on most days, so it’s ok.” Dan buried his nose in Phil’s hair and smelled his shampoo.

“Are you saying we are that annoying couple?”

“Hmm, Definitely.”

Phil was not going to dignify that with an answer. “What are the other options?”

“Massage the area around the cast to improve circulation.”

He shook his head. “I’ve scratched it and it kind of hurts.”

Dan’s eyes softened. He climbed onto the bed and leaned down to press a kiss to his injured leg. “I’ll make you all better.”

“I’m not in the mood for that,” Phil said.

“I meant with the massage.” He grabbed Phil’s leg and propped it on one of the 20 cushions on their bed. Yes, it was too over the top but they had a chest to hide them from any visitors so where was the harm?” Dan finally put those huge hands to work and massaged his pale skin, giving him a sort of weird mix between please and pain; slowly working his way around the cast.

Phil groaned. At first it seemed like it hadn’t worked at all but the itch started to subside as blood returned to the area. “There, there.”

Dan snickered.

“Shut up.”

“Make me,” Dan said.

Dan sighed and looked up to the night sky, smiling at the stars shining above their heads. There was nearly nobody at the park, probably because it was too late to be doing this, sitting on one of the benches and just - existing together, but the moment called for it.

‘Valentine’s Day 2022’… It was not as if he had dissociated an entire decade of his life, but the fact that they had made it to 2022, or - actually, the fact that their beginning had been so long ago was absolutely mind-blowing. By the time the year was out they would be well into their thirteenth year together.

Honestly, he couldn’t remember ever wanting to be so committed to anyone or anything, and if someone would’ve asked him if he thought he would be in a stable relationship for that long, he would have said no. Not because of Phil, of course, his feelings for him were never in question, but because he thought he didn’t have it in him, to be mature, to fight for their love this hard, to let someone embrace him and support him as Phil did and be vulnerable without shame or regret.

“Hey,” Phil whispered in that low and raspy voice he used when it was just the two of them. “What are you thinking about?” He nudged him softly.

Dan looked at him, his wild hair dancing in the chilly winter breeze, glasses askew, and tiredness pulling at his eyes, and fuck, he loved him. He loved Phil so much. “You,” he said and let his head rest on Phil’s shoulder.

“Yeah?” He asked. “What about me?”

“Just…” Dan sighed, not knowing how to put it into words. “Do you ever wonder what our lives would be like if we hadn’t met?”

Phil shrugged. “No. I don’t want to think about it. I was very sad and lonely until you decided to stalk me.”

Dan grabbed Phil’s hand and brought it to his lips, biting his fingers softly. “I’m being serious.”

“Beast,” Phil said without flinching. “Why think about it? I’m just glad that you are here.”

“Yeah, I guess you are right.” Letting out a deep sigh that turned into a white mist before his eyes, Dan looked at the stars again, thinking back to those times when things got difficult, almost too difficult to continue, when he would lay awake at night, wondering if they would make it. The fairy lights were their safety blanket; what kept the demons at bay when he couldn’t sleep. Then there was Phil, sneaking into his bed to cuddle up to him without uttering a word, just holding him tight and pressing soft kisses in his hair, shushing him even when Dan wasn't speaking. Reminding him that come what may, they were still together; they were still there for each other.

Phil let go of his hand and pulled him closer, rubbing his shoulder gently. “It’s getting a bit too chilly for my taste. Why don’t we get some drinks and a few blankets and continue this on our rooftop.”