I'M A TOUGH BITCH, I SWEAR.

like to charge reblog to cast obviously

I could never be a manager at a major retailer bc they'd tell me to cut people's hours bc we're poor apparently and I'd be like no that's fucking stupid

angry customer called and was like "don't make me come up there and drag my sweaty balls across your face" and it was so hard not to be like "promise? 🥺" which is why i said it

Trying to make an american jiangshi by taping a mcdonalds receipt to the corpses forehead

i need you to understand the sheer detrimental impact this video has had on my ability to speak like a human being. how the sheer mention of "banana" or "chocolate" will immediately trigger my quoting bailey j mills. how even the less quotable moments ("what are you talking about MYANN" "ompa lompas" "mistah wonKHUHH") are emblazoned on the inside of my skull. this video is my spiritual advisor and my holy text, my drug of choice, my cloth mother, my burden, my salvation. bubble butt. bubble bubble bubble butt.