somewhat in charge

“How would you rather I say it? Oh yay, a fellow musical theater enthusiast here to share in my love of synchronized singing. I don’t even know who that is. Did she write that Chandelier song? You clearly need better focus. Have you considered that you might suffer from ADHD? One out of every eight kids suffers from it, you know. Okay, I made that up, but I’m sure it’s close.”

“Yeah, but I don’t really need the discount, so I’d feel weird asking for it. Wait, why shouldn’t I ask too nicely? Haha yeah, I think we all are. Especially the ones who got…” She makes woo woo gestures with her fingers to mean switched.

“I... guess not. This is why you never joined in our Christmas caroling, huh? You know, if you tried, I feel like you could lend a great soprano. I try my best. And while I have no idea if that statistic is correct, you know demigods are prone to ADHD, right?”

Peter, it’s okay. Really we— I know we have to talk but things just keep…keeping. You know? And this is just, it’s nice. Knowing you’re here and things are semi-okay, at least. I just…

I— [ takes a breath ] He… Something happened to him. Well, not him but- Other Jake. He…died. Oh gods- He just… Wasn’t there. He was gone. And mom- mom sent me, her, to that island and I was like, her and Uncle Drake’s love baby but everything was just… Not okay. There. And just- just for a little while I thought maybe we weren’t gonna make it back…

You’re right. You’re right, we need to talk things through. Gods, I’m just so glad you’re back safe.

… Okay? Don’t count on me. Unless you’re dead, I’m not gonna know.

Wh-- Oh, I forgot about your whole ghost thing. Melinoe, right?

Dude. Just take a nap. You’re stressing me out just looking at you.

For once, Rory, your silly quips aren’t so silly. I’m gonna nap for like twenty years. Wake me up for the next crisis, I guess.

Pe—

I- No, no wait. I missed you too. And- And I literally got vaccumed up into a portal in the middle of the dance like, surprise surprise there so I think we’re entitled. You know? Just for a minute. Just for… This emergency. Jacob. Oh my gods… Peter, he— In the other place. World…

I shouldn’t-- It’s not fair to you, I just... Gods, I missed you...

“Go figure you’d like it. I should have pegged you as a musical theater lover. Anyone capable of putting up with the pep Charlie puts off for long periods of time probably is.  Oh yeah, you really lucked out in the powers department, didn’t you?”

Dramatic sigh. “I’m out of licorice, and the world hates me. But mostly fine. How are you?”

“Why do you have to say that like it’s an insult? Sara Barielles created a musical genius with Waitress, can I just cry in piece? Yeah, I always forget I have it, even though I’m on always on my DemiPhone for work.”

“Why did the gods let Hamilton get made? I swear people make playlists for the sole purpose of annoying me. Stop sharing them publicly. DM’s exist for a reason, guys. I know we’re demi-gods, and by nature we have to be bad with technology, but we aren’t idiots. Come on.”

“Hey, Hamilton is still really good, it’s not they’re fault white theater geeks ruined it. Anyway, if it weren’t for my ability, I’d probably be really bad with technology too.”

You helped get us back, huh? My every reality’s hero.

Charlie.

Hey man, if it helps any… You definitely look just great for a guy who needs to sleep for maybe a month, maybe more. I figure you’re one of the kind folks I have to thank on my official ‘thankings tour’, yeah?

Thank you, I had Estelle dye my grey hairs back to black. Oh, probably not, I didn’t do too much rescuing, just, ah, care-taking of the new campers we had for a minute there. Kane, right? Glad you’re all back, safe and sound.

Uh, I can do whatever I want, Pedro. But ew, no. That’s gross and I’m not some kind of predator. 

I bet other us suck, though. Like, does the other Daphne even have money? Is she even cute? She could be a blob for all I know.

Okay, I just wanted to be sure, I’m not sure how I would have handled it.

You’ll probably lose your hair from all the stress before I even finish turning into a silver fox.

Hm, no. Screw Marina, she’s mean to me. Pete, I miss her too. She probably already replaced us with our alters.  

Oh, gross, that doesn’t mean you’re gonna start dating people in their twenties when you’re old, right?

I don’t know any Peter. [ still holding that knife up ] How do you know my name? Why can’t your people just leave me alone? I’m half human, dammit.

Why? [ almost laughs ] That’s hilarious. Demigods have a go at me on a weekly basis, but the second I try to defend myself somehow I’m the bad guy? Like I said; I don’t know you.

Hey, can we put the knife down? Please? I’m really in no mood to get stabbed today. I-I know that, that’s why you’re here... Did I do something wrong?

I’m the granny that wears tie-dye and skateboards down the street because she’s down with the youth. 

You can get whatever you want, just don’t tell Marina. Actually, I don’t think she’d care. 

Doesn’t mean you’re not graying. And look-- [grabs a fistful of his own hair] I still have my beautiful locks.

Hate to break it to you, but we will never respect your authority. You’re like, two. We’re eighty. 

Oh, I have haven’t dropped off the keys for some of the shops. Wanna go make ourselves some ice cream?

Hah... You’re old and I’m young and beautiful.

I can make you some tea and do some sheet masks. Let’s watch Big Hero 6. I’m sure everyone is okay and I think you’re starting to lose hair. 

I love Big Hero 6... Such a classic... I don’t think so, but I did find a grey hair... Do you think that makes me older than you and Dia now? Will she respect my authority?

Why is it so hard to open portals to other dimensions? If it happened once, it can happen again. I hate magic. It literally doesn’t have to be complicated but, I guess.