trees as far as the eye can see

there are causes for memory loss besides dementia and alzheimer’s, i hope y’all know that. dissociative disorders, trauma, brain injuries, thyroid problems, even just stress and lack of sleep can fuck up your ability to store, process, and access memory. and that’s just a few of the many causes i can think of off the top of my head right now.

forgetting passwords, forgetting names and people, forgetting your dreams, having too vivid dreams, insomnia, brain fog, face blindness, remembering your days like a blur, struggling to remember your schedule, school/work day gone too fast, forgetting to eat, forgetting to drink, derealization, depersonalization can all be caused by dissociation. i know its hard to accept but it is, just because you don't black out doesn't mean you don't dissociate; if you sit on your computer stopping for a second doubting your password or if you wake up feeling like that was a trainwreck of a dream then suddenly it stops being visible is caused by dissociation. if you're awake, looking around but having the feeling that something with the existence of the surroundings is wrong is also dissociation. if you suddenly remember that you forgot to eat that day, that you forgot to drink that day, the time is 3 am and even though you never blacked out and you were always there, is still dissociation.

I think one of the best ways to deal with this is to ask yourself "who am I doing this for?"

A lot of people fakeclaim those with DID under the idea of they're doing it for attention, so here's some scenarios where you'd ask "who am I doing this for?"

When you're about to sleep, and you're talking to your alters and telling everyone that you need to go to sleep: who are you doing that for?

When you're blurry and blendy during the day, not really sure on who you are: who are you doing that for?

When the dissociation is too heavy to do anything and you need to take a break from school or work: who are you doing that for?

If you're someone who gets pseudo seizures/tremors during dissociation that is uncomfortable and scary: who are you doing that for?

When you hear an unfamiliar voice, similar to one you've seen in media, and it causes you dismay because you don't want another fictive: who are you doing that for?

As you can see in each of these situations it is ridiculous that you would be faking because what would you have to gain? And self doubt is a guarantee it's almost part of the diagnostic criteria due to the dissociative amnesia. But remember whenever you're in that spiral of self doubt ask yourself

Who are you doing this for?

maybe plurality is kindness. A kindness of the brain extended to a tiredness of the soul.