confused and gullible

Your brain remembers when you forget something but not what you’ve forgotten.

Before radios, tvs, and smartphones people never knew there were so many dumb people out there. They just thought it was that one guy in town.

over-explaining everything because you’re scared of not making sense or people thinking you’re stupid

the thrilling sequel: under-explaining everything because you’re afraid of being seen as a rambling mess

the stunning conclusion: wildly varying between both based off the most recent way you’ve fucked up 

There should be a feature on iOS/Android to allow you to assign a specific language keyboard for different contacts.

Maybe each year feels faster because it’s a smaller fraction of your life comparatively.

Oh my fucking god Preach…

As a kid I always viewed adults as adult. As an adult I’ve realised no adults are adult.

I want donuts and cuddles and coffee in the morning and neck kisses I really don’t think that’s too much to ask for

When self-driving cars go mainstream, drunk-dialing exes may be superseded by drunk-showing-up-in-exes-driveways.