/Jason/

I am considering either transferring to Brown (if I get in) or applying to Oxford to study abroad! Idk which would be best for me but I do think I need to change environments bc this one is becoming quite toxic! I need to tell SOMEONE OK. my parents don’t think I can get into either (why would they), but I think I can esp if I want it bad enough? There are other ways to get to our dreams! So let’s try for both and see? But may need to retake SAT oof. 

I cannot wait until I can pass out after 3pm tomorrow (after work, a meeting, and another meeting) until Friday (until I have to go into BK). Will sleep for my whole month off -- after the 19th. hehe :(

just poppin in to say: I am currently writing a 20-page paper in the lib at 10:23 pm and have 7 pgs more to go. Holding myself accountable. It’s due tomorrow!

a dream date: going to a cafe/coffee shop and reading/doing work with another cute academic. just being in each other’s presence whilst we absorb the words we are reading. Or studying together in a library!! and then we go for a walk through the woods. lol.

I somehow need to get done a draft of my 20-page paper by let’s say Saturday night because it is due shortly and next week I’ll be quite slammed with work! And I need a draft so I can perfect it because I need to do well! I am out here trying my best y’all and my best just is not enough for one of my profs! Yikes!

I am realizing that no matter how “hard” I work or want something, I still despise myself because I will never, truly be “enough”—for anyone and myself

when you’re so busy that you owe $8 in overdue library books that you haven’t even gotten to read yet because of all the others you had to read!! and your life is falling apart, your rooms a mess, but at least (I hope) are getting those A’s