resurrect your gays

date auction au and "what makes this fic grow? What do you need to make it grow?"

so this one started off as spec fic back in january, when i wrote a shitton of it, and then got stymied in production hell when canon officially jossed it, so now i'm in limbo with a lot of usable parts... but others that i'm just kinda like. hmm. do I want to rework some bits so it's a little more clearly grounded in what actually happened to define the AU of it all, versus the "going in blind" spec approach I started with? like for example, i definitely have Eddie's moments of "wow i sure don't wanna date randoms" in there from "Secrets" (which dropped around the time I started this) but Buck's emotional beats are pretty localized to "oh I'm being weird about Eddie...... and I can't stop myself" which. like. clearly we all have an appetite for! But I feel like I need to add some more meat on the bone to really make it hit. Do I mine some of the canon I've thus far discarded for that, or do I just make it up?

Short answer: I dunno! it's been a few months since I really dove into this fic and tried to work out the kinks, so I think I just need to attack it with fresh eyes again and play with the pieces. I know I really love what I have - like, let's be real, Buck and Eddie going on a "platonic" romantic Valentines Day date is the bread and butter type situation that makes this ship so fun to write, and I really do like the way they can just... feed off each other when that happens! So I do think that once I just pick a direction I'll be able to knock it out, I just need to sit with it long enough to make a real decision. (or else someone can just lock me in a basement and force me to write til it's done? i'll try whatever at this point.)

full moon fic and "🌾 - what makes this fic grow? What do you need to make it grow?"

lol Dee I literally threw this one in for you <3 honestly i suspect that, to make this fic grow, i might have to rework it from the ground up somehow? The original core premise was that, okay, lean into the goofy prankster side of buddie a little - buck is being lowkey ridiculous about the full moon to press eddie's buttons, so eddie decides to fuck with him back a little, but then it gets a little out of hand because, whoops! actually kissing buck was not actually in his gameplan! but backing out of the bit is... harder than expected? oh no it's escalating and getting more serious and wow eddie really wants this! but also it's all from buck's POV so... does buck know what's happening in eddie's head? no. and like, buck's not dumb. but also he is sorta superstitious and, more importantly, a little afraid of relinquishing the waning emotional defenses that are propped up by his denial, so that's how it ends up going on and on...

but the trouble i'm having with the "okay 5 times... but only on full moons"... is that that quickly becomes a storyline that now stretches over 5 months, which makes me start wondering. hmm. at what point does this just strain credulity, or else just become really mean-spirited on at least one if not both sides? i love crack treated seriously, but i also struggle with miscommunication persisting past the point of good sense or meaningful reason. like, buck and eddie are grown adults who ARE willing to have an argument over some shit, especially with each other, to clear the air. idk that they could intentionally fuck around with each other like that (pun intended, because it would absolutely wind up with them fucking) for that long in a way that i could write in a way that felt convincing to ME, let alone anyone else. SO.

do i need to abandon the 5 times format? do i need to re-calibrate the premise? i like the core, inciting idea, but maybe it's the timeline i have to adjust and just have it all play out in the span of one full moon to the next? do i sacrifice the limited Buck POV and make it dual? I dunno!!! i'm going in circles, which means I am making no progress despite my deep affection for the wip idea. (But I do welcome input!!!)